MJEW Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 My question is this....... I am suppose to be attending a wedding next Saturday for my Uncle, I am pretty excited to get out with my family and friends and have some good old fashion-much needed fun. Here lies one issue....my ex husband is attending with his g-friend.My ex and my family have stayed in contact all these years and has always been good friends with my uncle and his partner. My ex and her have been dating for sometime, I have met her ( nice lady), but I have never seen them together like this before. What do I do? How do I act? I am really nervous about my reaction about seeing him with someone else. Help please any suggestions would be grateful. Link to post Share on other sites
spriggig Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Prepare. Imagine every possible, ridiculous, horrible chain of events and then have a basic plan for dealing with it. Then, whatever does happen, at least you won't be surprised. Visualize the most likely, disturbing scenarios as vividly as you can to desensitize yourself somewhat before it happens. Get plenty of sleep leading up to the big day. Get extra sleep now if you feel sleep may be a problem the night before. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MJEW Posted July 26, 2010 Author Share Posted July 26, 2010 Prepare. Imagine every possible, ridiculous, horrible chain of events and then have a basic plan for dealing with it. Then, whatever does happen, at least you won't be surprised. QUOTE] Thanks spriggig....that made me laugh, I picture him spilling a drink on her and her freaking out lol....I guess I'll just walk in and do my thing for the wedding party, I am the MC, I have to tell some stories about my uncle, problem is the stories I come up with involve my ex and I and them together...can't talk about that kind of stuff cause I'll loose it. I think I'll just hold my head high and be polite, but it's just weird I guess. never thought I'd be in this predicament! Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Remember it's about the two getting married. I don't know if this will help, but when my son graduated I took my G/F & the former wife saw us together. After graduation when everyone was taking pictures my former wife came up to my G/F & introduced herself as my son's mother. That was all that was said; my G/F asked if they wanted a picture together since she was the one with the fancy camera, took a couple pictures and that was it.... I'm not saying you have to do that, just remember why you are there. I'm sure whatever horror story you think of, it won't be near that bad. We seem to always make things out worse then they are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MJEW Posted July 26, 2010 Author Share Posted July 26, 2010 I'm sure whatever horror story you think of, it won't be near that bad. We seem to always make things out worse then they are. You are right about that, funny the way our minds work. You work yourself into a frenzy with a million and one thoughts of the worst things imaginable and then it turns out to be ok. I think I'll just hold my head high and be polite, then when they leave at the reception ( cause they prob won't stay late ), I'll dance myself silly and have no worries. At least I hope that's how it works out Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 How long has your ex been your ex? Sure it might be weird, but remember he's moved on and is happy. Just be nice, casual and keep conversation sweet and light. It's not like you have to hang out with them all night.. Are you bringing a date? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MJEW Posted July 26, 2010 Author Share Posted July 26, 2010 How long has your ex been your ex? Sure it might be weird, but remember he's moved on and is happy. Just be nice, casual and keep conversation sweet and light. It's not like you have to hang out with them all night.. Are you bringing a date? Divorced since 2008.... but never stopped loving him wwisup... No date, I am not in a relationship with anyone, it will be our kids, our little guy is in the wedding party with me, oldest one will be sitting in the audience prob not with him and current g-friend though, I can't see that happening. I have met her before as our son and her kids go to the same karate school. Nice woman, always been polite to her, just going to be odd seeing him on the arm of a woman, never saw that before, as when I was dating someone, he never saw us together either as a couple ( at least as far as I know he hasn't). It shouldn't bother me, we've been ex's for sometime, and he has been with her for almost 2 years, but there is a little piece inside of me that will always regret, always wonder, I will always have that tug on the heart strings when it comes to him, I always have I am prob. blowing this out of proportion and i'm over reacting, i'm just so nervous, my family knows it too, they keep telling me to just smile and have a good time. maybe I can just get horse blinders for when Im walking down the isle in front of the bride to prevent me from looking left or right...LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MJEW Posted August 4, 2010 Author Share Posted August 4, 2010 Just thought I'd give an update on the wedding..... Well I went....and I had a blast!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes they were there, and yes they sat together and talked bla bla bla...yes I was jealous, but no it didn't show ( at least I don't think it did ). I walked in and boom they were right there, I said " hi guys thanks for coming"...they said hi...we passed each other and that was that. I stood up in the bridal party, that was very hard cause all I thought about was our wedding....but I did it and I couldn't look his way. It's funny because it started to rain after the ceremony and he walked around carrying an umberlla around for her for about an hour...while everyone else got lightly rained on it was like she couldn't get wet....I wanted to tell him "take the pickle out of your ass and be yourself" It looked like he was un comfortable for a bit, fetching drinks for her, then I guess he loosened up with the aid of beer....and I heard him laughing...I love his laugh. Through out the night he mingled alot with my family, and at one point I looked over and I saw the boys and him playing darts, I had to run into the house lock myself in the bathroom and cried my eyes out...that really hurt- to see the 3 of them together like that was very hard because i know that if it wasn't for me and my stupidity, it would always have been that....so I had a mental melt down....dried my face off..and went back outside.... Later in the evening we all sat by the fire and we actually all engaged in conversation...it felt good...it felt right..no discomfort...well at least on my part, a few times his g-friend looked like she was gonna smack him sideways because he was having a good time with my family and laughing... and I even got a hug from him at the end of the night....nothing to it... Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 That wedding will be some of your healing, right there! You had an enjoyable time in his presence, you survived it, and realized that although you are separate now, the good times you shared will always be a part of your life's history. We don't stop loving the people we loved, ever. We always love them as much as we ever did, at it's height. It's not like we have a limited supply of love to give or feel. Once someone has touched you're heart, they're in it forever. This holds true for me anyway, even though others claim they no longer love someone they loved. I don't understand that thinking. The best of times can never be erased, and why would anybody want to? We can choose not to be with them, they can choose not to be with us, but for me, the love never dies. Someone has hurt me, of course. I have hurt someone, of course. It's all in the learning of our paths. Link to post Share on other sites
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