mannpho Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 It's been now 2 weeks since I spoke to and begged and all the usual pathetic crap for her to take me back. I have been so depressed, drinking etc. I posted in a previous thread the story. It may sound like nothing but here I was on Eh****y.com checking. One of the matches that came in from the computer was my ex. I couldn't even breathe right. My anxiety level shot up, I started to sweat. Im in my fifties. I know Im in no mental state to even date yet but felt the need to try. My first though was to send her an email telling her how funny we were matched up. I hope she would respond thinking it was funny too. All dreams of course. I know she could care less and Im sure since I received her she received me as a match. What to do? Im getting that same sick feeling of sending her an emotional email trying for her to give us a chance. Any ideas , thoughts? The demons are winning tonight. Weekends SUCK! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t239288/ Link to post Share on other sites
DenverBachelor Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 It may sound like nothing but here I was on Eh****y.com checking. One of the matches that came in from the computer was my ex. I couldn't even breathe right. My anxiety level shot up, I started to sweat. Im in my fifties. I know Im in no mental state to even date yet but felt the need to try. Well, that certainly sucks. I guess on the funny weird side, they probably did the same to her. Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 So sorry Mann, that kind of fate just sucks.... Just chalk it up to karma showing her she ****ed up and got it wrong...when is E******y ever wrong??? Link to post Share on other sites
starryeyed12 Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 Oh snap! That's awkward. But I wouldn't use it as an excuse to break NC, that won't help anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Shakz Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 Oh...............My......................God! That EH dude, the one who looks like a presbyterian minister, well he is Satan himself! Link to post Share on other sites
TuesGirl Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 This is one of the most f'ed up things I've read on this site...I'm sooo sorry! But just know that it affected her too... Link to post Share on other sites
Author mannpho Posted August 2, 2010 Author Share Posted August 2, 2010 I dont think the heartless bitch even clicked on my profile. The thing is her birthday is on the 6th a few days from now. I am so tempted to send her yet another emotional email and to wish her a Bday. You guys are right the min ister dude on the dating site is Satan. Seeing her made me cry so much knowing now that someone else will be with her and not me. Need help! Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 I dont think the heartless bitch even clicked on my profile. The thing is her birthday is on the 6th a few days from now. I am so tempted to send her yet another emotional email and to wish her a Bday. You guys are right the min ister dude on the dating site is Satan. Seeing her made me cry so much knowing now that someone else will be with her and not me. Need help! No more emotional emails! You can be emotional all you want with us, but if she is the heartless bitch you say, what good is it going to do? She quit you honey, she doesn't want to be with you. Now I am the heartless one....sorry. I know it is hard to think of her with someone else, so don't think about it!!! Start to work on yourself, some of your posts sound like you are quitting life and you are all washed up. Doesn't matter if you are 20, 50, or 80 you still have a life to live!!! Do something to make yourself feel good, work on yourself, your self-esteem, your well being. Sounds like you worried about her too much... You got this buddy, get yourself back... Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 OKCupid sent me my ex's best friend as the best match for me. I canceled my account. Link to post Share on other sites
mikezombie777 Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 I dont think the heartless bitch even clicked on my profile. The thing is her birthday is on the 6th a few days from now. I am so tempted to send her yet another emotional email and to wish her a Bday. You guys are right the min ister dude on the dating site is Satan. Seeing her made me cry so much knowing now that someone else will be with her and not me. Need help! I feel exactly the same way, my friend. A notification popped up on a dating site I was using saying my ex was viewing my profile. Knowing she could be with someone else sent me right down to hell. I'm having one of those days today where I just want to run to her house and talk to her. It F'ing sucks so bad. I kinda like this other girl and she likes me back, but I still can't stop thinking about my ex Link to post Share on other sites
cookie2 Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 I know it is hard to think of her with someone else, so don't think about it!!! I'm going to give opposite advice here. Think about her with someone else as often as possible, as graphically as possible. It hurts like **** at first but soon you get desensitized to it. I think it's a faster way to recovery than denial. It worked (or rather, it's working) for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 I'm guessing that closing out the match never occurred to you ? Did she close you out yet ? The other thing to remember is that EH matches you with people that aren't even currently using EH.. So she may not close you out becuase she has never seen the match.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mannpho Posted August 2, 2010 Author Share Posted August 2, 2010 I dont think the heartless bitch even clicked on my profile. The thing is her birthday is on the 6th a few days from now. I am so tempted to send her yet another emotional email and to wish her a Bday. You guys are right the min ister dude on the dating site is Satan. Seeing her made me cry so much knowing now that someone else will be with her and not me. Need help! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 I dont think the heartless bitch even clicked on my profile. The thing is her birthday is on the 6th a few days from now. I am so tempted to send her yet another emotional email and to wish her a Bday. You guys are right the min ister dude on the dating site is Satan. Seeing her made me cry so much knowing now that someone else will be with her and not me. Need help! WTF ? You call her a heartless bitch but then say you are going to send her an emotional email trying to get her back. Do you want a heartless bitch in your life ? Close her out and move on.. that way you don't have to drag yourself thru this anymore.. She isn't going to come running back to you becuase of some email you write.. in fact if you write it the chances are she will never read it and just delete it.. That is what happens to those types of emails.. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
