I sent her an email

[Mombot]

Separated man is on his way up here to see me. I finally bit the bullet and sent his W an email, letting her know an extramarital situation existed. We'll see what happens.

[Mimolicious]

Get ready because the dragon is now unleashed.

[sadintexas]

I hope you get the answers from her that you need. Please be careful. If the situation isn't as he said it is, by you revealing, he could be really angry right now.

[Fallen Angel]

Separated man is on his way up here to see me. I finally bit the bullet and sent his W an email, letting her know an extramarital situation existed. We'll see what happens.

 

Just for the sake of my own curiosity, how did you get her email address?

 

Anyway, Good for you. you want it out in the open and made a move. I am glad you made a decision for yourself. No matter how it turns out, you stayed true to yourself, that is what is important.

[Mombot]

Have thought and thought, gave up thinking and decided to be happy and put me first. So, we'll see. I do really care about this man, but I have to care about my own life first.

[Mombot]

I got her email address from his computer when I was helping him a few weeks ago.

[2sunny]

i think this is terribly backwards. why would you not just ask HIM directly?

 

this is so passive /aggressive he is going to wonder about you now. what is wrong with just asking HIM for the truth and the proof?

 

is the truth that hard to talk about? IF it is - then you shouldn't be seeing him at all anyway.

[Mombot]

I hope you get the answers from her that you need. Please be careful. If the situation isn't as he said it is, by you revealing, he could be really angry right now.

I doubt if he'll know immediately.

[2sunny]

Have thought and thought, gave up thinking and decided to be happy and put me first. So, we'll see. I do really care about this man, but I have to care about my own life first.

 

it's better if you did it by being honest instead of deceitful and had consideration for his stbxw.

 

what is so wrong with asking for HIS truth? are you that afraid of him that you have to hurt her?

[Mimolicious]

While we are at it.... What did you say on the email? Is he on his way to see you right this sec? Are you going to tell him what you just did?

[2sunny]

who knows how soon she'll read it. if she does immediately, she'll call him - he'll probably turn right around and run home to make things all pretty with her.

 

then what will you do?

[SidLyon]

I could be wrong but I sense Mombot is at the stage where she recognizes that this could go any way but nevertheless she's still put it out there and willing to see what happens. I imagine she's hoping to get some perspective on the situation by seeing how the BW and the MM react.

[Mombot]

who knows how soon she'll read it. if she does immediately, she'll call him - he'll probably turn right around and run home to make things all pretty with her.

 

then what will you do?

He lives 1200 miles from her,

[GreenEyedLady]

i think this is terribly backwards. why would you not just ask HIM directly?

 

this is so passive /aggressive he is going to wonder about you now. what is wrong with just asking HIM for the truth and the proof?

 

is the truth that hard to talk about? IF it is - then you shouldn't be seeing him at all anyway.

 

This has been my point since day 1.

 

GEL

[Mombot]

If they are truly separated then she should not care. If he runs to her (not likely) then go.

As for what I said, I said that there's another woman in the picture and thought she should know, and that was about it.

[2sunny]

While we are at it.... What did you say on the email? Is he on his way to see you right this sec? Are you going to tell him what you just did?

 

this, what did the email say exactly?

 

and now she has a way to contact you. wouldn't be my first choice.

[NoIDidn't]

Wow, so, under the guise of helping him with his computer, you snooped and got her email address?

 

I know you were actually helping him, but you did stop for that moment when you did something not related to that problem (so I say "under the guise").

 

He's not going to be too happy about this. Not that you should care, though.

 

If they aren't separated, he's going to be pissed. If they are, he's going to be upset that you didn't trust him enough to just ask him.

[GreenEyedLady]

Wow, so, under the guise of helping him with his computer, you snooped and got her email address?

 

I know you were actually helping him, but you did stop for that moment when you did something not related to that problem (so I say "under the guise").

 

He's not going to be too happy about this. Not that you should care, though.

 

If they aren't separated, he's going to be pissed. If they are, he's going to be upset that you didn't trust him enough to just ask him.

 

Lose lose situation.

[Mombot]

I just thought you should know I really like him and am seeing him. My conscious told me to.

[GreenEyedLady]

I just thought you should know I really like him and am seeing him. My conscious told me to.

 

To snoop?

 

Mombot, what are you thinking?

 

If you can't trust him, break it off.

 

He's going to be freaked out. How would you feel if he went into your computer and checked your history and found out you were on loveshack?

 

Or hacked into your email account and emailed every contact that had a male name?

 

You'd feel violated. And you should.

 

You should just talk to him if you have concerns. You're acting like a betrayed spouse here, not a casual girlfriend.

 

GEL

[Fieldsofgold]

I just thought you should know I really like him and am seeing him. My conscious told me to.

 

I really think you are having a hard time sorting things through and making a decision. I really think you need IC.

[2sunny]

how old are you Mombot?

[Fieldsofgold]

Ok, I'm just going to say it. I don't mean this to be offensive, but I've read most of your threads along, over the past few weeks, and I have wondered from time to time if you are a rather subtle troll.

 

Or you really need IC.

[Fallen Angel]

To snoop?

 

Mombot, what are you thinking?

 

If you can't trust him, break it off.

 

He's going to be freaked out. How would you feel if he went into your computer and checked your history and found out you were on loveshack?

 

Or hacked into your email account and emailed every contact that had a male name?

 

You'd feel violated. And you should.

 

You should just talk to him if you have concerns. You're acting like a betrayed spouse here, not a casual girlfriend.

 

GEL

 

I agree with that.

 

It was a violation.

 

Mombot, did you not discuss this with him?

 

I think you had a right to contact her if you wanted to, however to blindside him with it.. wow!

[whichwayisup]

Separated man is on his way up here to see me. I finally bit the bullet and sent his W an email, letting her know an extramarital situation existed. We'll see what happens.

 

He is STILL married and obviously still close with his wife. I know you don't like that nor do you want to hear it. It seems your jealously has gotten in the way and you've taken matters into your own hands. You've more than likely blown up what you have with him. I hope you realize that there's a pretty good chance now that you're going to lose him forever. That he is going to resent you for interferring in his marriage, HIS business.

 

I got her email address from his computer when I was helping him a few weeks ago.

 

Will you tell him this when he asks where you got his wife's email address? Or will you lie to him.

 

If they are truly separated then she should not care. If he runs to her (not likely) then go.

As for what I said, I said that there's another woman in the picture and thought she should know, and that was about it.

 

It isn't up to you to do this, to tell her. You told to suit yourself. She could now SCREW him over big time in the divorce (that is, if he really is separated) and he'll want nothing to do with you.

 

Reguardless of the outcome, you've handled this poorly. Sorry but you snooped and did something that now you may regret.