BloodBerry Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 For women out there... will you ever consider proposing marriage to the guy? If so why? and if not? why? Link to post Share on other sites
oldfashiongirlie Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 This is where i'd def go old fashion, I'm not Britney Spears, and at least to me, a girl that proposes looks so desperate!. The cool thing about a proposal is that wether we girls want to admit it, we slowly mastermind hints for guys to pick up, (altough some never do), and when they finally propose, it's the greatest feeling. But i guess we all can think diferently, that's the beauty about diversity, so any girl out there that wants to propose to her guy, good luck!, I am sure we'd do tons better with little details on that special night, than any non gay guy. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 I can see a woman asking off the cuff, why don't we just get married?". But I can't picture that old getting down on one knee and proposing like some old fashioned schlepp. On the same token a guy buying some big costly rock and gettting down on the knee is like saying "may I buy you? Here's a sparkly trinket to marvel at and tell al your idiot friends you've been purchased". Tradition. Fooey. Link to post Share on other sites
califnan Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 For women out there... will you ever consider proposing marriage to the guy? If so why? and if not? why? ---------------- If I was DropDead in Love with the guy ... I might propose - because of my age and time limit and I don't have intimacy outside of marriage.... BUT ... For you guys out there who are descended on by eager women ... And it is a latter marriage .. Give them the litmus test: A Prenup, No LifeEstate in their name .. and all residue goes to your kids ... See how much 'love' there is then .. Link to post Share on other sites
She's_NotInLove_w/Me Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Almost 18 years ago a young lady I had been dating for just over 3 months asked me to marry her... Prior to her asking me the only conversation we had regarding marriage was an off the cuff, "do you think we could be married some day?" I didn't think that a few weeks later she would actually just out of the blue propose to me. We were on her parents front porch step, and looking each other in the eyes and out of nowhere, she pulled off her class ring, and asked me if I would marry her!!! I did not hesitate, I of course said YES! The rest is history; 18 years later and 5 kids later, we are still together and definitely "in love..." Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 I have no issues with women proposing. I have been perceived as proposing twice, in the off the cuff kind of way. I certainly wouldn't get down on my knees, but wouldn't want a man to do that to me, either. Link to post Share on other sites
cookie2 Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 My STBXW proposed to me, on feb 29th. I knew it was coming though, neither of us minded her doing it, it was kind of a funny story. Especially since she had to ask if I was sober first. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 The bended knee thing is just ceremony or gesture. Most folks have discussed it and found they are in agreement prior to the gesture. I take that to mean both proposed marriage. The rest is either romance or materialism. Link to post Share on other sites
Enchanted Girl Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 The bended knee thing is just ceremony or gesture. Most folks have discussed it and found they are in agreement prior to the gesture. I take that to mean both proposed marriage. The rest is either romance or materialism. I agree. I call my guy, my boyfriend, because it's complicated when we're going to get married, but he has technically proposed to me (I just hate all the pressure of everyone else asking me all the time when we're actually going to go through with it) with a ring on one knee and it was after we talked about it a long time, so he already knew my answer before I asked and really, we had already come to that decision together. It was just ceremony and gesture when he did it. Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I would NEVER do this. I think if a guy wants to marry a girl, he will propose to her. If he's not proposing, it's because he doesn't want to marry her! Plus, it just seems rather desperate of the girl like oldfashionedgirlie said. I guess I'm traditional in this situation. Proposing is the man's job! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Proposals generally are not "surprises" that come out of the blue. I doubt many proposals happen before the woman has already broached the subject of marriage with her guy...maybe more than once or twice or three times or many times. They've probably already had many discussions about marriage. The actual proposal is just the "official" guy-is-finally-ready after the woman has indicated many times she wants to get married. A woman proposing...I don't know. I see that as she doesn't think he ever will, so she is bringing the issue to a head. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I would not propose. I would barely even consider marrying, but I do have a soft spot for the old fashioned formal bond that it signifies. Since I like the old fashioned - ness, I also include the arcane notion of the formal proposal from the suitor. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 My STBXW proposed to me, on feb 29th. I knew it was coming though, neither of us minded her doing it, it was kind of a funny story. Especially since she had to ask if I was sober first. HEY!!!! I am sure you arent my spouse but that is exactly what I did! I proposed on Feb 29!! And he agreed!! Its a special day and we got married 4 years later on that very date!!! We got so far as to celebrate one anniversary( 4 years later) and knew we wouldnt last...we did the right thing in parting...but I don't regret for one second asking for his hand in marriage. And no I wasn't desperate.....I simply knew we loved and deserved to make the best out of our relationship..... Link to post Share on other sites
cookie2 Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 We got so far as to celebrate one anniversary You got me beat by 3 months then. We've separated after just 9 months. So... from what we learn here, I guess the girl proposing is a BAD omen?? Link to post Share on other sites
linwood Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 My wife proposed to me. It was very out of the blue as we had only once briefly discussed marriage before and the discussion wasn`t very promising . However, I answered yes immediately. It seems to be working out pretty well so far. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Not for me, thanks. I don't want a big, traditional wedding like most girls but I think I deserve the romantic proposal even cynical, unromantic CE has wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
