Sudden urge to call the ex after 1.5 years.

[DonTomaso]

I broke up with my last girlfriend over 1.5 years ago. It was an intense 9 month relationship that ended after she moved abroad. For the next year, she and I tried to be friends while tousands of miles apart. Finally, one big argument ended it and she would no longer speak to me. I wanted to reconcile but she wanted nothing to do with me. She finally changed her cell phone number.... I got the hint and left her alone.

 

Since then, over 6 months have past. Then, tonight I had the sudden urge to call her. I didn't want to talk to her; I just wanted to see if she still lived in her apartment. Very nervously, I dialed her home phone number, got her anwering machine and hung up... I was shaking a little bit when I hung up.

 

I guess in the back of my heart I wish she would just call me sometime so we could clear the air between us.

 

Anway... I just wanted to get that off my chest... cheers!

[silk_sword]

do u feel u need closure? or do u miss her? be honest!

[DonTomaso]

Of course I miss certain things about her, but I don't want to get back together with her. We just had a special relationship and it's a shame that it ended on such a sour note. I feel at peace with pretty much everyone I know, except for her. I still think she is special and it would be nice to be able to call her 59 years from now when I'm old and gray... just wish we were friends.

[Arabess]

Dammit Man...I totally understand. It's hard to think you were so close to someone.....then it ends. Period. And you don't know what is happening in their life or what turns it took. Not because you want to re-instate the relationship.....but just because a part of you feels like you should KNOW.

 

You share each day, thought and feeling. Then all of a sudden, they become strangers. It leaves a void that's hard to explain.

 

I think there is something cool about waiting a long period of time....and then just 'checking in'. Again, not because you are trying to start up something...but because it validates that at one time.....you shared everything.

 

There's no good way of explaining it......you don't want anything FROM it.....you just need to know.

[pinkroses]

says it all:

 

"Dammit Man...I totally understand. It's hard to think you were so close to someone.....then it ends. Period. And you don't know what is happening in their life or what turns it took. Not because you want to re-instate the relationship.....but just because a part of you feels like you should KNOW.

 

You share each day, thought and feeling. Then all of a sudden, they become strangers. It leaves a void that's hard to explain.

 

I think there is something cool about waiting a long period of time....and then just 'checking in'. Again, not because you are trying to start up something...but because it validates that at one time.....you shared everything.

 

There's no good way of explaining it......you don't want anything FROM it.....you just need to know."

 

I am going through that same exact thing right now. I broke up about a month ago and we haven't talked at all. I don't know how he feels about anything or what's going on with him. I feel the need for some kind of validation or closure, and I'm not getting it. I don't understand how someone can act like you never even existed, when at one time you know they cared a lot. There have got to be some really heartless people out there, who should never be in a relationship.

[Ninja Extrordinaire]

For some people breaking up IS the closure. They feel that by doing that enough has been said and there is no more need to talk to you.

 

I'm like most people though, like yourself, who likes to know what the hell happened?

 

Just a few days ago I broke up with a girl who I was with for a short time (2 Months), just because I'm still friends with my Ex. I really don't think I'm going to cut all ties with someone I shared 2.5 years with and FINALLY managed to be friends with, just because someone I've been with for a couple months doesn't like the fact we hang out from time to time. There was never ANY chance of ANYTHING happening, but how do you prove that to someone who doesn't give you the chance?

 

Funny thing is she knew we were friends before we started dating.

 

Now she's reverted to the "Call me if you want" attitude, even though a week ago she was saying how lucky she was to found me.

 

<Sigh>...Don't you get tired of this stuff?

[matrixgenius]

I think that when your ex is acting like you never existed, in their mind you never did.

Maybe you were a toy for them, or maybe just a rebound thing that you replaced someone else for a while.

Maybe this is what they needed to cope with the loss of someone else. You just happen to be the unlucky sap who got tricked into loving them.

Maybe they feel bad for you because you were great, but you were always just a substitute for someone else.

And the truth is they never did love you, and it took a little too long to figure this out. They were trying to fill someone elses shoes with you, and in the process still loving them. Maybe not that they dont love you but they definitely love someone else more, and this someone else is definitely from their past. By the time they get over their ex and realize that it is you, you are in love with them, and they feel like they dont even know you.

So they leave you and date someone else, all the while doing the same thing to the new one, until they eventually find someone they actually love more than some previous person.

If you are not instantly better than someones ex, then you never really exist.

In reality if someone doesnt love you for who you are, not who you are replacing, then screw them anyhow.