bonpaw2008 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Woke up today, and she wasn't the first thought on my mind. So that's good. What was the first thing?? Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 He sent me a text today saying 'good day to share a coffee right?' My reply was 'Is that a proposal?' His reply 'Yes, but I can't today though' and what did I answer?? 'Who said I was available today?' One hour later he sent me an email saying something like 'What a pity we couldn't meet today, I don't know what you'll be doing today, where are you going if I may ask?' hahaha I never replied. I couldn't stop laughing at it. It didn't affect me at all. Oh well... let's face it, I'm a lunatic. I love your wicked side, means that you are going over to the dark side to make his life the same hell that he has made yours....perfect!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 What was the first thing?? How much I love you guys on Loveshack XD Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 Okay, I logged on skype and I totally forgot she was on my friend list. I started talking to my friend and all of a sudden after a year without logging on, SHE LOGS ON and after a few seconds SHE CALLS ME. Didn't pick up. I'm on NC. She hangs up 7 seconds later and logs off (or goes invisible.) Ummmm okay? Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 all of a sudden after a year without logging on, SHE LOGS ON and after a few seconds SHE CALLS ME. Ummmm okay? similar situation here - my ex hardly used to log onto FB and she apparently hated putting pics up and updating her status etc... yet in the last 4 weeks she has put up pics, updated her status, and even had some other random friends of hers (people she told me she didnt like and wouldnt be seen dead with them yet from what i hear she has been hanging out with them almost every day since the break)... anyways its her life - let her do what she wants... hehehehe... but i guess my point here is that they all of a suddent do things that they didnt do whilst they were with and said they didnt like yet now its their favourite pass time... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 similar situation here - my ex hardly used to log onto FB and she apparently hated putting pics up and updating her status etc... yet in the last 4 weeks she has put up pics, updated her status, and even had some other random friends of hers (people she told me she didnt like and wouldnt be seen dead with them yet from what i hear she has been hanging out with them almost every day since the break)... anyways its her life - let her do what she wants... hehehehe... but i guess my point here is that they all of a suddent do things that they didnt do whilst they were with and said they didnt like yet now its their favourite pass time... What was weird was she called me as soon as she logged on. It spooked me haha didn't pick up though. And she took down that "mind erasing" status on FB haha Sometimes I think she's looking at my LS post XD Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 What was weird was she called me as soon as she logged on. It spooked me haha didn't pick up though. And she took down that "mind erasing" status on FB haha Sometimes I think she's looking at my LS post XD I get that too - and i used my initials as my username and even posted her name once... cos there are times when i will say something on LS and then all of a sudden she reappears in my life... i think we are just paranoid...LOL Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I get that too - and i used my initials as my username and even posted her name once... cos there are times when i will say something on LS and then all of a sudden she reappears in my life... i think we are just paranoid...LOL It is so funny how the tables turn. NC totally ROCKS! They deserve a little taste of what we have been going through. Stay strong boys, don't get sucked back in! Remember what "hi" means!!! Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 It is so funny how the tables turn. NC totally ROCKS! They deserve a little taste of what we have been going through. Stay strong boys, don't get sucked back in! Remember what "hi" means!!! NC is the way forward - and the best part is - the longer you go, the easier it becomes... BTW I love your signature... Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 NC is the way forward - and the best part is - the longer you go, the easier it becomes... BTW I love your signature... I am still waiting for the easier part, on day 9 and it still hurts to the bone. After a year and a half of complete saturation of contact (phone, IM all day long, FB, etc) to go to nothing is just terrible. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I am still waiting for the easier part, on day 9 and it still hurts to the bone. After a year and a half of complete saturation of contact (phone, IM all day long, FB, etc) to go to nothing is just terrible. I know exactly what you mean - let me give you my typical day before i moved in and we broke up: 6:00AM - wake up 6:30 - Leave home to see her 7:00 - arrive at her house and spend an hour with her 8:00 - leave for work 8:25 - speak to her on way to work 8:45 - 9:15 - text her 9:15 - 9:20 talk to her on the phone 9:21 - 10 - text 10 - 10:05 - phone 10:06 - 11:00 text 11:01 - 11:05 - phone this went all all day and i would spend my entire lunchtime on the phone to her. leave work at 5:30 - meet her for 6 - be with her til 12:30 when i would leave to go hom - speak on the phone and text till about 1:30 - then sleep and start the cycle all over again.... i know how hard it still is at time for me to stick to NC - but TBH I dont even know what I would talk to her about now...I know i shouldnt say this but if we did get back together then it would be starting from scratch cos i just feel that i dont know her anymore.. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 BON - forgot to tell you - you are doing great... I can feel the positive aura emanating from you and can see how committed you are to moving forward and putting him in your past... Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 BON - forgot to tell you - you are doing great... I can feel the positive aura emanating from you and can see how committed you are to moving forward and putting him in your past... Thanks (and you are doing great as well, even if the past few days didn't feel like it all of these feelings mean progress!) I really do thank God everyday that I found LS and you guys....I have read every self-help book out there on the net trying to fix this, but the advice I get from this group helps me turn my thoughts around. Example, I really had the urge to contact him and tell him that he shouldn't be afraid to contact me (mostly because he is a coward and I know that he wouldn't because he is scared, guilty, all of the above). But re-reading NC and and remembering that is my time to heal, not to worry about what he was thinking, feeling, that even if he contacted me things would not be different unless I changed myself (and obviously he got his **** together), etc. It helps more than anything has so far. Baby steps.....one foot in front of the other. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 T Baby steps.....one foot in front of the other. Perfect way of putting it... We are learning to deal with things all over again - from scratch - our ex's were a major contributing factor in our lives whether good or bad, and now that they arent there we lose the "support" network that we had through them - and we are reqiring our mind to deal with - and the only way forward it take one step at a time while becoming stable.... You have to crawl before you walk, and walk before you run... Some of us here are learning to crawl, some have just started crawling, others are learning to walk, some walking, and hopefully one day we will all be running (away from our ex's)..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 So from everything I posted so far, do you think the tables have turned for me? NC is making me feel strong haha Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 So from everything I posted so far, do you think the tables have turned for me? NC is making me feel strong haha hell yeah - you seem to be doing better... and the NC is probably driving her mad trying to figure what is going on in your head... I know it would drive me mad if I was in her shoes... At first when everyone said go NC i thought they must be out of their minds, how would NC help me feel better when the only thing that made me feel good was her, here I am almost 3 weeks into NC - i only replied once to a txt she sent (so technically that doesnt count) and I feel stronger... sure the last 2 days were pretty depressing but I guess its just normal... the question here is though - are you doing NC for you or to get her back??? Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 So from everything I posted so far, do you think the tables have turned for me? NC is making me feel strong haha I do think things have turned, her still trying to get a hold of you proves that. But you need to remember why she is contacting you, just to make sure you are still on her hook, if she doesn't come back with "I made the biggest mistake of my life and I love you and can't live without you" it is still all bull****, manipulation, and using.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 hell yeah - you seem to be doing better... and the NC is probably driving her mad trying to figure what is going on in your head... I know it would drive me mad if I was in her shoes... At first when everyone said go NC i thought they must be out of their minds, how would NC help me feel better when the only thing that made me feel good was her, here I am almost 3 weeks into NC - i only replied once to a txt she sent (so technically that doesnt count) and I feel stronger... sure the last 2 days were pretty depressing but I guess its just normal... the question here is though - are you doing NC for you or to get her back??? It does seem like it's getting to her. I mean she broke NC 4 times and recently too. I thought NC was stupid too. But I see why everyone loves it. It's for me and me only. I always say it's an emotional rollercoaster, but those emotions pass. It beats total heartbreak anyday. Well when I first did NC, that was my goal. Now it's to better myself, heal, and show her that I am a new person than the person she dumped. I do think things have turned, her still trying to get a hold of you proves that. But you need to remember why she is contacting you, just to make sure you are still on her hook, if she doesn't come back with "I made the biggest mistake of my life and I love you and can't live without you" it is still all bull****, manipulation, and using.... True. I'm not letting her off the hook. I want to show her what she has lost Link to post Share on other sites
lullaby Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 So from everything I posted so far, do you think the tables have turned for me? NC is making me feel strong haha Sure. The dumper also goes through a rough period: that of guilt and regret and that haunting question of 'Did I do the right thing?' It's great you're feeling strong! continue like this! In a while, when she contacts, it won't even bother you. Embrace this feeling of strength! Link to post Share on other sites
lullaby Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 hell yeah - you seem to be doing better... and the NC is probably driving her mad trying to figure what is going on in your head... I know it would drive me mad if I was in her shoes... At first when everyone said go NC i thought they must be out of their minds, how would NC help me feel better when the only thing that made me feel good was her, here I am almost 3 weeks into NC - i only replied once to a txt she sent (so technically that doesnt count) and I feel stronger... sure the last 2 days were pretty depressing but I guess its just normal... the question here is though - are you doing NC for you or to get her back??? I think, initially, we all go NC to get them back, it's the first impulse and desire. Then we begin to read about how NC really works and start following those steps. Eventually, we realize it was not to get them back but to heal. I think it's 'easier' to think we're doing something to get them back instead of MOVING ON, that's a scary idea at first and then it just happens. The fact that they return after a while is just a consequence of not being there for them as they thought you'd be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 What the hell? All of a sudden I'm feeling bad again for ignoring her 4 times. Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 What the hell? All of a sudden I'm feeling bad again for ignoring her 4 times. GD it, I was just about to post, he has his GD friend texting me asking me if I am ok....WTF!!!! Seriously why the **** can't they just leave us be?? This is what they wanted.... You should not feel bad, you should feel free....she is playing games Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 What the hell? All of a sudden I'm feeling bad again for ignoring her 4 times. It's completely normal - there will still be times that will come when u, me and all of us in NC will feel bad... Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I dream of her being unwell, then I find out on weds through my business partner that she had been unwell since Monday - purely coincidence that I have these dreams and she is unwell but imagine how crap I felt when I knew that she was really yet I kept my resolve to stick to nc... Just let the feelings ride out it's all you can do... Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 GD it, I was just about to post, he has his GD friend texting me asking me if I am ok....WTF!!!! Seriously why the **** can't they just leave us be?? This is what they wanted.... You should not feel bad, you should feel free....she is playing games Friend is trying to tell me that he has no idea .... hasn't talked to him since Monday, what a total bunch of ****....why does everyone have to be a total ****ing liar....I am going to whip this ****ing phone out the window going 70 down the freeway.....f.u.c.k You know that if you get back with her things will be the same and end the same way. Be strong Link to post Share on other sites
Author Username37 Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 You know what's funny? I remember the first few weeks after my break up, I was waiting by my phone waiting for contact. Now that's I'm getting contact, I'm getting pissy and **** XD Man, emotional rollercoaster for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
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