OliveOyl Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 My husband and I have been separated for six months and we recently decided that we are not planning to reconcile. We only live a mile apart and share parenting duties (I take care of our younger child, who is disabled, and our other child, now a teen, lives with him). No paperwork has been filed yet although we will probably head down that route. There was great shock of course when at the end of last year I announced I wanted to separate, but now my STBX ("sometime" more likely than "soon") and I get along *very* well... much better than we did when we were living together. We are still very good friends, see each other at least once a week (sharing parenting duties, etc.) and it feels like on both our ends, the animosity that had been building up has been falling away, and our conversations are more real and supportive of each other. I don't take this as a sign we should reconcile at all (and he has made no attempt to reconcile as well) but just that we are better living apart than together, for a variety of reasons. I was just wondering if there are other other "amicable" splits like I have experienced so far, most of the stories here are negative but I've been amazed at how amicable our split has been. The day we decided our marriage had really ended, we were actually making jokes and laughing with each other. Really. Link to post Share on other sites
spriggig Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 ...There was great shock of course when at the end of last year I announced I wanted to separate... I don't take this as a sign we should reconcile at all (and he has made no attempt to reconcile as well)... "There was great shock...", you mean HE was shocked? "...he has made no attempt to reconcile...", but it hasn't been discussed openly one way or the other? You might be fooling yourself here. Just sayin'. Amicable meaning you both fully agree that this is the best thing, or that you two aren't fighting. Maybe he's being so "amicable" because he wants to reconcile but sees clearly that you don't and so hasn't tried. Not quite the same picture. But, the end result for you is the same, so yeah, "amicable". Link to post Share on other sites
Author OliveOyl Posted August 2, 2010 Author Share Posted August 2, 2010 Yes, clearly, he was the one shocked, since I was the one who left. Although I had given signs (we went to marriage counseling for a few times, etc. etc.) It HAS been discussed openly and we both *agreed* that, for all intents and purposes, the marriage is over. Not fooling myself. He has made no attempt to reconcile. Maybe he considered it or even wanted to, but if so, he made no outward motion (verbally, or any other way) toward reconciliation. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 I had an amicable split five years ago. exH and I live about a mile apart, he lives with his girlfriend and I am going to be moving in with my boyfriend before too long. We all know each other, all get along, etc. We are more like extended family than we are divorcees. We are still not legally divorced though. Our case got thrown out a week ago because we tried to do it pro se and apparently the judge prefers it done by a lawyer even though we had all our bases covered. We could stay like this indefinitely but we are both moving on with our lives with other people and it wouldn't be fair to our SOs to stay legally married. Link to post Share on other sites
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