jessbabe334 Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Hi, I'm Jess... Im 17 and i started an internship at an architecture firm a few months ago. My boss, who's in his mid to late twenties and who happens to be very good looking has been flirting with me. I've been flirting back too. Whenever I've worn something skimpy to work he has complimented me. My problem is that he wants to have sex with me, and i want to too, partly because he's so good looking and charming, but mostly because I dont want to get fired. Does this make me a whore? Should i do it with him? If i do, how can i say yes without making myself look bad. Plz give me your advice Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Do you seriously have to ask? Never EVER do anything like this. This is total sexual harrassment. If you fear your job if you don't nail him, tell someone above him. There HAS to be someone above him. Get HIM fired. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Do not have sex with him cause you are afraid to get fired, thats what he wants. You are not a whore, but you need to respect your body better. and what kevin said Link to post Share on other sites
C.Celine.C Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 It is perfectly normal to want to sleep with a charming good looking man. But when it comes to your boss or anyone you have business with for that matter, you should understand the risks at hand. In this case there are major risks. You could lose your job like you said. I don't think you should have led him on in the beginning, but now you have to do something about it. Either sleep with him and accept the consequences, or be strong and tell him how you are sorry for ever leading him on. Kevin is right, and not only because he is Very hot! Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 If you were eighteen, and he slept with you, he'd be a power-abusing jackass who needed to be civilly pursued. But you're seventeen. That would make him a power-abusing jackass who needed to be criminally pursued. Run. Fast. Link to post Share on other sites
A Thought Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Hello Jess, I know that it is extremely intoxicating to have a good-looking, charming man commenting on your appearance and making you feel like you are important, but this man is using his position in an inappropriate way. Sexual harassment is a power relationship, and lets face it in the work place this man has power. He is using you, although it may not seem like it...he is. You're hot and you are working there for a short time (internship) which means that he can have some fun and then you leave and wa-la no commitment required. Please be careful and as previous posters stated DO NOT put up with it and DO NOT diminish the respect you have for yourself by doing something that you might regret later on in your life. If he really is interested in you, he can take the time to get to know you. Although, if you are 17 and he is well into his 20's....well....as far as I am aware that is not legal. Go to google and type in: Sexual Harassment, there is some great information available on what it is and how to deal with it. Some questions to consider are: 1. Would you put up with his behavior if he were on the same level or a subordinate of yours in the work force? (i.e. if he also had an internship, would you be flirting with and thinking about him in this manner?) 2. Would you consider having sex with him if you did not fear losing your internship because of it? Please be careful and weigh this decision carefully! Also, see if there is any way you can document (tape record) or something a conversation where you feel that sex is being suggested/offered because if you take it to a higher up, and accuse him of sexual harassment you don't just want it to be a he said/she said situation. Best wishes as you decide what to do! ~Lydia Link to post Share on other sites
Helpme2004 Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 No dont sleep with him just cause hes charming and good looking and you dont want to get fired because if you do sleep with him thats a good way to get fired.think about it your 17 you have your whole life ahead of you. Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 So you're young, and you obviously have a lot to learn. Classy gals, starting out in a new career don't flirt with their boss, nor do they wear skimpy clothes to work knowing full well that their boss wants to screw them. Do you want to get a bad reputation which could come back to bite you in the ass in the future (career-wise)? Do you want to be known for your talent as a budding architect, or do you want to be known as being a tramp? of course you don't sleep with your boss, that's a no-brainer. By virtue of the fact that you're taking the time to ask the question, that should tell you that somewhere inside you know it's not right. Geez,you've obviously worked hard to get where you are.....you want to start off a new career acting like an easy tramp who can't conduct herself professionally? Wake up and smell the coffee. Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Hint: Charming and good looking guys in their 20's that hit on 17 year old girls are scum bags. Don't do anything with him, I really think you will have a lot of regret about this later on. Go talk to the HR person and cover your ass. Let them know what is going on and how you feel about this. Believe me, any decent company would want to know about this kind of unacceptable behavior from one of their employees. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Well, you do have a choice here. Be the temporary plaything of a user, or be a person with self-respect. You know, bosses have a lot of power. This guy could use his looks and charm to make a play on women his own age outside the workplace, and I am sure he is actively doing that. But he'd also like something easy and convenient - someone handy for a BJ at work and easy to push around because she is young and naive. How about telling your parents what is going on? You're a minor - you need protection from dangers like this. Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 AND....even if he claims he won't tell anyone, a guy like that is going to brag to everyone that he bagged the hot 17 year old babe. DON'T DO IT. This happened to me when I was young - although the person was a coworker not in a position of power - and he told everyone. I couldn't believe it. They even knew what nights we got together and all. It was so humiliating. And I'm sure that to this day what people there would remember about me is that situation, not what kind of work I did. Link to post Share on other sites
