Gunny376 Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 Is it just me or is it that women care more about being "one" and a family and doing "family things" together" as a family and as couple than they do about climbing up the "food-chain-corporate ladder" ~ having material things and belongings? Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 Well I'm a woman and, yes, I care more about doing things as a couple/family than I do about material possessions. That said, I don't object to having enough money to go on nice holidays and buy a car that can at least get me to the supermarket and back without breaking down. But, ultimately, yes, family/love/quality time together etc is more important to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 Is it just me or is it that women care more about being "one" and a family and doing "family things" together" as a family and as couple than they do about climbing up the "food-chain-corporate ladder" ~ having material things and belongings? I caution you not to generalize here. There are men and women who put family first and there are both men and women who put money and climbing the corporate ladder first. It's very dangerous to generalize an answer here because every person, male or female, is DIFFERENT!!! Where people are in the scheme of things probably depends on age, education, employment, financial status, religious beliefs, etc. Again, E V E R Y B O D Y I S D I F F E R E N T. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gunny376 Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 I caution you not to generalize here. There are men and women who put family first and there are both men and women who put money and climbing the corporate ladder first. It's very dangerous to generalize an answer here because every person, male or female, is DIFFERENT!!! Where people are in the scheme of things probably depends on age, education, employment, financial status, religious beliefs, etc. Again, E V E R Y B O D Y I S D I F F E R E N T. Agreeded! Everyone is the same ~ and everyone is different! Link to post Share on other sites
kelly1030 Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I've been on both sides of this fence. The more money my ex made, the more miserable we both were. I was much happier when we were young and struggling and didn't have much. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 Is it just me or is it that women care more about being "one" and a family and doing "family things" together" as a family and as couple than they do about climbing up the "food-chain-corporate ladder" ~ having material things and belongings? Women are nurturers by nature? Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 Yes, of course everybody is different BUT there are some things that have a gender bias. Going back to our ancestors, women were the ones who nurtured the family and men were the providers. That makes Gunny's suggestion quite possible. Obviously modern society has changed they way we do things and 'getting up the ladder' has more to do with brains than brawn, but there are a huge number of very intelligent, educated women who put their careers on hold, or even give them up completely, to raise their children. These women clearly value family above corporate status or money (for themselves as individuals anyway) but in many cases their husband could be providing that for them. It's still possible that many more would do the same if they were in a financial position that gave them the choice. Of course, there are also men who become stay at home Dads, but the numbers are far, far less. Is that because of the expectations of society or is it because men would rather be climbing the ladder to 'provide security and material possessions' for their family. Or maybe they climb the corporate ladder because their family is their priority? Personally, I would rather live in a shack with a man I love than in a mansion with someone who works 24/7 and can't take time off for his kids birthdays - but then I live a comfortable lifestyle, so possibly I'd think differently if I had nothing. I'm sure all the variables that Tony mentions will come into play but biology still has a very strong hold on us, however much society wants us to fight against it. I think it's a very interesting question Gunny. Isn't it generalisations like this that make for interesting discussions? Link to post Share on other sites
solitary_man Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 pardon me for generalizing, but how do you think generalizations become generalizations? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gunny376 Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 Personally, I would rather live in a shack with a man I love than in a mansion with someone who works 24/7 and can't take time off for his kids birthdays - but then I live a comfortable lifestyle, so possibly I'd think differently if I had nothing You've answered the question! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gunny376 Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 I've been on both sides of this fence. The more money my ex made, the more miserable we both were. I was much happier when we were young and struggling and didn't have much. Only validates my question? Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 What's the question again? Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 Is it just me or is it that women care more about being "one" and a family and doing "family things" together" as a family and as couple than they do about climbing up the "food-chain-corporate ladder" ~ having material things and belongings? Sadly not in my case, her career ultimately won out. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 Personally, I would rather live in a shack with a man I love than in a mansion with someone who works 24/7 and can't take time off for his kids birthdays - but then I live a comfortable lifestyle, so possibly I'd think differently if I had nothing. I, for one, would have loved to have children's birthday parties without beer cans in the background of every video and adorable picture. I am actually jealous of my peers who ARE climbing the corporate ladder who have pictures in their offices and personal work stations of their family... I wish I could have had those. My ex even berated me for not having family photos at my work....I told him I took all my personal items home after worrying about a layoff, but actually, I was humiliated that I couldn't have a decent picture of our son without a Bud next to the birthday cake...