Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. ~H.G. Wells

[TOWinNYC]

I love this quote because personally, I think there is truth to this statement.

 

Anyone agree with that? Disagree? And why?

[IfWishesWereHorses]

I can't believe that man shot his wife and threw his kids from a bridge!! Who could do such a thing???? Jealous??? I don't think so!

[AltF4]

I love this quote because personally, I think there is truth to this statement.

 

Anyone agree with that? Disagree? And why?

 

 

I disagree, at least for me. I've watched too many people I love suffer at the hands of others to want to be a part of something that might hurt someone else. Whether that be an affair, or something as simple as indulging in office gossip. Pretty much, I live my life by the "do unto others" standard.

[TOWinNYC]

I was thinking more in lines of some individuals out there who can’t stand other people’s happiness.

 

I’ve come across this attitude mostly from people who’ve done the “right thing" their whole lives (been the good girl/boy & played "by the rules") and wonder why they haven’t gotten a gold star (ie. happiness).

[AltF4]

I was thinking more in lines of some individuals out there who can’t stand other people’s happiness.

 

I’ve come across this attitude mostly from people who’ve done the “right thing" their whole lives (been the good girl/boy & played "by the rules") and wonder why they haven’t gotten a gold star (ie. happiness).

 

 

I'm not saying I've always played by the rules. The social/regional "class" that I come from had very different expectations for me. I pretty much decided I was going to seek my own happiness. And I don't expect a gold star.

 

I love it when others are happy. The only thing I don't like is when their happiness comes at the expense of others, especially when it doesn't have to. As far as As are concerned, I really don't care if the OW and MM end up together. If they're happy, that's awesome. It bothers me, however, that neither of them care beyond themselves to give the BS a chance to find her own happiness. Yeah, she "should" know, but sometimes they don't. And if someone would just grow a pair and tell her, she'd be able to find that happiness. That's all I want. For each part in the triangle to be happy.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Sorry, I didn't realize we were talking about moral indignation only as it applies to infidelity. Is that what Wells was refering too. Do you have a problem with moral indignation as it applies to other things, such as theft, murder, slander, rape, terrorism, ect...

[califnan]

I can't believe that the young man who sodomized a 3 year old and drowned her in the bathtub is about to be released.

 

There is No respect for human life anymore .. and partially because of legalized abortion and pornography ...

 

Indignant, and angry - Yes .... jealous - No.

 

(Still believe answers are in God's Word, not sayings from famous people) ..

[califnan]

I was thinking more in lines of some individuals out there who can’t stand other people’s happiness.

 

I’ve come across this attitude mostly from people who’ve done the “right thing" their whole lives (been the good girl/boy & played "by the rules") and wonder why they haven’t gotten a gold star (ie. happiness).

 

---------------------

 

Oh .. I can't speak for them ...

 

My father felt that he tried to do the right thing and played by the rules .. but he was never jealous of others' happiness..

[fooled once]

I can't believe that man shot his wife and threw his kids from a bridge!! Who could do such a thing???? Jealous??? I don't think so!

 

Agree

 

I love it when others are happy. The only thing I don't like is when their happiness comes at the expense of others, especially when it doesn't have to. As far as As are concerned, I really don't care if the OW and MM end up together. If they're happy, that's awesome. It bothers me, however, that neither of them care beyond themselves to give the BS a chance to find her own happiness. Yeah, she "should" know, but sometimes they don't. And if someone would just grow a pair and tell her, she'd be able to find that happiness. That's all I want. For each part in the triangle to be happy.

 

Great post!!

 

I think this is what a lot of people believe (what I bolded). If 2 people think they are that much in love, then do the honorable thing and let the spouse(s) know and give THEM a chance to weigh in on the situation. It would work out for everyone -- BS doesn't have to be blindsided by what her 'loyal' spouse is doing, the OW can have that great guy and the MM...well, he may not be happy since he won't be getting his needs met by 2 women.

[bentnotbroken]

Yup morally indignant describes the way I am feeling these days. Here a few reasons why.

 

1) because a 12 year old shot a 9 year old for calling his little sister "retarded".

 

2) because someone I go to the same gym with found out his 13 year old son, isn't his 13 year old son.

 

3)because there have been approxiamtely 5 bank robberies in the last 2 weeks.

 

4)because a father shot his 4 year old in the chest because he was crying and messing up his meth high.

 

5)because I saw a girl get slapped by her man friend in the mall a couple of weeks ago.

 

Sooooo much I feel morally indignant about, I think I will stop because I can't stand my own jealousy.

[TOWinNYC]

To be honest, I don't know exactly what Wells was referring to in the above quote but I was thinking of the quote in terms of Happiness.

