So it's been 2 months broken up

[Username37]

Think about how good you've felt lately.

 

Take a good look in the mirror, and tell yourself that you will NOT torture yourself anymore. You are worth more than that.

 

Learn your lessons, and leave her in the past, where she belongs.

 

Have you written a pros and cons list yet?

 

I've had my good and bad days.

 

And I will. I'm getting sick of this crap honestly.

 

I did. And I had a little more pros than cons.

[cookie2]

I know she's not hurting me intentionally. But seeing and reading what she's doing makes me feel like I didn't satisfy her enough etc.

Sorry to say it dude, but you didn't satisfy her enough. None of us did. That's why they quit on us. If they were satisfied they wouldn't have left.

 

I messed the whole relationship up and I could've still had her. But she had to quit on me.

It takes 2 to make a relationship. You can't have messed the whole thing up yourself. Like you said, SHE QUIT ON YOU. Same for all of us here. We all made mistakes, whether we did something wrong, or didn't do something we should have. But at the end of the day it was our ex's who chose to bail rather than take the adult approach, and talk the problems through.

 

All we can do is learn from our experiences and avoid the same pitfalls next time around. And hope that the next person will not be such a spineless quitter!!

[smk]

Sorry to say it dude, but you didn't satisfy her enough. None of us did. That's why they quit on us. If they were satisfied they wouldn't have left.

 

 

It takes 2 to make a relationship. You can't have messed the whole thing up yourself. Like you said, SHE QUIT ON YOU. Same for all of us here. We all made mistakes, whether we did something wrong, or didn't do something we should have. But at the end of the day it was our ex's who chose to bail rather than take the adult approach, and talk the problems through.

 

All we can do is learn from our experiences and avoid the same pitfalls next time around. And hope that the next person will not be such a spineless quitter!!

 

UN - cookie is correct - we did all we could to save the relationship and if they chose leave then let them live with their decision - we can only go on so long beating ourselves up and playing the "what if" games in our minds - we can try and replay each moment in our minds and re-analyze every situation but the eventual outcome may still be the same...

 

The best thing you can do here is look at yourself and find that inner happiness and peace and learn the lessons that this relationship has taught - to never let someone walk over you again - I know thats what I am trying to do. I learnt that I sacrificed and compromised on so many of my own beliefs whilst she held her up - and now I feel like an idiot - the next person I meet needs to put in just as much as I do...

[bonpaw2008]

So today, I haven't thought about my ex a lot and I decided to get a little make over. I got rid of the long hair that my ex seemed to like so much. She got rid of the bangs I loved around the time of her little hook up so I might as well get rid of the hairstyle she liked.

 

I looked at pictures of me post break up (like a week after) and I looked fat, greasy, and depressed. I looked like **** basically. Now I've been working out like crazy and cleaned up well and well...I feel pretty

 

Hopefully my ex will she the diamond she threw away XD

 

You need to get back to this, you felt good and did something for yourself.

[Username37]

You need to get back to this, you felt good and did something for yourself.

 

I know, i was happy but then i manage to find something to bring me down.

[bonpaw2008]

I know, i was happy but then i manage to find something to bring me down.

 

I do this all the time too, but I am consciously making an effort to avoid anything that will set me off....just try not to be your worst enemy wish I could see a pic I bet you look hot!!!

Edited August 11, 2010 by bonpaw2008

[Username37]

I do this all the time too, but I am consciously making an effort to avoid anything that will set me off....just try not to be your worst enemy wish I could see a pic I bet you look hot!!!

 

What are some way to avoid?

 

And I hate this guy bull****. The whole "You don't want to know, but you gotta know" kind of deal. I don't want this girl to ruin my life or my school year.

 

And thanks for the self esteem boost

I can honestly say I look hotter than the person that she dumped haha\

 

 

New thought: My ex I consider a holy person and yet, she hooks up with some guy. I can't wrap my head around that..

Edited August 11, 2010 by Username37

[bonpaw2008]

What are some way to avoid?

 

And I hate this guy bull****. The whole "You don't want to know, but you gotta know" kind of deal. I don't want this girl to ruin my life or my school year.

