BloodBerry Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Ok since a lot are feeling blue about LDRs ( I do too sometimes ), I thought of starting a thread for us to post positive things about being in a LDRs and why it's worth all the effort. All positives please. We're doing this to make people feel better in this kind of setup. Positives of LDR and why it's worth it. =D Link to post Share on other sites
Enchanted Girl Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 You're not limited to only a small pool of people. You're much more likely to find someone you're compatible with if you don't insist that that person lives by you first before you can even consider them. Also, it's easier, in my opinion, to tell more quickly if you're really compatible with someone or not. You talk to them more and get to know them quicker. The physical aspect of the relationship isn't clouding your judgment as much because you relate to one another mostly through talking. And it's also easier to weed out who's really serious about being with you from who's not serious at all. LDRs take a lot of effort to keep. Someone who just wants some fling isn't going to try really hard to keep you. The relationship with dissolve. Only someone who is serious will put in a bunch of effort into it. You don't waste as much time on the wrong people this way. Link to post Share on other sites
nikayla Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 1. LDRs force you to step outside of your comfort zone and think creatively. The limited communication requires spontaneity and innovation, so LDR couples are less likely to fall into the "getting bored" zone. 2. LDRs require you to make fill your time with outside interests and expand your social horizons. Members of LDRs will not- and cannot- revolve their lives around one another. No one loses and sense of self. 3. LDRs enable you to mull over your options during fights. For example, rather than snapping impulsively over a rude comment, you have the option of rereading an e-mail or message twice and, perhaps, realize that the meaning was simply lost in translation. Also, there are no "you left the toilet seat down, again!" antics. 4. Lastly, the patience for one another is beyond explainable. You cultivate a sense of passion that extends beyond the honeymoon phase. Your willing to pursue your partner in a meaningful way. The longing creates a bond that is truly wonderful, especially during visits. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BloodBerry Posted July 26, 2010 Author Share Posted July 26, 2010 Thanks for the posts! Keep it coming! =D Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 We know each other in a way I've not experienced with anyone before. At one point, before we met, all we had were words. He knows more about me than anyone. We wouldn't have that closeness if we were LD. He is my best friend. I've visited places And met great people I wouldn't have had the chance to before. I've never looked forward to seeing someone so much in my life. And te feeling when I first see him I can't describe. Link to post Share on other sites
lala82 Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 The most beautiful thing of my LDR is when I met my bf again. We had not see each other for 5 months. When we met in the airport both cried. When i met him, my feeling were stronger for him . I started to appreciate more things of our relationship than before. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BloodBerry Posted July 27, 2010 Author Share Posted July 27, 2010 I agree to all of the posts made here. Thanks for sharing. I hope others can post too.. keep it coming =D Link to post Share on other sites
Romance Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 You still get butterflies when you see them, something that goes away for most people in the first few months of a relationship. You learn a lot about the other person, how they're feeling and how they communicate to you through email and texting and during phone calls. It tells you that you're worth fighting for Link to post Share on other sites
Mei Mei Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Positive sides of LRD, 1. It allows each partners to take care of own issues, mainly family, kids or financial etc, before we continue to work out our final togetherness. At meantime, we are the closest partners who break through distance with all means of communication without having much interference to our present livings in our places. 2. We look at the inner qualities prior to the outler ones, that we cherish the inner selves than the actual appearance. 3. Too much cherishing the moments we are together during online or in real, can't imagine having time to fight! We simple never argue over issues, but seek to share feelings, views and to compromise. 4. The love is kept afresh and the romance is regnited from time to time due to the alternative separation and reunionings. 5. I can't imagine I can find my real love out of my nation border! Can't :love: describe how fascinating it is! Link to post Share on other sites
nemi26 Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Hmm i dont know if i can post here cos he lives in same town as me when hes back, but had to go 3 months apart 4 days into the relationship.. so its very tough! but willll be very rewarding in 5 week, butterflies here i come! Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 When I say something cute that he wants to tickle me for he can't. Link to post Share on other sites
carvidep Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 When I say something cute that he wants to tickle me for he can't. bahahaha! yes!!! Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Hmm. Interesting. I would never CHOOSE to be in a LDR. The one I'm in is due to circumstances -- he had to move for a job in his career last year. Personally, I cannot ever feel I know someone well enough to justify a LDR without having lived close to them and spending a lot of time with them in person first. I'm not wasting months or years of my life "dating" someone who I've hardly interacted with except over the phone or Internet. I can tell you firsthand you just CANNOT know someone that well if you don't see them on a personal level day in and day out. I wouldn't marry someone that I couldn't live with first, either. Had I only been dating my bf a few months prior to his move, I wouldn't be with him now. HOWEVER, seeing as I'd dated him off/on for four years and we'd lived together, I know that our connection and love are worth at least trying to work through the distance. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I know he'll work hard to keep our relationship together even when things get almost unbearably hard. We work together as a team, solving our problems together instead of arguing and I know this will be great for our future together. That's one of the positives about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BloodBerry Posted July 27, 2010 Author Share Posted July 27, 2010 Oh yea... One good thing about LDR is, the couple is attracted to each other mentally, emotionally and for some spiritually. Sometimes Physical attraction become a hindrance in seeing the person for who he/she really is. We might think physical attraction is important, it is, but in the end of the day, we should be emotionally and mentally attached to someone more. Love is all about emotions, compromise... being physical attraction is just a bonus. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 You make the most of your time together, more so than where you live together or see each other each week, you also make the most of your time apart, ie we find ways to stay bonded when we're apart, this can be pretty romantic You don't take each other for granted. it's lovely looking forward to seeing them again. And for me it gives me space because I came out of an an 18 year relationship a year ago and I still need some breathing space, time to myself, time to grow and challenge myself, but I would not want to live in another country to him forever (assuming we stay together). Ok since a lot are feeling blue about LDRs ( I do too sometimes ), I thought of starting a thread for us to post positive things about being in a LDRs and why it's worth all the effort. All positives please. We're doing this to make people feel better in this kind of setup. Positives of LDR and why it's worth it. =D Link to post Share on other sites
