DOLLYJAN Posted February 9, 2004 Share Posted February 9, 2004 Hi. I'm new to this.I need some advice badly.My husband and I have been married a little over 5 years and he left 3 weeks ago.He says he doesn't know what he wants.He has agreed to go see a counseler but says he doesn't know if he wants our marriage to work or not.This is very confusing.He won't tell me he loves me , he does say he cares about me and that he has feelings for me .He says he won't say '' I love you '' because he doesn't want to get my hopes up.iTS ALL SO CONFUSINGThe month after we were married I found out he was really into porn.When I confronted him he said he figued what I didsn't know wouldn't hurt me .That created a trust issue and it seemed things went down hill from there.It seemed like we went in this circle that never stopped .things got said out of anger that hurt each other and it seemrd we just couldn't get out of that circle. I don't know if I should just file for a divorce or if couseling could help us .I worry because he doesn't know if he wants it to work even though he said he would go to counseling.Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted February 9, 2004 Share Posted February 9, 2004 If you both agree, find a competent marriage counselor. (It may take a while, but call and ask the potential therapists pointed questions to see if they specialize in marriage counseling and communication skills). Learn how to talk to one another. Miscommunication is 90% of marriage problems. Link to post Share on other sites
bigheart Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 You just don't know it. What he's doing is probably signs of setting up to leave you. Check out his habits lately. Have they changed? Are you getting wrong numbers on the phone or hang-ups? I suggest you find out. You can even get software to keep an eye on his computer conversations and emails and stuff. I found good free information at DontBeCheated dot com that gives you some things you can do without spending any money to find out what he's up to and you can be sure he's up to something. I know nobody likes to hear this kind of stuff - its like tough love - but why suffer wondering about it when you can do something to find out. Hey what do you have to lose? If I'm wrong you are no farther behind, right? For your sake I hope I'm wrong. Go find out. Link to post Share on other sites
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