So it's been 2 months broken up

[Username37]

Gah! Do exes even care about the pain they put us through? Knowing that we are forever scarred. This is my first break up. And in the words of Cat Stevens (or Yusaf whatever haha) "The First Cut Is The Deepest"

 

I never felt heartbreak before, and reading all these stories online, you can't be 100 percent over your first love. It was a powerful love because it was new and it's the first relationship without pain and all that baggage. It's so powerful and new, you don't think about heart break and all of that.

 

My father always told me "when you get your heart broken, do you know what to do?" and I remember telling him to shut up and I just ignored him. Now, here I am. Heartbroken and slowly trying to get myself together.

 

I seriously think my relationship could've been saved if my ex wasn't so bitchy when it came to talking about problems. I was willing to fix ANY problem she tossed at me and she was like **** it and dumped me.

 

She told me not to leave her. She ended up leaving me. Gah the new her is ridicious.

[Div]

Gah! Do exes even care about the pain they put us through? Knowing that we are forever scarred. This is my first break up. And in the words of Cat Stevens (or Yusaf whatever haha) "The First Cut Is The Deepest"

 

I never felt heartbreak before, and reading all these stories online, you can't be 100 percent over your first love. It was a powerful love because it was new and it's the first relationship without pain and all that baggage. It's so powerful and new, you don't think about heart break and all of that.

 

My father always told me "when you get your heart broken, do you know what to do?" and I remember telling him to shut up and I just ignored him. Now, here I am. Heartbroken and slowly trying to get myself together.

 

I seriously think my relationship could've been saved if my ex wasn't so bitchy when it came to talking about problems. I was willing to fix ANY problem she tossed at me and she was like **** it and dumped me.

 

She told me not to leave her. She ended up leaving me. Gah the new her is ridicious.

 

You're being too hard on yourself, man. Relationships come and go and at no point should you think "If only I had done this we would still be together...", because the simple fact is you probably wouldn't. Something else would have sparked the breakup either way.

 

I am going through the exact same as you, broke up with first love on May 16th (same date as you even I think!). In this time I have realized that PEOPLE CHANGE beyond any control of ours. We're still so young and everyone goes through some big, life-changing changes at this age. Everyone's still trying to work out what they want out of life. Almost nobody ends up with their first love at the end of the road. Be thankful you had a chance to experience such a strong connection at such a young age! It means in future you will be able to love even stronger, and you will find a more meaningful relationship in future I guarantee.

 

I'm sure our exes care about us, but not in a romantic way, that's why they left us. No one and I mean noone can analyse the whole relationship and pin point a few single moments that caused the breakup. Even if you both were the perfect communicators and were able to sort out all of your problems, its unlikely you would have gotten further. She's changing as a person and so are you - you just grew apart and that is NOBODYS fault.

 

 

Life throws tons of obstacles at couples, if you two are built for greatness, you conquer them together. If you two aren't meant for greatness together, you conquer them apart.

[Username37]

You're being too hard on yourself, man. Relationships come and go and at no point should you think "If only I had done this we would still be together...", because the simple fact is you probably wouldn't. Something else would have sparked the breakup either way.

 

I am going through the exact same as you, broke up with first love on May 16th (same date as you even I think!). In this time I have realized that PEOPLE CHANGE beyond any control of ours. We're still so young and everyone goes through some big, life-changing changes at this age. Everyone's still trying to work out what they want out of life. Almost nobody ends up with their first love at the end of the road. Be thankful you had a chance to experience such a strong connection at such a young age! It means in future you will be able to love even stronger, and you will find a more meaningful relationship in future I guarantee.

 

I'm sure our exes care about us, but not in a romantic way, that's why they left us. No one and I mean noone can analyse the whole relationship and pin point a few single moments that caused the breakup. Even if you both were the perfect communicators and were able to sort out all of your problems, its unlikely you would have gotten further. She's changing as a person and so are you - you just grew apart and that is NOBODYS fault.