 

And thanks for the self esteem boost

I can honestly say I look hotter than the person that she dumped haha

 

I bet you do look hotter

 

So what I did is deleted him from my life. No FB no nonsense, his number is not in my phone, etc. All the NC things that we read about. His FB page was wide open so even though he wasn't my friend I could still look so I blocked. I fight the urge all the time of asking friends how he is, etc. because this is now about me. He told me that not being with me is for the best, and guess what, it is the best for me too. So I don't need to know what he is doing etc. because he quit me

 

All of the NC things you need to do is for you. You are going to get to the point that you really don't want / need to know, because you are living your life, that is what you are striving for. I know that all of us want to look at crying pics of our exes and how life sucks without us, but you know what, their life goes on and yours has to as well...ask yourself why you are so interested in what she is doing?

 

The only way she is going to ruin your life is if you let her. And you are not going to do that because you are working on you, making yourself better, and getting on with your life.

[Username37]

I've been going out with some family and friends and I've been having fun this summer. But why do I still feel lonely? I thought surrounding myself around others would help. I'm not going to rebound or hook up for that would not help IMO (I don't get how they could honestly, using someone to get your mind of someone? What?!)

 

I miss talking to her, but I can't look at her. Even her name makes my heart sink.

[Username37]

Lately I've been having headaches and I start blacking out and stuff.

 

Also thinking about her gives me shortness of breath, feels like my chest is tightening and my heart is screaming in pain. Has anyone felt this?

 

And it honestly feels like this relationship never happened. Like this is some sort of dream .

[Username37]

So I was cleaning out my drawer and I found the birthday card my ex gave me. This was her first NC break. I was 2 or 3 weeks into NC when I received this.

 

Key things in the card

 

- Said that she'll always remember my birthday

- She remembered my Grandfather's death aniversary (she didn't want to text her condolences)

- Whatever I hear about her, I know the real her and she doesn't want me to forget that.

- She has the memories of our relationship

- She hopes we have more memories as the close friends we really are.

- The gift she gave me is lame in comparison to the past

- A good luck for this contest I was doing.

 

This was a month ago. I feel glad that she still cared. But the chances of us being together again appears to be nothing from this card.

[Username37]

Sorry for the many posts.

 

Gah, I can't forget the last moment we were together. We actually fought. It was something stupid. It ended with us deciding to go on break and I was pretty pissed at her. The last thing I even told her was "thanks for ruining my day" and I drove off. We even gave each other gifts earlier that day and we were happy until I got mad at her for ignoring me.

 

I know I'm beating myself up, but I need to get this off my chest here.

[Username37]

 

This whole movie is almost like my relationship.

She told me not to leave, and she's the one who left me.

[skydiveaddict]

 

This whole movie is almost like my relationship.

She told me not to leave, and she's the one who left me.

 

 

 

That's what happened to me too. Who knows why?

[cookie2]

- Whatever I hear about her, I know the real her and she doesn't want me to forget that.

Ha! See my sig

[Username37]

Ha! See my sig

 

HA! That's true. Wish I could tell her that.

 

But from that letter she sent me (the birthday letter) do you find that she genuinely cares or was she seeing if she still had a hook on me? She sent this too me 3 weeks after I began NC. The last thing she said was "don't contact me for the whole summer" and "we can't be friends now"

[bonpaw2008]

Lately I've been having headaches and I start blacking out and stuff.

 

Also thinking about her gives me shortness of breath, feels like my chest is tightening and my heart is screaming in pain. Has anyone felt this?

 

And it honestly feels like this relationship never happened. Like this is some sort of dream .

 

Sounds like a panic attack, are you eating??? I feel this terrible weight on my chest most days, and terrible headaches, all physical symptoms of the emotional crap we are feeling....

 

 

What did you do for yourself today?

[cookie2]

But from that letter she sent me (the birthday letter) do you find that she genuinely cares or was she seeing if she still had a hook on me?

It doesn't matter. You can't be just friends with her until you can handle seeing her with another man, and her seeing you with another woman. So it doesn't matter in the slightest whether she cares or not. Anything less than crawling through broken glass and hot coals begging forgiveness 24/7 is unacceptable.

