how to get girls at bars while drunk, what to talk about?

[Mikki Mars]

so I am 21, I live in NYC, and I go to bars alone hoping to pick up girls. What should I talk about to them? Like I've asked things like "where are you from," and I recently tried pretending to have "just graduated" because not a lot of girls who go to them are in college currently. All I want is at least a hookup, a number, or a one night stand in best hopes. I tried buying shots for a girl, me, and her friend but it didn't work, they had to "be right back," which I now know is a rejection. Or is this simply hit or miss, like try having a convo, and luck will determine if I get with the girl, its just that I can't keep spending money on more drinks, because going alone, its mad awkward and obvious when I talk to girls that I want them.

 

Like tonight a girl and I talked for 25 mins, and when I tried telling her she was cute after 25 mins, she and her friend left and she said "we'll be right back." The shots thing with the other girl and her friend didn't work. Remember I'm 5'1'' tall male(tho I tell people I'm 5'3''.) Its just that during the day when I try to pick up girls in places that aren't bars its hard, and I get a number once every few weeks, and the most recent case you can see she blew me off.

 

How do I get a one night stand or hookup at a bar?

[Mikki Mars]

so?? I need answers, I don't go back to school for a month, and I don't wanna be a living virgin anymore.

[Shakz]

I really don't know what to tell you MikkiMars, since your success rate at bar hookups is higher than mine, and I'm 6-1. Maybe you could go with a friend instead of alone, if only to split your tab and be sure you had a few laughs. I've foun that when I go to a bar alone specifically to meet women I feel a little desparate, and women are scarily adept at picking up on that. But when I go with a friend I'm much more relaxed and things seem to happen more easily, maybe because I'm giving off a different vibe.

[bananaboat11]

"Hey there, you new around town? Don't see you here very often."

 

She responds... blah blah blah

 

"Really? Where are you originally from?"

 

She responds...

 

"What do you do?"

 

She responds...

 

"That's exciting (make corny joke here if you can - get her to laugh)..."

 

She asks you about what you do...

 

"(Have fun with your response, unless you're considering seriously pursuing her)"

 

heh

[Art_Critic]

Show them your penis.....

[Shakz]

Show them your penis.....

 

:lmao:Once again, AC comes up with the obvious answer. I would add a little creativity to it:

 

"First step: Cut a hole in the box..."

[Art_Critic]

"First step: Cut a hole in the box..."

 

That's even better...

 

Nothing's better to get women at a bar than showing them your penis while it's in a Tiffany's Box

I think I just one up'd Justin...

[tman666]

so?? I need answers, I don't go back to school for a month, and I don't wanna be a living virgin anymore.

 

 

Why not just get a hooker? If your only goal is to de-virginize yourself, you might as well pay a hooker. At least then you won't be taking advantage of someone. Business transaction. Badda bing, badda boom.

 

If you're looking for actual romance, buying a girl drinks and telling her she's cute isn't going to work on anyone who is not an actual bona fide prostitute, unless you're Brad Pitt.

 

Personally, I think that taking advantage of a girl's altered state is deplorable. Depending on your local laws, it could be construed as rape. I would seriously consider taking a different approach.

[Mikki Mars]

Why not just get a hooker? If your only goal is to de-virginize yourself, you might as well pay a hooker. At least then you won't be taking advantage of someone. Business transaction. Badda bing, badda boom.

 

If you're looking for actual romance, buying a girl drinks and telling her she's cute isn't going to work on anyone who is not an actual bona fide prostitute, unless you're Brad Pitt.

 

Personally, I think that taking advantage of a girl's altered state is deplorable. Depending on your local laws, it could be construed as rape. I would seriously consider taking a different approach.

its not an accomplishment to pay for sex, nor does it feel good. I've on three previous occasions paid for sex acts, and my boner is weak, and I feel like **** afterwards, as it murders my self-esteem. My goal isn't only to devirginize myself, but to feel validated, like I can have something that others don't to the girl, or that I've made myself special in some way.

[stuck with eharmony]

Eye contact, smile, confidence. Its not going to matter what you say but how you say it. If she's interested she will respond.