 

I think what I was trying to get at - is that there are people out there who LOVE to negate people's successes and stomp on their happiness. Whether it's a job promotion (he got the job because of his father) or a new love interest (she's with him for the money not love) or something else.

 

I think people say things like this because they themselves, are unhappy - and by looking into other peoples gardens and picking it apart allows them to not think of their OWN life (and fixing it or changing it).

 

When you’re happy, truly happy, you’re not focusing on other people and their actions or decisions. When you’re happy, you’re focused on yourself and all the blessings your life holds.

[bentnotbroken]

To be honest, I don't know exactly what Wells was referring to in the above quote but I was thinking of the quote in terms of Happiness.

 

I think what I was trying to get at - is that there are people out there who LOVE to negate people's successes and stomp on their happiness. Whether it's a job promotion (he got the job because of his father) or a new love interest (she's with him for the money not love) or something else.

 

I think people say things like this because they themselves, are unhappy - and by looking into other peoples gardens and picking it apart allows them to not think of their OWN life (and fixing it or changing it).

 

When you’re happy, truly happy, you’re not focusing on other people and their actions or decisions. When you’re happy, you’re focused on yourself and all the blessings your life holds.

 

 

And some of the things I listed made the people who did them happy. Fraud makes a lot of people happy that it allows them to live a certian way at others expense. Whether it is getting the job, the love interest, the big bucks whatever.....if it's not done the right way....some folks don't feel jealousy, but anger, disgust,disbelief, sorrow and pity. But maybe the one who is doing something with lies and deciet is the one who may bit a bit jealous...maybe that's what he means. Who knows..

[Spark1111]

To be honest, I don't know exactly what Wells was referring to in the above quote but I was thinking of the quote in terms of Happiness.

 

I think what I was trying to get at - is that there are people out there who LOVE to negate people's successes and stomp on their happiness. Whether it's a job promotion (he got the job because of his father) or a new love interest (she's with him for the money not love) or something else.

 

I think people say things like this because they themselves, are unhappy - and by looking into other peoples gardens and picking it apart allows them to not think of their OWN life (and fixing it or changing it).

 

When you’re happy, truly happy, you’re not focusing on other people and their actions or decisions. When you’re happy, you’re focused on yourself and all the blessings your life holds.

 

If that is the meaning, then I think it is so, so true, based on what I have seen of human nature.

 

If it is moral indignation because a wrong has been perpetuated on the innocent, well then I too, am indignant.

 

But if it is moral indignation expressed for the sole purpose of denigrating another's life, or choices, or actions which do not hurt anyone, well I agree then: It is jealousy wearing a halo.

[sadintexas]

I dunno...based on your revised question...if the moral indignation is based on a wrong commited against an innocent party, I couldn't see the basis of it being jealousy.

 

I think it's more the people who want to tear other people down to feel better about themselves that's appropriate to the point you're bringing up. I think that has very little to do with moral indignation.

 

You're right in that most people who are happy don't bother with other people's personal lives. But then there are those who derive their happiness from meddling in other people's lives ya know, the drama queens. Then there are those, who by their own actions, interfere with MY peace and/or happiness by their crappy actions (either directly or indirectly) and yeah, those people, will have to watch out for me. Is it out of jealousy? Nope, it's out of disgust and loathing.

[SidLyon]

I love this quote because personally, I think there is truth to this statement.

 

Anyone agree with that? Disagree? And why?

 

Hmm ... I informed the OW's adult son of her affair with my husband. I used no rude or obscene words and did not call her any names. I merely told him that she and my husband used to spend their lunctimes having sex. She sent me an e-mail expressing moral indignation that I contacted her son. "Indecent" was the word she used.

 

I guess that you would think it means she's very jealous of me?

 

Personally I don't agree with either you or HG Wells.

[pureinheart]

I can't believe that the young man who sodomized a 3 year old and drowned her in the bathtub is about to be released.

 

There is No respect for human life anymore .. and partially because of legalized abortion and pornography ...

 

Indignant, and angry - Yes .... jealous - No.

 

(Still believe answers are in God's Word, not sayings from famous people) ..

 

Yup morally indignant describes the way I am feeling these days. Here a few reasons why.

 

1) because a 12 year old shot a 9 year old for calling his little sister "retarded".

 

2) because someone I go to the same gym with found out his 13 year old son, isn't his 13 year old son.

 

3)because there have been approxiamtely 5 bank robberies in the last 2 weeks.

 

4)because a father shot his 4 year old in the chest because he was crying and messing up his meth high.

 

5)because I saw a girl get slapped by her man friend in the mall a couple of weeks ago.

 

Sooooo much I feel morally indignant about, I think I will stop because I can't stand my own jealousy.

 

It just breaks my heart....not sure about anything else except the examples given above are beyond words...just absolutely horrifying...