 

And yeah that does sound like a panic attack, maybe see the doctor, if you black out while driving it could be nasty.

[Username37]

Sounds like a panic attack, are you eating??? I feel this terrible weight on my chest most days, and terrible headaches, all physical symptoms of the emotional crap we are feeling....

 

What did you do for yourself today?

 

Yeah, my eating pattern has been back to normal. And yeah they are panic attacks. I have a history of those. Like when my grandfather died, I remember going to the hospital because I didn't know what was going on haha. And yeah, I've been having headaches too. Well that's hearbreak I guess...

 

It doesn't matter. You can't be just friends with her until you can handle seeing her with another man, and her seeing you with another woman. So it doesn't matter in the slightest whether she cares or not. Anything less than crawling through broken glass and hot coals begging forgiveness 24/7 is unacceptable.

 

And yeah that does sound like a panic attack, maybe see the doctor, if you black out while driving it could be nasty.

 

According to my ex, she's not looking for anyone new. So I guess she's looking for FWBs and stuff like that. So that stuff about my birthday and my grandfather is nothing? It felt nice that she said all that stuff until she said the whole "close friends" and "real me" crap which ticked me off.

[Username37]

That's what happened to me too. Who knows why?

 

I would like to know why too. But I never will. Hell, I don't think my ex remembers honestly. I always had to remind her things that we did and things that we said and stuff.

[cookie2]

It felt nice that she said all that stuff until she said the whole "close friends" and "real me" crap which ticked me off.

Exactly!!!

 

Anything other than total grovelling for forgiveness means nothing. If you slam the door in her face and she accepts it and goes away then it is HER who is not doing enough to get YOU back. If my ex came to the door right now I would slam it in her face. IF she were still there crying in the rain 3 hours later then maybe I would talk. THEY have to make the effort, and a HUGE effort, to get us back after what they put us through! If they aren't prepared to do it, they aren't really coming back for the right reasons, and will be gone again in 6 months time anyway.

[Username37]

Exactly!!!

 

Anything other than total grovelling for forgiveness means nothing. If you slam the door in her face and she accepts it and goes away then it is HER who is not doing enough to get YOU back. If my ex came to the door right now I would slam it in her face. IF she were still there crying in the rain 3 hours later then maybe I would talk. THEY have to make the effort, and a HUGE effort, to get us back after what they put us through! If they aren't prepared to do it, they aren't really coming back for the right reasons, and will be gone again in 6 months time anyway.

 

****ing A cookie.

She's making no effort at all and if she is, she's doing a **** job with it. Like the whole friend text thing she sent me. If she TRULY wanted to be friends, a phone call or some sort of meeting would be an effort NOT a small text asking for it with a little " " at the end.

 

My ex takes short cuts. For example, she broke up with me on the phone because she was afraid to see me and the whole rebound hookup thing.

[Username37]

So I learned a new word today

 

"one-itis"

 

I'm suffering this big time. My ex probably did too, but she obviously cured it already. Gah that's painful.

[smk]

Exactly!!!

 

Anything other than total grovelling for forgiveness means nothing. If you slam the door in her face and she accepts it and goes away then it is HER who is not doing enough to get YOU back. If my ex came to the door right now I would slam it in her face. IF she were still there crying in the rain 3 hours later then maybe I would talk. THEY have to make the effort, and a HUGE effort, to get us back after what they put us through! If they aren't prepared to do it, they aren't really coming back for the right reasons, and will be gone again in 6 months time anyway.

 

Hell yeah dude - the odd phone call does not mean anything - unless she did something completely unexpected I wouldn't consider anything...

 

I get the silly text msgs evey now and then and then when I don't reply I get the phone call, which I ignored today...

 

They need to realise that none of us are second class citizens, who will simply forget everything we have been through in the last how much ever time:..

[bonpaw2008]

So I learned a new word today

 

"one-itis"

 

I'm suffering this big time. My ex probably did too, but she obviously cured it already. Gah that's painful.

 

 

LOL you made me and cookie google it