smk Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 As some of you maybe aware I have been having just a see bit of a roller coaster of late and a random (not so random TBH) popped into the minefield that my head is right now and so I figured I would share this with everyone. There are 2 parts to this: 1) knowing what you do now, knowing that the relationship ended for whatever reason, knowing the hurt your ex may have caused you, knowing the happy times you had, if you could go back and do it all over again, would you? No changes allowed, just plain and simple would you relive the relationship, or if you had the choice to go back and never let it take place would you? Now part 2 2) again knowing everything you know now, knowing your ex and everything that has happened, and having analysed everything, and recalling the bad times during the relationship as well as the good time, recalling the pain and joy with them, seeing each side objectively, if your ex came back to you would you get back with them? Silly questions seeing as it's let's break NC season but just thought I would ask... Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I would not do it again!! I would be able to read the signs and see that this was coming from a mile away! I would not be stubborn trying to turn a big lazy f into a Prince, I would run the other effing direction! So much gd time wasted on someone so undeserving .... Link to post Share on other sites
Rifareal Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 1. is that reliving things that happened would just open the wound even though there are a lot of wonderful things that happened it wouldn't change anything so why entertain that matter. 2.i really don't know if i still want her back. my last relationship ended really bad and honestly i think its better to leave things the way it is. if ever she's coming back i doubt if the previous mistakes would not be opened up. thats the sad thing about relationships, the one that is most special to you leaves a deeper scar. Link to post Share on other sites
cookie2 Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 1) Yes I absolutely would do it again. It was a great 4 years and I know that every decision we made, from moving in to getting married, was the right decision at the time. The last few weeks... well obviously I would change them if I could... but if it's all or nothing, I choose all. 2) Not going to answer that for the sake of my own sanity. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 As some of you maybe aware I have been having just a see bit of a roller coaster of late and a random (not so random TBH) popped into the minefield that my head is right now and so I figured I would share this with everyone. There are 2 parts to this: 1) knowing what you do now, knowing that the relationship ended for whatever reason, knowing the hurt your ex may have caused you, knowing the happy times you had, if you could go back and do it all over again, would you? No changes allowed, just plain and simple would you relive the relationship, or if you had the choice to go back and never let it take place would you? Now part 2 2) again knowing everything you know now, knowing your ex and everything that has happened, and having analysed everything, and recalling the bad times during the relationship as well as the good time, recalling the pain and joy with them, seeing each side objectively, if your ex came back to you would you get back with them? Silly questions seeing as it's let's break NC season but just thought I would ask... No, I would not do it again. He broke up with me SIX TIMES in six years, each time hurting me more than the previous time. And the first night I told him I liked him, we sat in his car and he talked about himself, as well as his first girlfriend, for three hours. Why I didn't see that huge red flag and run is still beyond my comprehension. Yes, we had a lot of good times, but I think I could have had good times without him as well. He would have been ok to have a friend, but I had to go and fall for him. To answer your second question, if he came back to me and begged me back, my answer would be a resounding no. See above how he broke up with me six times. Oh, and each of the six times was COMPLETELY out of the blue, without any warning, and for BS reasons. I finally had to admit to myself that he just wasn't emotionally mature enough to handle an actual relationship beyond the initial giddy stage. Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Yes, we had a lot of good times, but I think I could have had good times without him as well. He would have been ok to have a friend, but I had to go and fall for him. Are we twins?? Same exact thing happened to me, I was just looking for someone to have fun with and feel good about after a bad divorce, I put all my eggs in one loser-sized basket instead of seeing him for what he truly is, a commitmaphobic, mean, lazy *******... Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Yes, we had a lot of good times, but I think I could have had good times without him as well. He would have been ok to have a friend, but I had to go and fall for him. Are we twins?? Same exact thing happened to me, I was just looking for someone to have fun with and feel good about after a bad divorce, I put all my eggs in one loser-sized basket instead of seeing him for what he truly is, a commitmaphobic, mean, lazy *******... Could be, except that mine wasn't exactly mean, but he WAS a narcissist. Did yours have a monobrow too? Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 No monobrow but without the rose-colored glasses he sure was no prize ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author smk Posted July 27, 2010 Author Share Posted July 27, 2010 I figured since I asked it would be rude of me not to answer my own questions. 1) I would relive the experience because she taught me to love, she taught me to open up my heart, she taught me that it was ok to care about someone else just as much as I care about myself, and finally because I believe that even if for a very short period of time, she did truly love me, maybe not enough to fight for me, but loved me nonetheless, and hearing her say it, looking into my eyes, was the greatest feeling in this world. She gave me butterflies every single day we were together, and now I still get them on some days when I think of her. 2) Would I get back - well TBH right now I dont really know. I think there are things that we both really need to work on to ever make this work would she ever come back. Well thats me... Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 1) I'd rather it never happened. 2) No. Link to post Share on other sites
Double D Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 1. No would be my answer, which is sad in a way because its that whole would you rather love and lost or never to have loved at all kinda thing. For me it the aftermath more than out weigh the relationship and love. I dont know if that says anything about our relationship. 2. Funny enough it would make me pause to thought, as a poster said alot of things of both sides would need to be worked on to ever make the relationship work but if I had to give an answer it would be no. Whats done is done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smk Posted July 27, 2010 Author Share Posted July 27, 2010 1. No would be my answer, which is sad in a way because its that whole would you rather love and lost or never to have loved at all kinda thing. For me it the aftermath more than out weigh the relationship and love. I dont know if that says anything about our relationship. 2. Funny enough it would make me pause to thought, as a poster said alot of things of both sides would need to be worked on to ever make the relationship work but if I had to give an answer it would be no. Whats done is done. you are the first person I have seen here from london - big up to the londoners - i am NW london..... sorry got kinda excited there.... Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I honestly wish I didn't waste 10 years of my life on him. All my memories, with him, are now tainted. When I think of good experiences, they have to purposely shut him out. Otherwise, what was done with my life? Link to post Share on other sites
Author smk Posted July 27, 2010 Author Share Posted July 27, 2010 I honestly wish I didn't waste 10 years of my life on him. All my memories, with him, are now tainted. When I think of good experiences, they have to purposely shut him out. Otherwise, what was done with my life? Life is what you make of it - I was with my ex for only 6 months, but those 6 months were probably some of the most significant 6 monthsof my life - i went through a period of change that wasnt due to her, but due to wanting to better myself as a person, some changes happened subconsiously because of her, but not all, and now i have a lot of memories attached to her, but I am working on just focusing the whole memory as opposed to attaching the good feeling specifically to her. I am sure you have done a lot with your life and sometimes we think that our memories are tarnished but in effect we have the power to change who and what we associate with them... i hope I am making sense... Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 you are the first person I have seen here from london - big up to the londoners - i am NW london..... sorry got kinda excited there.... I'm North London..... *waves*....! Link to post Share on other sites
Author smk Posted July 27, 2010 Author Share Posted July 27, 2010 I'm North London..... *waves*....! i live a 15 min drive from watford.... wow - now I am excited... oh she texted me again a few mins ago... hehehehehe... Link to post Share on other sites
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