[jstalltxga]

My best advice is don't get to hung up on it. the first time I ever was with a girl was totally random, but it was with someone I knew (thank you to whoever created boxed wine). Bars are terrible places to meet women, much less people in general. It's hard man, it really is, and it doesn't really get easier with age. save yourself a lot of time, and money! make friends with women, if they like you maybe they will set you up with a friend. guys you meet who are so called 'studs' and hook up with a lot of girls at frat partys and bars are shallow scumf***s, and really you don't need to follow their lead. and I hate to say this, but most of the time girls who flirt with guys are simply looking for attention and free drinks. I once had a romate who would flirt with gay guys to get free ****, and then be like 'oh im going to hang with my girlfriend now, thanks for the free sh*t'. don't get used.

[GordonDarkfoot]

so I am 21, I live in NYC, and I go to bars alone hoping to pick up girls. What should I talk about to them? Like I've asked things like "where are you from," and I recently tried pretending to have "just graduated" because not a lot of girls who go to them are in college currently. All I want is at least a hookup, a number, or a one night stand in best hopes. I tried buying shots for a girl, me, and her friend but it didn't work, they had to "be right back," which I now know is a rejection. Or is this simply hit or miss, like try having a convo, and luck will determine if I get with the girl, its just that I can't keep spending money on more drinks, because going alone, its mad awkward and obvious when I talk to girls that I want them.

 

Like tonight a girl and I talked for 25 mins, and when I tried telling her she was cute after 25 mins, she and her friend left and she said "we'll be right back." The shots thing with the other girl and her friend didn't work. Remember I'm 5'1'' tall male(tho I tell people I'm 5'3''.) Its just that during the day when I try to pick up girls in places that aren't bars its hard, and I get a number once every few weeks, and the most recent case you can see she blew me off.

 

How do I get a one night stand or hookup at a bar?

 

 

My sympathies dude.

 

NYC women can be cynical and harsh, it's the big city after all.

 

My suggestion is change up your target zone.

 

Shoot for some cougars in their 30's or 40's. Seriously. Women who are established and not just suckering guys to get free drinks. Women who will actually "get off" on having sex with a considerably younger dude.

 

Hopefully even though you're vertically challenged, you're in decent shape. If not work out as much as possible and get that six pack if you don't have it already. Remember most people don't f*ck standing up.

[Sophia8]

In NYC there are so many men of course it is going to be more difficult to gain a woman's attention. There's only so many times that a woman can hear "I haven't seen you around here before, are you new in town" or "has anyone ever told you how beautiful you look" to which she is thinking only the last 15 men, or my personal favourite "did you know that you could be a model".

 

I'm not into one night stands, so the following for me led to relationships but I'm sure you could try it for a one night stand. You need to stand out from the crowd, be completely different from the last 15 guys that have tried the "typical" chat up lines and failed, have confidence and whatever you do, do not come across as desperate. I was in a bar (club) once with a friend and this guy came and sat next to me, didn't say anything he was waiting for his friend and had two drinks in his hands. After 10 minutes he said "Excuse me, could you hold this drink for me a minute please", which I did and he got out his phone to send a message. When I gave back his drink, again after a few minutes, then he started talking to me. This worked for me because he was completely different to all the other guys, used none of the normal chat up lines, came across confident, calm not desperate.

 

Anyway the real trick, or validation as you put it, comes from being able to keep a woman!

[molimo140]

This thread is pretty funny to me.

 

At any rate - I heard this line a while ago, guess it can't hurt you.

 

"Hey, my friends over there just bet me I couldn't start a conversation with the hottest girl in here. Wanna grab some drinks with their cash?"

[Blade Runner]

One thing you have to realize is stuff like "You're cute" is more or less useless unless they are attracted to you in the first place. A good looking girl will be complimented so many times in one night in a club, so don't be a statistic. You may be an interesting guy but if you approach with "you're cute", you may as well just walk away then and there. Sure, it might work, as I say, if she's attracted to you. But it's not the best way to go.