Ophelia11 Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Almost 18 years ago a young lady I had been dating for just over 3 months asked me to marry her... Prior to her asking me the only conversation we had regarding marriage was an off the cuff, "do you think we could be married some day?" I didn't think that a few weeks later she would actually just out of the blue propose to me. We were on her parents front porch step, and looking each other in the eyes and out of nowhere, she pulled off her class ring, and asked me if I would marry her!!! I did not hesitate, I of course said YES! The rest is history; 18 years later and 5 kids later, we are still together and definitely "in love..." I am new to LS and this may be inappropriate and formerly discussed, but why is your screen-name so contradictory. ETA: This is, however, a very sweet story, and I am glad it worked out so well. Link to post Share on other sites
She's_NotInLove_w/Me Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 (edited) I am new to LS and this may be inappropriate and formerly discussed, but why is your screen-name so contradictory. ETA: This is, however, a very sweet story, and I am glad it worked out so well. That's just one sweet part of a roller coaster of a story. At the time I registered, my wife had just said the typical "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Turns out there was some work we had to do, she was going through a 'mid life crisis' of sorts... Just a short time later, she retracted that statement and today, all is well. No regrets, I would do it all over again, all 18 years of it. Would I change some things, well perhaps, but only to improve my deficiences, nothing else. Relationships often take a lot of work, but when you have the right one, you know it's worth it! Something I read recently explained that all relationships end at some point whether by divorce, death, or some other reason... Enjoy the relationship you're in now; live life and share love to its fullest while you can. I am only 38 and feel as though I have not even lived half of my life as yet. Still I find that time goes by faster than I could possibly imagine! Back to the original topic, if one of my 4 daughters proposed to their future husband, I would have to question their reasons, and even wonder if they were a little desperate... If I was even somewhat comfortable with their choice and decisions, I would likely need to shut up and smile through it though. One thing you can't control (or at least shouldn't in my experience) is your children's choice in partners... Edited July 31, 2010 by She's_NotInLove_w/Me Link to post Share on other sites
SarahRose Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 ---------------- If I was DropDead in Love with the guy ... I might propose - because of my age and time limit and I don't have intimacy outside of marriage.... BUT ... For you guys out there who are descended on by eager women ... And it is a latter marriage .. Give them the litmus test: A Prenup, No LifeEstate in their name .. and all residue goes to your kids ... See how much 'love' there is then .. LOL why is it that the most broke guy living in his mother's basement thinks he needs a prenup? Would you sign a prenup if she was making 200k a year and owned lots of real estate etc? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 LOL why is it that the most broke guy living in his mother's basement thinks he needs a prenup? Would you sign a prenup if she was making 200k a year and owned lots of real estate etc? Because if he is broke the divorce laws still apply to him and he is in financial slavery for possible life. Also most men want to be a success. Also I am not broke and I have not lived with my mother since age 16 and I would have no problem signing a prenup myself. Link to post Share on other sites
WTFBBQ Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 Because if he is broke the divorce laws still apply to him and he is in financial slavery for possible life. Also most men want to be a success. Also I am not broke and I have not lived with my mother since age 16 and I would have no problem signing a prenup myself.me neither. Those that are opposed to prenups are usually the ones that have the most to gain by not signing one. I think that's what the poster was saying. Gold diggers HATE prenups! Link to post Share on other sites
She's_NotInLove_w/Me Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 me neither. Those that are opposed to prenups are usually the ones that have the most to gain by not signing one. I think that's what the poster was saying. Gold diggers HATE prenups! I would have no problem signing a prenup. It only makes sense in this day and age... Relationships are not forever... I worked with for a man who cut a check for several million dollars to his second wife when they divorced, and I honestly think he got away with a lot less than he could have potentially had to pay out. When his son decided to give marriage a try with a 5 yr on again/ off again girlfriend of his, dad of course insisted on a prenup. She wouldn't have anything to do with it and they broke up again. After some discussion, she stated that she was ok with no assests to her after a relatively short marriage, but if they ended up happy and in love and together for 20+ years, she found it unfair to end up empty handed after investing such a large portion of her life with him... they came to an agreement and it's my understanding the prenup is basically staggered in payout based on the length of the marriage! Link to post Share on other sites
lovebugguy Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 I think it's romantic to have your girlfriend propose to you. In a conventional world, it's nice to have someone who's willing to break the norms and do something bold for her love. If my gf does that, I'd answer "yes" right away. Link to post Share on other sites
Sophia8 Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 If we had discussed marriage throughout our relationship and knew his opinions on marriage then yes I would consider proposing to my partner. I do not see it as being desperate at all, women have just as much right to propose to their partners as men do to theirs. As for a prenups I have no problem with signing one and expect my partner to do the same. Link to post Share on other sites
lovebugguy Posted August 4, 2010 Share Posted August 4, 2010 How do you think one should bring up the issue of prenups without offending, or at least making your partner feel uncomfortable? Link to post Share on other sites
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