 

 

Life throws tons of obstacles at couples, if you two are built for greatness, you conquer them together. If you two aren't meant for greatness together, you conquer them apart.

 

I understand what you mean. If I did what I should've done, I would still be making the mistakes that led to the end of my relationship later down the road.

 

We broke up on that day. Wow man...same day...

And I also learned that people change. It's painful seeing and hearing the new her. She use to be quiet and innocent now she's a party animal. She also said that "I know who she is and she doesn't want me to forget that" her new behavior is NOT what I know her for. We made plans for our future together and it's painful because all that hope and excitement is now erased and gone forever. And I don't regret the relationship (unlike her), I'm glad I fell in love and I hope that I have that feeling again with someone new or her again one day.

 

I'm not sure if she still cares about me and I was not aware we were growing apart. Then again, she probably left stuff out when she dumped me.

[Username37]

I'm not gonna do this but what's everyone's opinion on LC ?

[skydiveaddict]

I'm not gonna do this but what's everyone's opinion on LC ?

 

 

Not a good Idea if you ask me. Go NC give your smashed up heart some time to heal.

[Username37]

Not a good Idea if you ask me. Go NC give your smashed up heart some time to heal.

 

 

I'm on hardcore NC right now haha

 

I'm just wondering why people would chose LC over NC.

[csman1411]

take this for what its worth cuz i dont know much but...

 

I would only go LC if she showed a huge interest in you and said she wanted to be together and you were willing to make things work. You cant switch straight from NC to being with her all the time when she wants you back or she will know you were playing a game. Also LC will give you time to talk to her but also give you space so you can decide what you really want and if she is in it for real. I believe people also use LC if they have to (ie. kids, work together, etc..) I think its a very bad idea for you to try to talk to her right now....

 

Wanted to call my ex today...Listened to Eminem Not Afraid...Helped a little bit..hope you can relate

[Username37]

take this for what its worth cuz i dont know much but...

 

I would only go LC if she showed a huge interest in you and said she wanted to be together and you were willing to make things work. You cant switch straight from NC to being with her all the time when she wants you back or she will know you were playing a game. Also LC will give you time to talk to her but also give you space so you can decide what you really want and if she is in it for real. I believe people also use LC if they have to (ie. kids, work together, etc..) I think its a very bad idea for you to try to talk to her right now....

 

Wanted to call my ex today...Listened to Eminem Not Afraid...Helped a little bit..hope you can relate

 

Yeah....my ex and I don't have children haha. Should I use LC because we go to school together?

 

I haven't had the urge to for a while. I thought it, but it wasn't a strong desire.

[csman1411]

NOOOOO...I go to school with my ex as well and I make it a point to not be around her. I even have to drive by her house every time i go to class or my friends house and I make it a point to not see if shes home. You dont need to know or think about what shes doing, wheres she at, etc..If you contact her first then its gonna make you feel like you did when yall first broke up. I would try my best to just not be around her as much as possible and if you do run into her, keep it short and simple, be a confident guy and go about your business. If there is a relationship still there then shes gonna have to bring it up

[csman1411]

and the more your there for her (as friends), the less of a chance you have...TRUST ME. I care so much for my ex and I know she is gonna come running back maybe a couple weeks, maybe a month, whatever. But right now instead of worrying about that, Im trying to go out and meet new people and really figure out if this is what I want in my life cuz she left me for nothing when she was upset with me even though she knows when she ever needed me she could call

[cookie2]

LC is only for those who have to talk to each other. For example arranging access to kids, or a divorce. Everyone else... NC!

[Username37]

I want to thank all of you guys for your months of help. August 23rd is my test. My test to see if I can use all the advice you guys have given me for the past two months.

 

I'll appreciate any new advice right now.

[Username37]

Small rant on my ex.

 

The **** that my ex girlfriend done shows that I'm easily replaceable. She hooks up with a guy 3 weeks after the break up to get over me. It shows me that she can get rid of the 1.5 years or her life with me with ONE guy that she just met right away. Seriously, can this ONE guy help her forget the Christmases, New Years, birthdays, dates, dances, ALL OF THAT?! Can this one guy destroy the emotional bond that we shared? I guess it did..