will_woman Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Jess...Please clear your mind...do not be confused. Do not do anything that haunt you for the whole life. Or you feel regretful for life. You are still so young....not worth...totally not worth to pay such a price if you really sleep with him. Talk to your parents about it... Link to post Share on other sites
loverhersomuch Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 There's an old saying: "Never get your meat where you get your bread." These kinds of stories rarely have happy endings. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 And I'm sure that to this day what people there would remember about me is that situation, not what kind of work I did bingo -- Jess, if you are serious about getting into this kind of profession, clean up your act. Start dressing and acting responsibly, otherwise you're forever going to carry around the reputation of being "that easy intern," whether you mean to be seen that way or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 I agree with the others. Not a good idea at all! Link to post Share on other sites
Wounded Unicorn Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 I am not perfect in any way, but where someone else is concerned I can GIVE good advice and have a VERY Valid point. First off he is your boss, after he gets what he wants he's liable to fire you anyways. And secondly, if you want to be taken seriously as a professional woman you should have more respect for yourself. Do you really want to be the butt of the jokes that everyone is telling at the water cooler the next day? Also, I agree w/ Kevin & Dyer. And C.Celine.C.C. I definately agree with you (Kevin is VERY HOT!) Good luck Jess Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 There is a legal age problem here. Are you considering dating him or *gasp* is he married??? Also...ALL guys are nice and complimentary while they are horny! It's 'after the fact' that they can change on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jessbabe334 Posted February 12, 2004 Author Share Posted February 12, 2004 After having a good long talk with my boss I came to the conclusion that he wasn't taking advantage of his position, and wasn't trying to pressure me into anything. The more i think about it, the more it seems that i over-reacted about the whole situation. My question is...now that i know he's not pressuring me or anything, should i go through with him? He's very charming and sexy and ive always wanted to be with an older man (he still doesn't know my age any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 12, 2004 Share Posted February 12, 2004 No, its not right. Maybe when you are few years older, then you can have an older man, but you should not sleep with your boss anyway, it can have big repercussions. Also you are under age and even if he doesn't know he can still go to jail. Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 Originally posted by jessbabe334 After having a good long talk with my boss I came to the conclusion that he wasn't taking advantage of his position, and wasn't trying to pressure me into anything. The more i think about it, the more it seems that i over-reacted about the whole situation. My question is...now that i know he's not pressuring me or anything, should i go through with him? He's very charming and sexy and ive always wanted to be with an older man (he still doesn't know my age any advice? After reading THIS response, I have to wonder if you're not just someone posting here to stir things up?? If you're sincere, and based on your recent post above, after all the responses you received, did you even bother to READ the advice you were given? 1) he still doesn't know your age? HELLO? Of course he does, he's your boss for crying out loud. Surely your age would be on your resume or application form or some other type of benefits or whatever paperwork you'd have had to fill out when you applied for/got the job. Of course he has access to this info. Of course he knows your name. 2) Are you for real? Link to post Share on other sites
longlegzs80 Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 Okay, I have to be blunt with you. Lets say you start sleeping with the boss and people at work start to find out. You will get a bad reputation at your job and I don't think you want to blow it at this job, but think about the consequences as to other people in the office finding out. Too, don't degrate yourself just because you don't want to loose this internship. Nothing is worth it, especially if it comes down to the boss wanting to sleep with you. Now, I am not familair with the office settings and what have you, but conduct yourself as a well respected women. Having sex with your boss is too risky and not professional and just overall not worth it when it comes to risking your job. Please consider that you have so much value then that and doing anything like sex or having a relationship with your boss or any coworker can jepordize your job. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 I suppose you didn't have to provide ID when you applied for the job? Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 My recent post should have read "of course he knows your age" (NOT "of course he knows your name." God, I had a long day! LOL) Link to post Share on other sites
loverhersomuch Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 If it's an internship it is probably temporary, right? Assuming you don't get hired for full-time employment, wait to date him after the internship is over. As someone else mentioned, but looking at it from another angle, your boss could also be at risk of losing his job if his superiors find out, which could really hurt his long-term career plans. The company is also put at risk, if they do find out and don't fire him, for condoning sexual harassment, which means everyone else that works at the company (and their families) is at risk. Are either of those possibilities something you would want on your conscience for the rest of your life? The bottom-line is that sleeping with a superior is one of the dumbest moves a person can make in their life. Link to post Share on other sites
SugarBitch Posted February 14, 2004 Share Posted February 14, 2004 I'd **** his brains out honey. Link to post Share on other sites
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