mr_atticus Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Hey, all, I need some advice. I've been talking to a girl I really like for about a week now. We've told each other things that we haven't told more than a handful of people; we've both acknowledged the amazing connection, both spiritual and personal, that we have; she's told me outright that she thinks I'm great. That said, she isn't ready to get into another relationship yet. And that's okay with me. I'm helping her with some things, mostly anxiety and self-confidence issues related to her last relationship. My question is, when is it appropriate to expect we might be able to transition to being in a real relationship? Maybe this sounds cheesy, but I fell in love with her the first time we talked. I just want to know what course of action to take now. I need to balance really caring about her with not screwing anything up. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Put what she said through the Brad Pitt test. Would she say the same thing to him? Probably not. Your best course of action is to find someone available. It's okay to admit that her just wanting to be friends is NOT okay with you, because it's clearly not okay with you. If you were really okay with it, you wouldn't be posting about it online. You'd understand and be fully aware of a course of action. I hate to say it, the more you help her the more you hurt yourself in the long run. You are not Mr. Fix-It, and being supportive on her isn't going to equal a relationship in the future. It's the same thing for girls who sleep with a guy hoping it'll lead to exclusivity. It doesn't. Get out now while it's still early and the pain will be short lived. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mr_atticus Posted July 27, 2010 Author Share Posted July 27, 2010 What is the Brad Pitt test? And say what also to him? I understood everything else you wrote, and I think I'll talk to her about it. Thanks for the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 The Brad Pitt test is would she say the same thing about needing time, or whatever her excuse was, to him if he were to come calling and ask her into a serious relationship? Basically, it's the litmus test to her saying "I don't want to be in a relationship" or if it's really closer to "I don't want to be in a relationship with YOU." There's a huge difference between the two. Though, they are often confused with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
jackmartinn55 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Friend is best part of life. Friend is our life. You have best friend. You were talking to her. You told that you both have good connection also. She likes you so much. No, it is not bad for you to go with another relation with her. She likes your nature. Best of luck !! Link to post Share on other sites
snezana Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Make a move with a "horse". Associate with her, be friends with her but at the same time look for a girl that would directly want to be your girlfriend. Then you will understand with which girl you will want to stay. That will be the answer to your question. Ping me if you need more on this as I recently dealt with a similar situation. Link to post Share on other sites
nekoyo Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 Hey there... speaking as a girl, personally, I don't think just because you're "mr. supportive" right now means that you'll never be something else. If there is this mad connection with you, then that will not simply disappear. It would probably do you both good to just become good friends first, get to know each other really, really well... and then see if it stays that way, or one day turns into more! Good luck with it, and try to take it slow Link to post Share on other sites
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