 

The advice in this thread is great -- it's not so much what you say (as long as you don't just compliment), it's how you say it, and also I liked the point about not getting hung up. It's fun. Laugh it off. You'll probably never talk/see/be near these people again. Don't talk about jobs, work, college. It's boring, and they've been asked twenty thousand times already. Don't be that guy. Unless you're Johnny Depp, and you want to know about her college grades. In which case it wouldn't matter. But you're not, and you need to work with what you've got.

 

I had a friend who liked going to bars etc a lot, he was very successful. He'd just walk around, say hello in a curious manner, as if he was just chilling, had somewhere else to be. Not a "Okay I'm gonna approach her" but a kind of casual walk by, and then he'd stop and say something as if he was gonna go somewhere else but at the last second decided to talk to this girl. The thing with this guy though, is that was the way his mind worked -- and that's why it was so good. He didn't anaylize the situation. He didn't get worked up or think. He'd just do it, at a split seconds notice. It wasn't fake.. This is why it is SO important to work on yourself first - to the point where you're happy with what you want, you're not going to let people step over that. A lot of "PUA" and "dating" books say to do a lot of stuff, like be confident, blah blah. But this stuff cannot be faked. You can't just "act confident" and expect it to work well. You have to be confident. Become who you want to be first, then it's a walk in the park.

 

Never once did I catch him in a serious conversation. And girls were all over him. Because he didn't compliment, he didn't talk about work, jobs, or anything. That's what plenty of other guys who hit on them do - so don't do that. He'd say stuff like "I'm robbing a bank in 20 minutes. Wanna come?" which of course would lead to conversations with semi-drunk girls who would ask alll kinds of questions about the robbery and what he would wear and blah blah. (Obviously don't open with this line, say hello, establish contact first. And don't use lines. Say something from your own heart. A joke, a situation, anything that comes natural toYOU) He'd just make up some obviously false situation but the girl's drunk, he's drunk, it would lead to a big conversation about absolutely nothing. Which is the key. He would still remain this mysterious, interesting, kind of odd in a hot way guy - and she would be giving up all these details about herself.

 

Another thing is opinions. Controversy. Girls love to give their opinions about stuff. Not like "What music do you like", because that's been asked, but something they can really dig into, maybe you have a friend who bought this ridiculous coat and you want to know what they think about it. Maybe you want to know what they think about Mel Gibson and his glorious audio tapes - Whatever. Anything to get things going.

 

Bottom line - any chance to make eye contact, raise a situation and let her ask heaps of queations. If it's not working, you walk away. Remember - you've got better places to be, better things to do, you're just having fun, that's it. Tell yourself that. Act as the person you want to become.

 

That's just one way. Really all there is to it is be fun, friendly, interesting and confident. If you're not, work on yourself first. You can't fake any of these things well. You get rejected by one girl, you laugh it off and move on to the next. That's why it helps to have a friend there to help you do just that.

 

By the way, I don't think buying girls drinks is a good idea. Other guys do that. If it's a pretty girl, she's already been offered a drink before you approach her. Why buy her a drink? It's not going to make her attracted to you at all. It's not going to make you seem like an interesting guy. It's barely going to make you seem like a sweet guy because every douchebag and their friend buys girls drinks.

 

Go into the bar with the intention of having fun, playing around, nothing more. Don't walk in with the hopes of getting kissed, laid, or a girlfriend. If you have those expectations, you will be dissapointed everytime you get rejected, and by the end of the night you'll feel like crap. Go in, and have fun. That's it. If you meet a girl, you meet a girl, if you don't, you don't, try again!

 

They even turned down the Beatles initially. So don't be discouraged. It takes time.

 

Good luck.

Edited August 4, 2010 by Blade Runner

[Teacher's Pet]

I found the best way to approach women is with an ether-soaked handkerchief, but that's just me.

