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Torturing myself about cheating


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So here it goes...

 

So I met my partner and all was going well until she kept on making inuendos about my body. It wasn't what she found attractive. I, being in such a bad state (found out dad was about to die) tried to do my best and get my body in shape. She kept on bringing up the issue, I was trying my best, I was working trying to pay for us and all (I did find her going on a hookup website). So I cheated out of anger. I hurt myself so badly by doing so, but it was a choice I made and I have to live with it..

 

Since then I've helped by paying basically everything. She doesn't know. I do love her but the pain still comes up to the point of being debilitating. I just felt like for all I was doing for someone they were just so horrid to me that I felt justified at the time. I just feel so lost and love her because we do mesh well. I just cant forgive myself for this instance.

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Maybe you should ask yourself why you are staying with a person and paying all the bills who continues to insult and make you feel bad about yourself. Why would you love a person who hurts you this way?

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So you love her but she hurts you and you cheat on her. Sounds like a messed up situation. Why not break up with her and start over where you are honest about things.

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