 

She wants to be friends, but after all of that **** she did, why? She knows that I know and she knows that I'm hurt. If she can replace me as a boyfriend in 3 weeks, she can easily replace me as a friend.

 

Just needed to vent. Hooray for my own thread.

[csman1411]

NOO...my ex did the exact same thing. together for 1 1/2 years..we get in a bad fight and break up and shes talking to some guy in 3 weeks...long story short, she hits me up the whole time, i finally give in and we get back together...date the whole summer, same problems arise break up again and shes back to the rebound...dont worry about it, she will come crawling back but i wouldl be careful what you do..i wish i would have never gotten back with my ex cuz it just put me to a point of numbness for two months, i wasnt happy with her..just content. Now im back to square one.

 

Got a girl coming to stay with me the whole weekend though...probably not the best way to try to get over someone but we will see if it helps.

[Username37]

NOO...my ex did the exact same thing. together for 1 1/2 years..we get in a bad fight and break up and shes talking to some guy in 3 weeks...long story short, she hits me up the whole time, i finally give in and we get back together...date the whole summer, same problems arise break up again and shes back to the rebound...dont worry about it, she will come crawling back but i wouldl be careful what you do..i wish i would have never gotten back with my ex cuz it just put me to a point of numbness for two months, i wasnt happy with her..just content. Now im back to square one.

 

Got a girl coming to stay with me the whole weekend though...probably not the best way to try to get over someone but we will see if it helps.

 

I haven't gotten any "get back together" contact from her and if I did, I definetly would think and not jump into anything. And what were the problems that led to your break up if you don't mind me asking? And I'm not sure she'll crawl back. Her friends control her.

[csman1411]

Honestly man, little stuff like my jelously, her wanting to be around all the time and me needing my space were the two main things. When she is stressedout she likes to take it out on me and therfore I get mad. Im not writing our relationship out as a whole but we def. jumped back into things way sooner than we should have. People dont chance in 4 months you know. But all my gf friends hate me too but they are bad influences on her life...they tell her to just run, try not to talk to me, find someone else, go party...and we all know you dont get over someone like that, I just dont want to see you get in the same position im in..

 

Haha its sick that i have another girl in my living room but im on LS talking to you guys because I wanna help yall out cuz youve done so much for me. Other girls arent the way to go either, shes still on my mind a lot and if i sleep with this chick, i know ill only be thinking about her when its over. I wish my girl wasnt so immature and stupid but sometimes thats the way it works

[Username37]

Honestly man, little stuff like my jelously, her wanting to be around all the time and me needing my space were the two main things. When she is stressedout she likes to take it out on me and therfore I get mad. Im not writing our relationship out as a whole but we def. jumped back into things way sooner than we should have. People dont chance in 4 months you know. But all my gf friends hate me too but they are bad influences on her life...they tell her to just run, try not to talk to me, find someone else, go party...and we all know you dont get over someone like that, I just dont want to see you get in the same position im in..

 

Haha its sick that i have another girl in my living room but im on LS talking to you guys because I wanna help yall out cuz youve done so much for me. Other girls arent the way to go either, shes still on my mind a lot and if i sleep with this chick, i know ill only be thinking about her when its over. I wish my girl wasnt so immature and stupid but sometimes thats the way it works

 

Sounds like my relationship. She always was going out and crap and when I did, she would get all insecure and jealous. And she got stressed a lot and she took her stress out on me which ticked me off. And some of her friends hated me too and they're the reason why she's all different now. It's sad that she can't think for herself. And it's a bad way to get over someone. Resorting to hooking up and drinking/smoking....it just shows that they cannot be alone and are just desperate. Thanks for the advice man. And get off the LS man! You got a chick with ya! haha I'm not into the hooking up scene. I find it just wrong...using someone for your pleasure..like looking at them as objects and not humans. Bleh I'm weird for a guy huh? haha

