Ninja Extrordinaire Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Hiya! I just got off the phone with my "I don't know what the hell is wrong with her" girlfriend. We've been dating steady for about 3 months. She just said she's not sure about what to do about us based on the fact that there are some things with me she just REALLY cannot stand. Examples: 1) She made me breakfast yesterday (which I told her was really sweet) and when she asked how my eggs were (I asked her for overeasy but didn't care) I said they were overcooked a bit but didn't really care cuz they still tasted good. 2) I chew sometimes with my mouth open, and when I was out with her and her sister, she was APALLED that her sister noticed me eating with my mouth open. She also mentioned that If I met her mother and she noticed me doing that she would hate me right on the spot. So. We talked about it, and I told her these things are just habits and if ya just maybe give me a little "Reminder" if I'm doing them, I will stop doing them. Habits can be broken. Yet me being the easy going indivdual I am I told her there are things about her that bother me, but yet I'm not about to end a relationship based on some stupid habits. I understand how much they bother her, and told her I would try not to do them...sounds simple? Yet she still doesn' know. So I told her to think about what she wants and I'll talk to her tommorow, because tonights conversation is going nowhere. I'm more angry about how ABSOLUTELY RETARD THIS IS and came close to breaking up with her for just being so angry about a couple of habits. I know how compulsive some ppl can be and if she is one of them than i suspect our relationship won't last a day or two more. Yet she says she loves me? I have NO CLUE what the hell is wrong with this girl. I just want to know if anyone else finds this kind of........weird. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 It's not the little things, Ninja, it's the issues behind them. If a girl doesn't want a relationship, one way of escaping it is amplifying little things, to somehow justify her desires to leave you. Let this one have some time to her self, and if she decides that your kitchen ettiquette is too much, don't take it personal. Just let her go away, and chew with your mouth closed in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ninja Extrordinaire Posted February 10, 2004 Author Share Posted February 10, 2004 Well, if she wants to leave me why doesn't she just come out and say it? Why does she have to feel as if she has to justify it? I told her plain and simple if she wants to leave than say so. I also stated to her that if she has too much going on, maybe we shouldn't see eachother for a while, and to that she said she doesn't want to do that. Should I just bite the bullet and end it for her since she is having a difficult time with it? I do know that she has a LOT of other stuff going on, and I try to be as supportive as I can with her, but that's about all I can offer. Damn. I was so content being single too when I met this girl. But Im never one to back away from seeing how things go, good or bad. Link to post Share on other sites
niko1999 Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 You just said you considered breaking up with her. Well, maybe she is unable to break up with you, and is trying to make it so you break up with her. Back when my boyfreind and I were having MAJOR problems about a year ago, he later told me he acted like an a$s to get me to break up with him. I didnt, and 18 months later, were happily ever after. Sometimes you just go through little spots in your life, in your relationship. But if I were you, I would talk to her and ask her what SHE wants. Link to post Share on other sites
JetScooterSteve Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 niko is right, it really doesnt matter what is happening cus we think that she wants to break up with you and you have considered it. but until then, some girls like a man for being a gentlemen, with good manners and less bad habits. But this can be fixed, and i think you already know how Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker It's not the little things, Ninja, it's the issues behind them. If a girl doesn't want a relationship, one way of escaping it is amplifying little things, to somehow justify her desires to leave you. Let this one have some time to her self, and if she decides that your kitchen ettiquette is too much, don't take it personal. Just let her go away, and chew with your mouth closed in the future. I had never thought of this really until you mentioned it, dyermaker. It makes perfect sense. Sadly I have done this a few times myself, which isn't fair. I prefer to try to be honest in everything as that is how I wish to be treated by others. The deeper reasoning had, and would have continued to escape me until you mentioned it here. Now it's sunken in and I'm grateful for stepping away with more knowledge than I had before. And in reply to the actual original post: I suppose that if such things bother her so horribly you can only do your best to change. If she is using these as excuses for something more underlying then perhaps she is not the type of person you want to be spending your time with. If she is truly honest, and she is repelled by your little habits, then either she can learn to live with them, or you can accommodate and try to kick them, which you have so generously offered to do for her. Link to post Share on other sites
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