 

-TP

***the opinions of Teacher's Pet are in no way endorsed by LoveShack, it's owners, moderators, or financiers.... please do your own due diligence before taking Teacher's Pet advice, and always observe local laws***

[RickG]

Man I agree with alot of these comments, You cannot go to a bar alone you have to go with friends the more the better the reason is because girls go to clubs to have fun and if you have a fun crowd with you they will more likely hang with you most girls will go were "THE PARTY IS" but if your just one guy alone looking to get laid they can read that and take your drinks and run! hell I know girls that go to clubs with NO MONEY because they know there are alot of guy like you that will buy them drink's and they walk out of the club drunk or buzzed and did not pay a penny for it! when you start pushing drinks on woman they know you just want them to get drunk you can get laid. try being cool with them, just relax and be natural with them and see how they react to that and dont push drinks on them! have good conversation and the more you keep having good conversation the more you both drink and the better the conversation gets one thing will lead to another and you will wake up naked in bed with her lmao this is crazy! OH YEAH and be fun Dance with them and BE FUNNY! make them laugh most woman like a man that can make them laugh and show them a good time and not act like a dog in heat! GOOD LUCK BRO!

Edited August 4, 2010 by RickG

[2sure]

Sigh.

 

Do not bother going to the bar until one hour before closing on a friday or saturday night.

[whatadeer26]

You can't gop to bars alone and expect to take a girl home. You need someone to take care of the D.F.F. (Designated Fat Friend).

 

You look creepy going to a bar alone and talking to chicks. You need someone to keep her friend occupied. If the friend is bored she will mess your sh*t up.

 

For 1 night stands, lie your a$$ off. Act the part you think they want. Make sure you have backup if they actually know a thing or 2 about your made up life though.

 

Finally, it is hard to do. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to do it.

[Feelin Frisky]

so I am 21, I live in NYC, and I go to bars alone hoping to pick up girls. What should I talk about to them? Like I've asked things like "where are you from," and I recently tried pretending to have "just graduated" because not a lot of girls who go to them are in college currently. All I want is at least a hookup, a number, or a one night stand in best hopes. I tried buying shots for a girl, me, and her friend but it didn't work, they had to "be right back," which I now know is a rejection. Or is this simply hit or miss, like try having a convo, and luck will determine if I get with the girl, its just that I can't keep spending money on more drinks, because going alone, its mad awkward and obvious when I talk to girls that I want them.

 

Like tonight a girl and I talked for 25 mins, and when I tried telling her she was cute after 25 mins, she and her friend left and she said "we'll be right back." The shots thing with the other girl and her friend didn't work. Remember I'm 5'1'' tall male(tho I tell people I'm 5'3''.) Its just that during the day when I try to pick up girls in places that aren't bars its hard, and I get a number once every few weeks, and the most recent case you can see she blew me off.

 

How do I get a one night stand or hookup at a bar?

 

I've always wondered how it's done. I find it hard being anyone but my genuine self and my genuine self does not put on "fronts" or start mindless small talk convos. I'm 6'2" barefoot and more than twice your age btw and have very few successes in that bar situation. I have never really changed personalities by consuming alcohol.

 

Some things that have happened in bars for me is seeing a girl that looks like she really doesn't belong there and is looking kind of neglected. This makes it kinda easy for me to say Hi and tell her my first name. Then I'd tell her she looks like she's being neglected. If she doesn't tell me her boyfriend is outside smoking weed or is in the men's room or what have you, and if she's attractive, I'd tell her she's much too pretty to be neglected. I'd run out of shi+ to say and if other people are dancing to a band or loud music I just ask her if she wants to dance. Some have gone for it with me, others are too introverted or not feeling their spirits.

 

But all in all, I would advise continuing your education even if you have to work a day job to pay your student loans. Night schools are places to meet a better class of ladies and have lots more than the weather or where you're from to talk about. If you live in a big city where people take busses or subways home, the opportunity to "walk" with someone to the subway and just be yourself can be a way of connecting.

 

Don't get hung up on "being devirginized". Nailing some alcohol-addled bar pass-around girl is about as cheap as the buying a hooker and doesn't really count down deep as a measure of anything more than desperation. Be someone to sober people and you'll find or be found over the next few years and you'll be able to "count" it.