Am I just being paranoid?

[BubbleFreak]

I'm sorry this will be a long post, so thanks if you do read it, and I'd like some opinions.

 

Four years ago a cousin the same age as me moved from overseas to live with my family while she studied. I made lots of effort to be nice to her and welcoming and in the beginning we got on ok together. But then, things started to get weird. I started to notice things that many others in my direct family refused to believe.

 

First off, I noticed how much she would suck up to my parents and brothers. She would be all touchy feely, tell them how much she loved them, try to be super helpful etc to their faces. but then (because I was in the room next to hers) I would overhear her at night time bitching about my family to whoever she was talking to on the phone. She sounded like a totally different person. That's when I started getting suspicious.

 

That year she arrived she was struggling with her studies, and I offered to help her since I had gotten high distinctions for those subjects she was finding so difficult. But she didn't want my help. Instead, she started having this guy come over a lot saying he was helping her study, and at night time I would hear her bitching about him again to whoever was on the phone. She would say how easy he was to mould and how it showed he wasn't much of a man. Well, by the end of the year she was married to him and she had dropped out of her course. I guess it makes me suspect she had ulterior motives for moving from overseas- not to study but to get married and become a citizen.

 

So fast track to 4 years later, and I have built up a ton of evidence that I seem to notice but my direct family members do not see. And I'm sure it's a mutual disliking now between my cousin and I, coupled with competition that I unwillingly become involved in. Such as..

 

I was playing with my 2 year old nephew pushing trucks around and my cousin was trying to squeeze my nephew's cheeks. The kid only likes certain people and moved closer to me and away from her. So, she stood there watching us play for a while, and then suddenly she kicked a truck out of my hand and said it was an accident.

 

She asked me if I was going to make a cake for my dad's birthday party. I said yes I was making the cake. The day of the party she rocked up with a birthday cake too that she had obviously put a lot of effort into... and was beaming when people complimented her. I took my cake out of the fridge, and she looked absolutely furious that mine was better. When others asked her about her cake, she would say that oh she was bored that morning, just threw it together. When I asked her anything about it, she ignored me. Later on, when only my bf was in hearing range, my cousin hissed at me, "No one is going to touch your cake!"

 

On any celebration day, including my own birthday, she will shower my direct family members with expensive gifts and my parents and brothers adore her. When she gives me expensive presents, I'm sure it's just for show and makes her look like the most generous, delightful person in the world. One time I refused to accept a gift, and my family thought I was being rude and tried to make me apologise to her.

 

What sickens me is she kisses my dad on the face, snuggles up to him, tells him she loves him in front of me and constantly points out women she thinks he should marry. Am I the only one that thinks this is gross and inappropriate? I don't know if this has to do with anything, but my dad is terminally ill.

 

Her parents came to visit her from overseas, and that's when I found out that I'm not the only one that thinks she behaves strangely. Her own dad decided to go back overseas 2 weeks early, because he couldn't stand his own daughter. She treats her own parents with rudeness and disrespect but they seem like lovely people to me. Everyone in my family think my cousin is absolutely wonderful though. My cousin and I have many similarities- we both have two older brothers, we are both the youngest in the family, we are the same age as each other. It almost feels as though... she failed with her own family back overseas and has made a new life for herself here, pushing me out of the picture and taking my place.

 

Am I just being paranoid? What should I do?

[bubbles5]

Yes there are such cousins who like such competitons and I would say dont react she will try all possible things to irritate u. And why she is being so good to your family is bcos your cousins family have left her so she is trying to replace your parents as her parents bcos she has not recieved that parental care from her real family so if she goes over the line then u can call ur cousins parents n try to be too good with them if she messes with u too much do a mirror actions with her. Likewise if she being over sweet with ur mum then u could always call cousins mum n be sweet n nice n make sure u talk to her in front of her. My point is if she tries to be too smart with you u better teach her lesson. And u can always tell ur parents that they dont give you more attention than your cousin gets.

[BubbleFreak]

Thanks bubbles5, I actually thought my thread was dead, good to have one reply She irritates me, I just ignore her now and she can behave however she wants. I'm too busy with my own life to waste anymore energy on her.