How do you move on when the love of your life abruptly decides to leave?

[Ms.Bull]

I am new here and looking for friends. I just went through a horrible break-up and cant figure out how to go on. The relationship we had was very great, then his friends butted in and told him that he needed to live his single life before settling down, so that is what he is doing now. He was the love of my life. And I feel so alone right now. He didnt even have the nerves to tell me, just packed up and left. Any Advice????????

[Darkangelism]

Let your feelings out. I feel bad for you, losing someone hurts...a lot.

[Vivid_29]

If you'd like, browse through the coping thread and see how many of us, found the strength to move on.

 

Believe or not, if it wasn't for Loveshack, the healing process for me, would have been that much slower.

 

You'll always have friends here. Keep your head up!

 

~Vivid

[Nubemeister]

All I can is just give it time...

I know you have heard this a lot, but it's a good one

Losing someone you love for no reason at all is something I know about...and it hurts. It's the most horrible feeling in the world, but time and just doing other things can help.

[UCFKevin]

My best way of coping? To be honest, it was this place. Coming here, getting advice, giving advice, it helped quite a bit.

 

Times like these show how weak willed some people are and how easily they succumb to peer pressure. It's best that this happened now instead of when you might have had more at stake, i.e. marriage or children.

 

As DarkAngel said, just let your emotions out. Don't keep them in. Cry a river if you must, do whatever you need to do.

[morrigan]

It was probably for the best you did break up at this time. I think his need to be "single" suggests a shallowness that would have hurt your relationship in the end anyway. Try to focus on other aspects of your life--your friends, family, social activities. I know how terrible it is when someone you love doesn't feel the same way anymore, but to dwell on how much you were hurt only wreaks havoc on your life. Take care of yourself!

[will_woman]

I totall agree with the folks here.....come here and start posting.....you can feel that you are not alone.

 

You must keep yourself really busy.....until you do not have time to feel the pain.

Once you tend to slow down, your mind will go wild and al those painful thoughts will come back...for me...I immediately jumped out of bed and grabbed a book and watch TV or talk to my family members.

[Cpunch75]

I have to agree with Kevin with coming to the shack for getting over the emotional trauma of breakups. I just can't sit home alone and not express myself about what I feel, I'm glad I have my fellow shackers to hear me out and I'm more than happy to hear them out too

 

also, will_woman, don't be afraid to really tell how you feel. there are some threads in here that show the whole healing process from a breakup. Let us hear it!

[jmargel]

You need to contact him and find out the exact reason why he left. You deserve at least that.

[Arabess]

As jmargel posted.....it would be nice to know WHY he decided to leave the relationship. Him blaming it on his friends is kind of a cop out.

 

Chances are though....he didn't go into details because either 1) He was trying to spare your feelings or he just isn't good at confrontations OR 2) He doesn't know exactly why his own self....he just knew he wanted out of the situation.

 

Contacting him may give you additional answers....but chances are...it won't change the end result. What could he really say to make you feel any better? However, if you feel you need that conversation or closure...you DO have a right to ask him for it.

 

The other posters are correct. LS members all different in many ways....but we share a common thread....most of us have been broken and wounded in the past. Many of us have made new friends, new loves and have moved on. It may not seem like it today....but healing is very do-able. It just takes time.....and some Shacker bandaides!! LOL!

[grounded]

My 2 cents is to not forget that no matter how you feel or what you think that there is light at the end of the tunnel. every second that ticks by is one second closer to doing better. what helped me when my Ex did the same was to talk about it a lot with friends, even if no one could solve the problem. it helps to talk even when you do not think it will. let him go, if you chase he will never return. and if someone has that sometimes natural need to run, there is nothing you can do to stop it , even if you are perfect. try to understand that it can be very very hard to make that final committment and that if he were unable to do that then YOU would have eventually fizzled out on the relationship. better now than down the road. hang in there, there is not much harder than this but you will make it.