user2011 Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 It DOES mean nothing Dating sites use algorithims, essentially finding patterns based on your interests likes a dislikes. Infact if you went out for any substantial period of time there was likley a reason WHY you got on in the first place. And the fact that it STILL thinks your a match is clear reasonsing that a website working of ones and zeros cannoy establish the complexities of attraction and matching. I have no problem with these sites but really there just working off user data. id find it wierd if this didnt happen to be honest. Dont read to much into it. IOf computers could solve the problems we have on this board i would have built one and charged you a dollar to use it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mannpho Posted August 3, 2010 Author Share Posted August 3, 2010 its august 3rd her bday is the 6th I bought a card and just signed it I dont know if I should mail it to her anyway. People talk to me this is the support network I rely on. So SAD! Link to post Share on other sites
bonpaw2008 Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 its august 3rd her bday is the 6th I bought a card and just signed it I dont know if I should mail it to her anyway. People talk to me this is the support network I rely on. So SAD! Mann - please do not send the card. If she is a heartless bitch - and even if she isn't your card will not mean anything to her. You call her names, but then you go crawling back? You are dependent on this woman, no matter how bad she treated you, because you have issues. Obvious to me you are still struggling with your wife's death and you either tried to transfer those feelings or gave your heart to someone that didn't deserve it. I know you are hurting, I think you need to go get some professional help to get you back....there are underlying issues that you need to deal with... Rip that card up, stop being dependent on someone that doesn't care about you, doesn't want you.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author mannpho Posted August 3, 2010 Author Share Posted August 3, 2010 I cant seem to be able to tear it up. I will bring it with me I just. I hope that maybe if she just shes my name. She might open up. I know Im dreaming. Deep down in her soul she might have some emotion for another human being. The feeling that she just used me as a companion for sex, going places makes me feel like a whore. Today is going to be a a bad day I can tell. Link to post Share on other sites
spriggig Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 I'm going to give opposite advice here. Think about her with someone else as often as possible, as graphically as possible. It hurts like **** at first but soon you get desensitized to it. I think it's a faster way to recovery than denial. It worked (or rather, it's working) for me. I second this. The quickest way past this is straight through. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mannpho Posted August 5, 2010 Author Share Posted August 5, 2010 It's August 4th and I broke down and mailed her a Bday card. I know this wont matter much to her it will piss her off knowing this pathetic jerk is still trying. I simply signed it as Miss you and Love You then my name. I cant like all of us here stay clear of the memories. They just creep in and stay and lurk around endlessly all day and night. All I seem to do is remember the good days with her. Holding her hand, cuddling, washing her dishes anything that kept me there with her. It's now 1 month and so many harsh and cruel words from her and Im still in my mind saying please take me back. I always log in to LS to allow NC. All of you here are a reminder to me to be strong. I also started therapy and meds to help with the depression and other health issues that have shown there ugly head at the same time. I am not a religious person but I find myself begging for some relief from this pain. I stay on LS reading all posts from everyone for inspiration but deep down I crave for her to call me and show me that she had feelings for me and that she wants to try once more. I know this is just a dream I have. IT SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS so much. Is there a time when we do try to communicate with them? Or when they dump us with such anger, and hatred they were harboring these feelings for a long time and all they needed was any small excuse to rip us apart and move on. I know Im on a rant but I figured Im better writing here then sending her yet another emotional packed email that wont get me anywhere. Have there been others that did break NC and get back with the EX? Or is that only ingiven me the movies. If she only had given me the time in person to talk and without telling me so many hurtful things maybe it could be a bit easier. She simply attacked me to my core about the things I did during our vacation like not taking hr to certain restaurants etc. Anyway Im getting tired and will go to sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mannpho Posted August 7, 2010 Author Share Posted August 7, 2010 Well August 6 came. I was leaving group therapy since my head is F''''''D up. Everyone told me dont mail the birthday card. I did. I believed all she would do is open it read it and thrash. All I said in the card was I miss you and I love you. I never expected any communication which was making me sad to be begin with. 2:00pm at work and I get a text. "Thank you for the card it was nice" Boy am I am a basket case. Does it mean anything, is it a form of communication, should I texted back? I didn't to anything just NC. I get home at I managed to due a whole bottle of wine along with 2 anxiety oills. I ried a lot< I then called a friend for 2 hours and and talked. He spoke to ne even though I was drunk. Im tempted to tex her now to ask how she's doing but Im afraid. I hate being alive. Link to post Share on other sites
mickleb Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 You'll be needing to print this off and stick on your wall, I reckon, mannpho: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81399/ Let it become your new religion. Take care. x Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts