the internalizer (again)

[sara]

today started out fairly well but it didn't end that way. i am trying very hard to deal with the outer world instead of living in the inner world. i did well on somethings but other things i just can't seem to think from a different point of view. i mean that i still look at the world through the eyes of a scared, needy child, not through the eyes of an adult. it seemed so easy at first, but now it seems so hard. how does one go about changing this. it wasn't enough to keep it up front on my mind when ever i was in a situation, like at work, i still hid from the others so i didn't have to sit alone, which is what i do cause i am so shy and self-conscious. i don't want to be like this any more. i want so much to be apart of things, not "a part" of things. in my mind i see me talking and laughing and indulging in conversation with others, going places willingly, doing things others in joy instead of hiding at home. i can't seem to break myself of this, all though i can see myself doing it when it comes right down to it i don't seem to know how. how can i break free of this other me so the other me can shine through? i'm so desperate.

[Tony T]

Let me begin by advising you that the Love Forum is probably the wrong venue for receiving ongoing expertise in areas of psychological counselling for a dysfunction not related to love problems. Though I am happy to oblige, I think the webmaster will consider this topic to be improper for the forum.

 

I strongly urge you to see a highly competent therapist for help. You have identified the cause of your problem and you are well on your way to recovery.

 

You have spent nearly 40 years internalizing. It would be insane to believe you could quickly cure yourself in a day or even a week or a month. You must take baby steps. Never, ever be discouraged. Just keep moving forward. You did not read my previous posts very carefully or you would have seen that I recommended taking this minute by minute, hour by hour, etc.

 

What you are attempting to do is not easy. You are just as addicted to this unconscious defense mechanism as an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol. You have to slowly wean yourself from this inappropriate behavior that served you so well, and maybe even saved your sanity, when you were a child. It not longer serves you and as its master you must dismiss it.

 

Giving up a behavior that is so engrained in the psyche is a scary thing. You may even feel a bit anxious as you make attempts to take yourself out of your inner shell and accustom yourself to outward full time reality. Be kind and patient with yourself. The process could take months...maybe years to fully complete. But as you progress, you will feel better and better.

 

It would be very dangerous for me or anyone to recommend a medical or psychological regimen for you without a complete physical and psychological evaluation. That's why seeking ongoing information about such a critical topic is not appropriate here.

 

I hope my initial post gave you enough information to move on with. I still think I was on target with the root cause of your internalizing but you are the one who will have to obtain the techniques to move yourself from this point.

 

Perhaps there are some real time talk forums on the Internet with trained psychologists who can help you. But I don't advise you posting here for specialized information about such a very important aspect of your recovery.

 

I will be thinking about you and I do hope your new life continues in a very positive direction.

 

I leave you with a quote from "Jonathon Livingston Seagull" by Richard Bach: "Your whole body is nothing more than your mind in a form you can see. Break away the chains that bind your mind...and you break away the chains that bind your body too."

 

Only you can break those chains. Good luck!!!

 

I also want to relate a bumper sticker I once saw. It said: "Reality is for people who can't deal with drugs."

[sara]

tony, you are right, this is the wrong place for my place. you are just so informational that i forgot myself. i have printed all your responses to me and i am going to get that printed postcard size so that i can keep them with me for inspiration...again, thank you so much. your last post helped me to realize again what you said earlier about taking it minute by minute and taking baby steps. i will be more kind to myself and do just that. thank you so much tony, you are truly a very insightful person...did you get the lotto numbers?

 

et me begin by advising you that the Love

Forum is probably the wrong venue for receiving ongoing expertise in areas of psychological counselling for a dysfunction not related to love problems. Though I am happy to oblige, I think the webmaster will consider this topic to be improper for the forum. I strongly urge you to see a highly competent therapist for help. You have identified the cause of your problem and you are well on your way to recovery. You have spent nearly 40 years internalizing. It would be insane to believe you could quickly cure yourself in a day or even a week or a month. You must take baby steps. Never, ever be discouraged. Just keep moving forward. You did not read my previous posts very carefully or you would have seen that I recommended taking this minute by minute, hour by hour, etc. What you are attempting to do is not easy. You are just as addicted to this unconscious defense mechanism as an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol. You have to slowly wean yourself from this inappropriate behavior that served you so well, and maybe even saved your sanity, when you were a child. It not longer serves you and as its master you must dismiss it. Giving up a behavior that is so engrained in the psyche is a scary thing. You may even feel a bit anxious as you make attempts to take yourself out of your inner shell and accustom yourself to outward full time reality. Be kind and patient with yourself. The process could take months...maybe years to fully complete. But as you progress, you will feel better and better. It would be very dangerous for me or anyone to recommend a medical or psychological regimen for you without a complete physical and psychological evaluation. That's why seeking ongoing information about such a critical topic is not appropriate here. I hope my initial post gave you enough information to move on with. I still think I was on target with the root cause of your internalizing but you are the one who will have to obtain the techniques to move yourself from this point. Perhaps there are some real time talk forums on the Internet with trained psychologists who can help you. But I don't advise you posting here for specialized information about such a very important aspect of your recovery. I will be thinking about you and I do hope your new life continues in a very positive direction.

 

I leave you with a quote from "Jonathon Livingston Seagull" by Richard Bach: "Your whole body is nothing more than your mind in a form you can see. Break away the chains that bind your mind...and you break away the chains that bind your body too." Only you can break those chains. Good luck!!!

 

I also want to relate a bumper sticker I once saw. It said: "Reality is for people who can't deal with drugs."

[Tony T]

did you get the lotto numbers?

 

Yes, got the lotto numbers and I am very grateful. If I win the $50 million, I promise you I will get you a new set of tires for your car!!!

 

Wish me luck.

[LoveAngel]

As a note, all psychological discussions have always been and continue to be whole-heartedly welcome on this forum. Our new system will have a number of "topic" forums, one of which will be suited for general psychological counsel. Please feel free to continue this thread. If you behave badly, I'll let you know. (wink)

 

Best wishes,

 

LoveAngel

tony, you are right, this is the wrong place for my place. you are just so informational that i forgot myself. i have printed all your responses to me and i am going to get that printed postcard size so that i can keep them with me for inspiration...again, thank you so much. your last post helped me to realize again what you said earlier about taking it minute by minute and taking baby steps. i will be more kind to myself and do just that. thank you so much tony, you are truly a very insightful person...did you get the lotto numbers? et me begin by advising you that the Love