hopesfall Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 Well, my girlfriend broke up with me last Sunday. We have been together for two years without any major fights (the little "you always make me choose where we eat" stuff). So our relationship has been extremely strong --- lots of talking, sex every once in awhile (when we are really passionate), and we have never spent a week without seeing each other once. Well for the last two weeks she hasn't talked to me at all, and if I call her she would try to get me off the phone immediately. Of course ... something's up! So being the guy that I am, I don't barge in on anything but rather let details show up through other sources. Well it turns out she has spent the last two weeks with a guy she claims to "love" and has only known him for the two weeks alone. The catch: he doesn't like her more than a friend. So I find out he had spent the night numerous times, but nothing happened (he is homeless). Well I try to give her space to see what happens. Eventually I get her to call me to talk, and I tell her I don't want to be hanging in the balance as her second option. She keeps saying "I am confused" and "I dont know" to every questions. She gave me those answers when I tried to confront her before. She never broke it off with me until this phone call, and she decided she wanted to end it ... but I sort of had to make her do it. It's like she wanted to keep it going, but didnt want to participate (strange). So of course I am devastated ... she was my everything. She contacts me Sunday night and this Monday night to just talk, but we eventually get into the relationship. I find out a couple things that give me hope but really hurt me: 1. She misses me. 2. She isn't sure if her decision is right 3. She has decided she wants to figure out the "what if" questions in her life 4. She is scared that I won't be there if she wants to come back So right now I am engaging in the "no contact" rule because to even talk to her hurts me (this girl was basically the "one" for me). But i am unsure if the "no contact" rule applies to my situation since she is scared that I wont be there. Does anyone have any advice on this situation. My fear is soley of losing her, but I am not sure if I should have hope. She is giving me somewhat mixed signals, and I am unsure if the "no contact" rule is helping me or hurting me right now. If you need anymore information to help me, please feel free to drop a message. And if u can give me advice, it would be much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Imagem Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 I know right now you are confused and a little afraid of losing her completely. Thats a scary place to be but I think you are on the right track. You have to give her space so she can see, feel and get in touch with her own emotions. You should not let anyone go in and out of your life on a whim. If love is there love will win. If this guy is homeless I'm not sure what she see's in the future of this relationship. Does she want to be a Mother figure to males? Or does she want compatability with a partner to share her life with? One that grows and only gets better. I always have said it's the warm and fussies of life that are so special so just keep your head up and your emotions in place. Stay her friend, let her contact you and if and when she decides the relationship with you is important be sure you let her know you don't want played in the future. She has to either grow up or your moving on with your life. Good luck !! Link to post Share on other sites
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