[torranceshipman]

I am sorry, I do not agree. I assume you are an OW, so I can see why you would agree with it in regards to infidelity.

However, as a Christian woman, I suppose I am morally indignant to infidelity. But I am in no way jealous of my xH's OW who were lied to repeatedly, and treated like garbage, in my estimation.

 

I am also morally indignant of racism. Does that mean I am jealous of the KKK or skinheads? I think not.

 

Like Alt4, I prefer to believe in the Golden Rule.

 

I totally agree with this. You are lucky if you know good people with good morals, as it is their indignance that makes them be courageous and act in the face of immorality (for example standing up against racial inequality or sexism or bullying). You want someone like that on your side.

[jennie-jennie]

Well, the halo part sure is correct.

[Owl]

Well, the halo part sure is correct.

 

Howso?

 

I also don't agree with the quotation, and agree with the questions that others have raised about being morally indignant about things that aren't related specifically to infidelity.

 

I don't know that I saw a response, but I've got to ask...so is it "wrong" to be morally indignant to racism, abuse, violent crimes, etc... even if they're not done to me personally? Is that somehow a form of jealousy...or empathy instead?

[jthorne]

Howso?

 

I also don't agree with the quotation, and agree with the questions that others have raised about being morally indignant about things that aren't related specifically to infidelity.

 

I don't know that I saw a response, but I've got to ask...so is it "wrong" to be morally indignant to racism, abuse, violent crimes, etc... even if they're not done to me personally? Is that somehow a form of jealousy...or empathy instead?

Conversely, sometimes I have trouble being empathetic. Does that mean I'm just jealous?

 

Doesn't the point of this whole thread kind of go back to things that have been discussed at length before when someone doesn't approve of what another is doing? It's the whole "support vs validation" arguement: "If you don't like what I'm doing it's because you're just jealous!"

 

Seems a little closeminded to me.

[donnamaybe]

People sometimes THINK they're happy - and they may be for the time being - but once everything crumbles, they will quickly realize that momentary happiness wasn't worth the years wasted in their pretend world. I, for one, am in no way jealous. I have a good man who treats me wonderfully. What I feel is sadness for what I know people could have while they are wasting years with a liar. And it has nothing to do with moral anything.

[Owl]

See...that's where I have the break down with this quote.

 

 

If I'm "morally indignant"...how does that mean I'm jealous?

 

I'm a very "empathic" person. Especially for a guy. It's easy for me to pause, "put myself in the other guy's shoes", and picture what they must be feeling, what they're side must be like.

 

I absolutely did this during my wife's affair after d-day...trying to understand both her and OM's 'sides' of all of this.

 

That doesn't mean I AGREE with their choices or actions...but it helps me to understand what motivated to make those choices and take those actions.

 

My advice so many times to OW and OM on this forum is to end the affair and get it out of it.

 

It's not done because I'm jealous for them. It's because I know that the situation is hurting them...and hurting others.

 

Empathy...not jealousy.

[jennie-jennie]

See...that's where I have the break down with this quote.

 

 

If I'm "morally indignant"...how does that mean I'm jealous?

 

I'm a very "empathic" person. Especially for a guy. It's easy for me to pause, "put myself in the other guy's shoes", and picture what they must be feeling, what they're side must be like.

 

I absolutely did this during my wife's affair after d-day...trying to understand both her and OM's 'sides' of all of this.

 

That doesn't mean I AGREE with their choices or actions...but it helps me to understand what motivated to make those choices and take those actions.

 

My advice so many times to OW and OM on this forum is to end the affair and get it out of it.

 

It's not done because I'm jealous for them. It's because I know that the situation is hurting them...and hurting others.

 

Empathy...not jealousy.

 

Is it really empathy though, or is it projecting your own way of viewing things onto others? Pushy in my opinion. Certain you are viewing things from the one and only correct perspective.

[Owl]

Is it really empathy though, or is it projecting your own way of viewing things onto others? Pushy in my opinion. Certain you are viewing things from the one and only correct perspective.

 

Have you ever noticed that people tend to pick out the faults in others that usually are usually their own (unrealized) issues?

 

If you think I'M pushy and insistent that my way is the only right way...

 

Now...I will admit to a certain amount of arrogant presumption on my part, yes. When I'm proven wrong, I'll apologize. But (in that same arrogant vein) I'll also say that I'm typically right FAR more often than I'm wrong.

[pureinheart]

I can't believe that the young man who sodomized a 3 year old and drowned her in the bathtub is about to be released.

 

There is No respect for human life anymore .. and partially because of legalized abortion and pornography ...

 

Indignant, and angry - Yes .... jealous - No.

 

(Still believe answers are in God's Word, not sayings from famous people) ..

 

And, CN, agree with you 100%