FarmGirl Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 My nearly 22 year old son is moving here from Florida with his wife to be and her 4 year old daughter. Needless to say I am thrilled. They are moving 1 hour away from me but 2 doors down from his dad whom I have a pleasant (although divorced) relationship with. My XH was the one who found & secured their apartment for them so I understand why it's next door to him. However...as the primary parent, the one who was there for every function, tear, skinned knee etc, while my XH was off hunting and having a good time, this hurts a little... Now comes the major issue... My XH has a brand new GF who seems to be staying over a lot. SHE not me will be the one to see the kids the most and she's only been around a few weeks. This is making me jealous and angry and I know it's just silly but I can't help myself. What do I do? How can I be a grown up in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 Your feelings seem natural to me but yes, I can see where you do not want to let them get the best of you. You certainly do not want ANY other woman, not your ex's new gf, not a neighbor ...not anyone to be able to hog your grandchild more than yourself! Try to think of it that way until you can find them a house they can afford in your neighborhood. (Kind of kidding) . On another note, who knows where the relationship with the new woman will go and if it goes all the way....No daughter in law wants to live 2 doors down from their mother in law anyway!!! AND...you raised your son. Through the ups and downs. His dad was there weekends and for fun. Your son's family values come from you and thats where he will reach with his new child. Just be elegant and be gracious and soon you feel that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FarmGirl Posted July 19, 2010 Author Share Posted July 19, 2010 Good advice 2sure, thank you so much. Link to post Share on other sites
AVR1962 Posted July 20, 2010 Share Posted July 20, 2010 Similiar situation myself....she will not have the bonding, relationship maybe but maybe not that either....you have nothing to worry about. Link to post Share on other sites
D-termined Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 I think you need to focus on what's important and that is your son. It doesn't matter what his father does for him, if it makes him happy and is for his benefit you should be thrilled. Everything that happened between you and him is way in the past and you should also be happy for him that he is having a new life now...everyone must move on, is not heathly to stay stock in the past. Maybe you think u still have feelings for him? otherwise I don't see a reason to be jealous...and if it is about your son spending too much time with her, trust me! a son never forgets who the real parent is and who is the one that was always there. Be Happy Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted July 21, 2010 Share Posted July 21, 2010 Jealousy turned gracious is Envy. ANd Envy is a complimentary form of admiration for something a wee bit out of reach. To the OP- you will someday be amazed that your son has followed your wisdom, for you see in his heart he knows who was there when the chips were down. Don't let the outward appearance fool you . Love comes from the inside and emits outwards. He and his wife deserve to live life by their choice and by choice they will be apart of both your lives and that of many others. The best we can ask of our children is to have supportive folks surround them. Lets keep an open mind that the new Gf is supportive and thus a PART of the bigger picture. One in which you are also A PART of. Link to post Share on other sites
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