My spouse's dream.

[Errol]

Told me about it this morning and its been on my mind. Was a little embarassed telling me, but told me anyway. it seems that I was brother and not spouse and even though I had been with my spouse for a long time - we hadn't had sex in years, it turns out that we are brother and sister and while my spouse was desperatly trying to get me to have sex, "our" sister showed up in the dream (spouses sister for real) and even though I don't know her and know that she and my spouse haven't spoken in decades, I chose her to have sex with her and totally ignored my spouse/sister who was right next to me. My spouse/sister took it in stride on the surface, but even in the dream said heart was breaking but figured it was par for the course and was trying to watch us since we were doing this out in the open, then spouse woke up before anything actually happened. Kinda weird and I'm wondering where this dream came from! I'm not one for analyzing dreams, but spouse has never had a dream where any family has been in it and certainly not a sexual dream. The whole dream apparently took place in the back yard of the house they grew up in, amidst the laundry hanging on the line.

 

Spouse has never had a sexual dream. Most dreams are bad and about death and fear (mine are too) and never about sex!

 

I know its just a dream, but it left me feeling a little strange. Odd how lingering something like that can be. I wonder if its on spouses mind today? I'll ask tonight.

[Darkangelism]

That was really hard to follow, but it is just a dream.

[meanon]

LOL Errol I wouldn't ask just before bedtime.

 

Dreams vary so much from person to person and over time in terms of their significance, I wouldn't worry about it. If she usually dreams about fears then this dream may have a root cause in reality but the way it is expressed (in this case sexual) is often a random construct. Do ask if you think the sexual content may be more significant. Is your wife at all bothered about the lack of contact with her sister? Was there a breach in the relationship because of a perceived betrayal? These seem more likely scenarios to me.

[Thinkalot]

Yes, Errol, we have such odd ways of puting random thoughts from our life, our fears, our daily contact with people..together in weird old dreams!

 

It could be that she does have some underlying issues /worries with her sister...or stemming back to the childhood home etc. Talk to her about it, thinking laterally, because dreams are rarely about what's on the surface.

 

I have a regular dream that I am back in the home I spent my first 20 years growing up in... I tend to have that dream when I am feeling anxious or insecure. I think it is because I loved that home, and felt secure there. The content of the dream varies, sometimes different old friends, or my grandpa (who has died) are there too.

 

Interesting stuff dreams.

[Wolvesbaned]

First off dreams are just dreams, most don't have a logical explanation to them, but here is my non-professional analysis :

 

it seems that I was brother and not spouse and even though I had been with my spouse for a long time - we hadn't had sex in years, it turns out that we are brother and sister

From reading some of your posts, you seem to share a happy and contented relationship. One that understands and expresses real love (outside of the honeymoon stage) -which is truly beautiful. But maybe your wife secretly longs for a time when there was more passion, more spontaneity.

while my spouse was desperately trying to get me to have sex, "our" sister showed up in the dream (spouses sister for real) and even though I don't know her and know that she and my spouse haven't spoken in decades

The reason why her sister was inserted in the dream is maybe because they haven't spoken in so long. Also, most siblings experience a time of competitiveness, especially when young. Since you were the "brother" in the dream, her sister is the logical "other person".

The whole dream apparently took place in the back yard of the house they grew up in, amidst the laundry hanging on the line.

The setting seems to match the feel of the dream - a place she was comfortable in?

My spouse/sister took it in stride on the surface, but even in the dream said heart was breaking

This reinforces her love for you. If she doesn't feel there is passion between you nowerdays, she may fear that you do not desire her.

 

Without knowing too much about everything, I think your wife longs for a little spontaneous, spice: passion like when you two were younger. If anything her dream communicates her happiness in the marriage, but most women want to be desired. (It is possible to feel absolutely loved, but not desired.)