[csman1411]

no your exactly like me, ill be sleeping on the couch tonight...it seriously took my girl two weeks tops to contact me and tell me how sorry she was, she just kept doing what she was doing until I showed an interest though...I now realized that i cant make her grow up, shes got too on her own and when she does, thats when we can be together again, if she doesnt then ill let her go forever because ill never go through what ive gone through again

[Username37]

no your exactly like me, ill be sleeping on the couch tonight...it seriously took my girl two weeks tops to contact me and tell me how sorry she was, she just kept doing what she was doing until I showed an interest though...I now realized that i cant make her grow up, shes got too on her own and when she does, thats when we can be together again, if she doesnt then ill let her go forever because ill never go through what ive gone through again

 

I wish my ex would apologize or something. But I wouldn't take her back right away. Just something to see if she cares still. And I know that I can't make my ex change. Like I wish I could just talk to her about this stuff but she'll end up flipping and telling me not to judge her. If she does have a change of heart (which I hope so much that she does) I'll take her back but if she doesn't. Then I guess I have to let her be and I guess won't accept friendship.

[Username37]

My Wake Up Thoughts: August 19th 2010

 

NC is suddenly killing me. Feels like I'm losing her and she's getting use to me out of her life. It's been 3 months already and I'm sure she's use to it now. She is a fast pace Gemini after all...

 

I don't know, it feels like NC is actually tearing me apart right now.

[AndrewJDC]

Stick with it, else you will never recover.

 

I think you need to start dating, it's hard but when you meet that special one your ex will drop from your mind.

 

It's your life, make it happy, you deserve more than feeling down about her.

 

Other girls will take your mind off her I promise.

[Username37]

Stick with it, else you will never recover.

 

I think you need to start dating, it's hard but when you meet that special one your ex will drop from your mind.

 

It's your life, make it happy, you deserve more than feeling down about her.

 

Other girls will take your mind off her I promise.

 

I know I know. It's painful, but I know that it's gonna be more painful if I break it.

 

I'm not really in the dating mode yet. And I certainly won't hookup or anything like that. I want to be 100 percent before I do that stuff. I want to learn how to live and be happy by myself first ya know?

 

I just been hanging out with some of my friends, some girls. It helps a little bit.

[csman1411]

has it really been 3 months though since she contacted you? Our whole break up was about 4 months long but the longest i ever went without hearing something from her whether it may be small or big was probably 3 weeks

[Username37]

I hate how my ex girlfriend just changed because of her weight loss. I feel used. She's hooking up with guys that wouldn't have found her physically attractive if she was still fat. I stuck with her always. I didn't care if she was fat, or had pimples. Hell I would've stayed with her if she had to shave her head. I truly loved her and she showed her true colors once she lost weight.

 

You know how many jokes I've gotten. "Oh Username37 is a chubby chaser!" and even my family made fun of me because I dated a fat girl. But I didn't care because I loved her for her. She also told me "Why are you with me? I'm fat and ugly..." and I told her that I love you no matter what you looked like. And now...she's acting like a slut.

 

Doesn't this show that I truly cared about her and loved her?

 

I want to tell her this so bad. I want her to KNOW how pissed I am about this.

[Username37]

has it really been 3 months though since she contacted you? Our whole break up was about 4 months long but the longest i ever went without hearing something from her whether it may be small or big was probably 3 weeks

 

Well at the beginning we contacted each other a few times. She even invited me to her party and I comforted her on her b-day. Had hopes that we'll get back together. Then some **** happened at that party and I found out she rebounded at her friend's party that happened 3 weeks after the break up and that same day I gave her a second chance letter. She said no and I haven't spoken to her since June 20th (which was ironically the day we started talking to each other 2 years ago). I went NC the next day. So 2 months of NC and 3 months broken up.

 

Since that day, she posted this stupid poem about me on her tumblr (June 20th), sent me a birthday card and text (July 2nd) , sent me a text wondering when we'll be friends again (July 23rd), and she even tried skyping me (July 27th).