Progress???

[trulyme]

So the other day I was having a really bad EX day. Every thought I had was about her. Everyone knows these days Im sure.

 

I have progressively been getting on better terms with her it seems.

 

She recently broke the silence and we talked over AOL for a little bit. I was going to have surgery done and she said let me know how that goes.

I seen her online a couple times after that but i still remained hesitant to even talk to her. So I would just sign off.

 

Well, the other day i broke down and Txted her on her phone. I asked if she was up for lunch.

About 5 minutes go by and Im thinking she is going to wait it out or not reply back at all. Well, she called me back. First time I have talked to her in like 6 weeks. She just goes on about how she is busy busy and I just pretty much let her talk. Then I try to let her go and she starts asking about me. So we chat for a few minutes and tell her I have to go.

She agreed to meet me for lunch next week in which I said I would call her then.

 

But I have been thinking; this girl has got to be fully aware of what I think about her. I mean its been about 2 months since the break-up, but she has to know that I have feelings for her and deep ones at that. The break up was my fault, but I wonder when we go to lunch if she is going to be able to see through me. I can act as friendly as I want, but deep down this girl has to know that friends are not my intentions.

 

Any advice for this??

I really like her and I have been working on my grass is greener syndrome........but I just dont know how to come off acting when i am with her?

Of course I am going to be myself. Im sure if I come off like I want her back (on our first meeting since the break) its going to scare her away. But I also dont want to scare her away by acting to much like a friend. Cause maybe her intentions are different as well.

Tips anyone anyone??

[UCFKevin]

Don't act any way. Just be yourself. Don't make yourself all casual. If you don't think you can be JUST friends with her, which I completely understand, then tell her that.

 

Besides, it's waaaay too damn soon to be just friends after your relationship.

[trulyme]

See, that is what I was thinking. She has to know that it is just too soon and that I really dont have "friends" on my mind.

 

I wonder if I should even go at all?

 

She may be on the friends path and I am on the other path.

[UCFKevin]

Do YOU want to go?

 

It's all up to you. Do it for you if you must.

[trulyme]

I think that me going will just let me know if something is still there or if it is gone. I think I will be able to tell that in her also. If she is out of it, it is going to show. But she could also act like she was into me, and just want to be friends. I hope I can tell the difference between the 2.

Truly

[NEONINK]

Man... What's wrong with people???

 

If you feel a certain way... why not own up to it? So what if you get rejected. Heck, it sounds like you've done your rejecting in the past.

 

If you love her... Why not just say, "Hey, I think I love you." If you don't, why bother the poor girl at all? Leave her alone then. And go find your greener grass.

 

I don't get it. Either you feel a certain way or you don't. Otherwise, wait until you are grown up to participate in relationships.

 

ps. If you are just missing her because you are lonely and don't really love her, then shame on you.

[trulyme]

Well, that is what I am attempting to do. I do love this girl, but coming outright and telling her that the first time I see her after the break up is probably not the best way to go at it.

[NEONINK]

Why not? Everybody is tiptoeing their way through life.

 

How do you expect to get what you want if you don't ask for it?

 

Asking gives to a 50% chance of getting what you want.

 

Not asking, gives you a 100% chance of not getting what you want.

 

Trust me. I would love it.

[trulyme]

NEO, I read your profile.

 

From your comment in your profile, it sounds like you have run into a couple guys that were "grass is greener" types.

Right?

[NEONINK]

The one that brought me to Loveshack was just plain emotionally unavailable; perhaps like you became.

 

We had a nice 6 months... Then I couldn't do anything right. Commitment phobia? Perhaps. Questioning? Yes.

 

Everyone told me to break it off. I wasn't getting my needs met. I had many friends ask, why in the world did I stay. Because I WAS emotionally available and had fallen in love. However, when you can't sleep for night on end because you can't turn off the thoughts, it's time to do something different. So... I parted ways.

 

To the person that was emotionally UNavailable, my wishes are this... Get yourself fixed, get your head screwed on straight, and walk a straight line, step up to the plate, and risk it. If you truly love the other person though. If you are still wishy-washy and not sure... Leave them alone.

 

Love makes the world go 'round, in my book. It's free; it feels good. I believe this world is a very tough place, so if you find somebody that you love, and they love you, then hang on to it. Go the extra mile. Otherwise, it's a pretty cold place.

 

Especially after 40.

[trulyme]

Yea and I was going to ask your age also but I guess that you stated it there pretty much.

 

Well a little update. I am having lunch with her tomorrow. I hope she does not cancel on me. She is the one that said tomorrow would be the best day. But that gives her a couple days to think about backing out possibly. Which I feel may happe. She has given me no signs of backing out, but I have a gut feeling.

 

We will see. I know that if we go to lunch I am going to be able to tell right away if we are still there or not. Or even where we will go from there.

 

Neo, Im 23 by the way. And I must admit learning a hard "grass is greener" lesson!!