3 Hours to go

[buckeye]

Well, in 3 hours I will officially be single. It's odd, at this time I almost feel calm.

 

Maybe I'm cried out. I finally came to the conclusion that I was crying over someone who didn't exist any longer. I was crying more about all the dreams that have died. Even though there still remains a small portion of love for her, I don't think I could ever go back even if she asked.

 

My main worry is that I'll spend the rest of my life alone. I miss the companionship, the conversation, the intimacy. I won't miss the arguments, and the stress.

 

In my heart I hope she finds whatever she's looking for. I will have to work on getting over the bitterness of having lost pretty much everything and having to start over at this stage of my life.

[gobbleguts]

buckeye, I think everyone in this forum feels the same way you do. I for sure am afraid of being alone for the rest of my life. Slowly but surely though, as you start to feel better, you will realize that is highly unlikely. As you heal and re-develop your self esteem, you'll realize that you indeed are a "catch". You caught your stbx's attention right? So what if you're older and wiser, right? Still the same person. Maybe even better.

 

Good luck today Bud!!!!

[cavedweller]

The single life has it's good points:

 

1..You call 100% of the shots.

 

2..You control 100% of you money.

 

3..You can date who you want..

 

4..You can come and go and do as you please.

 

5..You answer to no one..

 

 

I am single, so, I know............

[collegemommy]

You won't be alone for the rest of your life... Focus on you for now, have a good time, and you'll find someone new when you least expect it.

 

I don't know your story but I hope everything goes well for you today!

[2sure]

Mine will be final in 3 weeks.

This is not where I wanted to be at this time in my life.

I dont have much of a visual of my future.

 

But I know this - I cant be afraid of it. I can have goals, have questions, valid concerns, etc. But not fear of being alone, fear of the unknown. Because those kinds of things are just part of a life, the remainder that can only remain unseen at this point.

 

Gotta go forward. Cant be afraid.

I'm working on it too.

[lupa]

I finally came to the conclusion that I was crying over someone who didn't exist any longer.

This.

 

I was crying more about all the dreams that have died.

This, too.

 

My main worry is that I'll spend the rest of my life alone.

Nope. No worries, mate.

In my heart I hope she finds whatever she's looking for.

Screw her, not your problem anymore.

 

I will have to work on getting over the bitterness of having lost pretty much everything and having to start over at this stage of my life.

Yup, but this is an incredible journey into really getting to know yourself and the world.

 

Allow me to present:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t238106/

 

 

Brother, when I showed up here last year, I was recently separated and terrified. Folks here know what they are talking about, have been through it, and you know what they said?

 

"Focus on yourself, and things will get better."

 

It is the toughest thing to understand until you have made it through, but damned if they weren't right, huh?

 

Understand that over time the memories will fade, the pain goes away, but the lessons are burned into you forever.

 

You will be strong because your soul will be hardened. You will know how to love because you have lived pain. You will wake up in the morning and think, "This day is the best day of my life, because every day before today, I was unequipped and unprepared to truly appreciate it, and the lesson I learn today will make tomorrow the best day of my life."

 

You will no longer float, you will no longer live in the pseudo-dream state. You will have earned every final piece of everything you have, it will be yours.

 

Your life, for the first time, will be yours.

 

You will be the King of the World, you've earned it, but only if you learn and grow and get better for this terrible experience.

[phineas]

Ya know what?

I felt that way once.

 

just thinking of all the things WE would never do...I'd wind up just sitting in the dark.

 

doing nothing.

 

Now?

15 months later, d-papers signed.

I can give a ratt's ass.

 

I'm enjoying being single.

Going out & spending time with different women.

And just having fun not worrying if they like me or not because I don't want a relationship & they know it.

 

granted, i'm not getting laid because these women tell me they don't want relationships based on sex. Fine. but since their not dates they can buy their own drinks. (hey, child support + daycare) isn't cheap.

 

On the negative side, it does get a little lonely not having someone in your life but if I had a GF could I sit on my back porch grilling, drinking a beer, smoking a cigar, & listening to whatever music I wanted to with my dog at my feet?

 

Probably not.

[buckeye]

Well, it's over. 10 Minutes there and 26 years written off. I have to admit it sitting there waiting to go in I was actually shaking. What a shame, what a loss. She wouldn't even give me 6 months to work it out. I know now she just didn't want me anymore. I feel so sad and empty.

 

I want to thank you all for your kind words of support. I'm so very grateful I found this place. I know someday I will feel better. Today is not that day.

[You Go Girl]

Hugs, buckeye.

 

You were a whole person with a soul, heart, and mind before you ever met her. You still are. Remember that little boy running through the grass--he's still you, and he never knew her.

You're still him!

We all know what today feels like for you, even if we haven't been there yet. It's a scary dark place in everybody's heart. But it doesn't have to own any of your tomorrows.

[lupa]

Well, it's over. 10 Minutes there and 26 years written off. I have to admit it sitting there waiting to go in I was actually shaking. What a shame, what a loss. She wouldn't even give me 6 months to work it out. I know now she just didn't want me anymore. I feel so sad and empty.

 

I want to thank you all for your kind words of support. I'm so very grateful I found this place. I know someday I will feel better. Today is not that day.

Sorry you are feeling down, but keep your chin up, my man.

 

You are allowed to grieve, you are allowed to hurt. You, however, are not allowed to let it consume you. Give it its time, acknowledge that it is there, and even try to understand why it is there.

 

...and then get up and start going. Where is not important at first, only that you are going. You will find, along the way, that every direction is up from where you are now, and most of those paths are the same one, just presented differently.

 

Start becoming a better you, not that you were a bad one, but a better one. One that has learned, and one that wants to be a better person, both stronger for yourself, and better to other people.

 

You only get one shot on this rock hurtling around the sun, and you are tasked with making the best of it.

[cavedweller]

buckeye,

 

There is life after divorce.......

[GorillaTheater]

Remember that little boy running through the grass--he's still you, and he never knew her.

You're still him!

 

This is freakin' GOLD. Thanks for this; it's the most meaningful thing to me I've read in quite a while.

[buckeye]

Thank you all once again for your kind support.

 

Y.G.G. It's kind of funny, I have known my ex since we were kids. Our mothers were high school friends, her parents babysat me before my ex was born. So this is like losing my second parents, I believe they know the whole story and they both have told me they love me and I will always be a son to them. I just think it would be too difficult to visit them

 

I know I will survive and that I'll heal and who knows what the future will bring. As for today, "this too shall pass". For an extra little stab in my heart, I heard Don Henely's "Heart of the Matter" on the way back from the Court House on the radio. Such a beautifully sad & true song.

[habs53]

Thank you all once again for your kind support.

 

Y.G.G. It's kind of funny, I have known my ex since we were kids. Our mothers were high school friends, her parents babysat me before my ex was born. So this is like losing my second parents, I believe they know the whole story and they both have told me they love me and I will always be a son to them. I just think it would be too difficult to visit them

 

I know I will survive and that I'll heal and who knows what the future will bring. As for today, "this too shall pass". For an extra little stab in my heart, I heard Don Henely's "Heart of the Matter" on the way back from the Court House on the radio. Such a beautifully sad & true song.

There is tons of beautiful people out there that would love to have a caring person. Her lose buddy. She will realize that soon enough. Take care of yourself and try to have fun.