lordWilhelm Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 An LDR can complement a relationship that started in person while we have to achieve our own goals. It's challenging, but overcoming the challenge can make the relationship stronger in the following ways: 1) forces us to find new ways to communicate (IM, email, Facebook, chat, telephone) and can bring new insight about each other. For example, I can't say I'm the best communicator by phone but I've had to look at why I'm not so good and try to improve that (I tend to be too curt in speech and found that I can add more detail to make the conversation flow better and for a longer time) -- my GF has had to write longer more detailed emails than she usually does. 2) makes us to think about how important the relationship is in our lives -- whether we can cope with a four month, or a one year separation, and what we can do to keep connected during that time. 3) how much mutual respect we have for each other. if one of us is the only one calling and the other doesn't do any effort or just disappears for a three week period -- then it's pretty clear that it's very one sided, but if we both do our share of effort to keep in touch we feel much better about it and the relationship is more meaningful. 4) we have to address feelings that come up and talk about them. for example there was a period when I started to feel jealous but I didn't talk about it -- it was only when I was able to open up and talk to my GF about it that I felt much better, and she also did her best to minimize situations that made me feel that way. 5) we can't take each other for granted, which can happen a bit when we're together so much. being apart really makes me realize how important in my life my GF is and how good it is to be together... 6) ... and makes it more exciting to see other again! Link to post Share on other sites
lovebugguy Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 Distance is nothing. What matters is what you feel. Yeah, it sounds cliche but that's what it is. Some people look at LDR as disadvantageous and something that often ends up in separation. But look at how many couples break up, and they don't even live miles from each other. Being in an LDR helps you realize just how much you love a person. It makes you long for them more and more. It makes you stronger each time you're far from each other and forces you to be more trustworthy of another. Link to post Share on other sites
Holding-On Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 LDR slow the pace down. You are required to spend more time bonding intellectually, emotionally and spiritually than physically and also slower. This, in my case, saved my relationship (to the point of being married xx years). I am very very very physically attracted to my husband. In a long term marriage where that is your primary sex partner I think this is extremely important. However, neither myself or my husband is very good at waiting. I think I would have rushed in and gotten over my head emotionally and it would have ended up imploding, especially given how immature I was at the time. I agree with the previous posters about LDR forcing you to stay independent and keep up with your friends. Also, this is a bit sad but I do not know that we would have married. I would not have moved - and let go of my job, family and security - to be with my husband if he had not married me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BloodBerry Posted August 5, 2010 Author Share Posted August 5, 2010 True... sometimes some people only get into the bf/gf thing because of the physical attraction and not the more impt things like emotional and intellectual attraction. Physical attraction is impt of course, but to be connected with the other person emotionally and intellectually is more impt. LDR couples have that some emotional and intellectual bond that some normal relationships dont. I myself have been in a normal setup of relationship and I admit, I was blinded by the physical attraction that I wasn't able to see that we weren't a match intellectually. With my SO now, met him online, we were friends for more than a year or 2, before I asked him out. It wasn't exactly physical attraction, I was attracted to him because of his way of thinking and his good heart. We were a match when it comes to beliefs, faith, etc, which i think are very crucial. It was just a big bonus that my SO is a hottie and has the features of a guy that I always dreamed of having LOL... ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
lovebugguy Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 It's quite interesting how most people give the term 'long distance relationships' a negative connotation. Physical attraction is definitely important and determining factor when forging something romantic. But when you get to be with each other for quite sometime already, physical attraction will not matter that much. You will need to strengthen other aspects of the relationship. And in the case of couples who are far from each other, they get the chance to build trust and establish constant communication. Link to post Share on other sites
carvidep Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 When you cheat on your online lover, they will never know about it....Just don't forget to turn off your web cams and when they visit, clean up all the panties and socks hanging all over the house. That is a positive about LDR. haha!! the SO of that cheater would pick up on it eventually. and the cheater's conscience wouldn't be able to hold that secret in forever if he/she really loved their SO. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 When you cheat on your online lover, they will never know about it....Just don't forget to turn off your web cams and when they visit, clean up all the panties and socks hanging all over the house. That is a positive about LDR. then what the hell is the point of committing yourself to someone hours and hours away from you if you have no self control? Quite the moron if they get involved with someone long distance and cheats. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 1: THey wont steal your blanket at night if you are cold. 2: The toilet seat is always in the position you left it 3: There is a HUGE sense of them being with you ....not stalker like....more spiritual. Maybe its that sixth sense that they are thinking of you thru time and space. 4: With 110% certainty, LDR's really do challenge and either make you or break you, most who are up for it, grow soo much and give more willingly. A deeper level is poured into the foundation being created. (PS: the first two responses are purely meant to lighten the matters) and Yes its worth it, every aspect is an opportunity for both partners Link to post Share on other sites
Author BloodBerry Posted August 26, 2010 Author Share Posted August 26, 2010 Thanks for all the comments =D It's great that a lot are still very hopeful about long distance relationships. =) I hope more comments will be posted.. and if someone would share their LDR story and how it worked out for them, would be great =D Link to post Share on other sites
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