(yes, even starting on our son's first birthday). :mad: Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 Only validates my question? Loaded question...a "career" only wins out when a man makes you miserable.:mad: Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 Or maybe they climb the corporate ladder because their family is their priority? Yes, I would have to agree on this one...even if it isn't appreciated most of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 Sadly not in my case, her career ultimately won out. TOJAZ Loaded question...a "career" only wins out when a man makes you miserable.:mad: Ouch, that one stung! Guns, not sure what your getting at here. I dont think its wise to look for patterns and trends and say women do this and men do that. Yes men and women are wired different but so are each and every individual as well. That why i often joke that I hate everybody, but I hate them on a person by person basis. What people value in their lives is ultimately shaped by the life they have led and the decisions they make. I am a man, but I had issues with Quality time with my wife and value my family heavily. Have never valued my work as anything more then a paycheck and could care less what door someones names on or how many letters they have attached to their name. Every person has their own set of values and I truly don't believe gender has anything to do with it. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 (edited) Ouch, that one stung! Sorry, that one was based on my own personal reasons....I'm sure you didn't drive your wife crazy with instigating fights and being immature. Working non-stop for me was better than being at home, at work I could get a little peace of mind - home was like a war zone back then. What people value in their lives is ultimately shaped by the life they have led and the decisions they make. I am a man, but I had issues with Quality time with my wife and value my family heavily. Have never valued my work as anything more then a paycheck and could care less what door someones names on or how many letters they have attached to their name. Every person has their own set of values and I truly don't believe gender has anything to do with it. TOJAZ I agree, what people value does drive them to what they do. I would have valued being able to come home to loving family, a loving husband....but I also knew for my personal situation, this was never going to happen, so I chose career to make up for what was lacking at home. Some people might see that as selfish, maybe the ex was wanting to spend quality time with me...truthfully, he didn't want that until the end of our marriage....more to help his guilty feelings and validate his leaving. Ironically, I had forgotten that I found LS back in 2007. I created a thread on the parenting forum and only posted one time as lesMiserables. The story there is not much different than what I have posted as Trippi, but it was like a wake up call when I found it and went back to read it...even back then, my ex and family were exasperating. I never went back to read the feedback to that thread and totally forgot about it until recently when I changed my password on LS and used the wrong email address. Got a notification under this other username, then it dawned on me, I posted that 3 years ago!! lesMiserables thread. Edited July 24, 2010 by trippi1432 Link to post Share on other sites
Butterflair Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 As a woman and in my own perspective, I value family and time together more than material things. A career or a huge house is not something I would strive for. If a rich man and a poor man were both interested in me, I would choose the one that made me laugh, paid attention to me and adored me. I don't need gifts nor finery. I don't wear jewelry though I own some. With that said, I do have my own income (inheritance related), I don't have to work, I don't want for anything, all my bills are paid, I'm able to travel and take vacations do the things I want so maybe my perspective is different . I also worry that I will scare off any man because I don't need one to take care of me. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
wrencn Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 If I knew then what I know now I would have focused on my career. Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 As a woman and in my own perspective, I value family and time together more than material things. A career or a huge house is not something I would strive for. If a rich man and a poor man were both interested in me, I would choose the one that made me laugh, paid attention to me and adored me. I don't need gifts nor finery. I don't wear jewelry though I own some. With that said, I do have my own income (inheritance related), I don't have to work, I don't want for anything, all my bills are paid, I'm able to travel and take vacations do the things I want so maybe my perspective is different . I also worry that I will scare off any man because I don't need one to take care of me. :/ You have a point on the rich man/poor man theory; however, I think as women we both know that it's not about who has what...it's about who shows more caring. With that said, it could be either. A poor man is just as likely to treat you badly as is a rich man or vice-versa. It's not as much about material things as it is the quality of time two people spend together. If I knew then what I know now I would have focused on my career. Wow, a lot of truth in that...I would say the same thing, but I would have been focusing on a career that made me happy (music). Instead, I have a "career" that I despise and an education that I could care less about. Link to post Share on other sites
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