I just bumped into the Ex!!!!!

[skydiveaddict]

Is that your confession to running away?

 

 

.

 

 

Probably so

[bonpaw2008]

Glad you are positive smk.

 

My day has hit the fan. Found out ex was seeing a new guy. Text her saying I won't bother her anymore and that I'll disappear. I didn't tell her I know about the new guy. I am so depressed right now. When she broke up with me she told me she wanted to be single and not have a relationship right now because of all the stuff she is going through and broke up with me and now a few weeks later is having a new guy come around. I wish I was dead right now. My feelings and emotions cannot handle this anymore.

 

She text me back saying she needs her freedom right now and thought things were good between us.

 

I didn't reply and in fact, I am deleting the text right now. I want to take a hammer to my head so badly, I ****ing hate this more than anything else in the world. I am still shaking from finding out and that was almost 4 hours ago

 

Thorgs, I am so sorry....what happened to NC?

[Thorgs]

Thorgs, I am so sorry....what happened to NC?

I wrote her a letter basically saying thank you and goodbye. This past Tuesday she emailed me a letter at 5AM. I text her back saying thank you. We text for about an hour and she randomly sent me a topless picture, which mind****ed the **** out of me. Then she text me when I was at work asking to go to lunch with her and her daughters. I went and we all had a good time. Didn't talk to her for a couple days. Went for a run and came up on her and her ex husband arguing in a parking lot. She saw me as she was driving down the street. She text me an hour later asking to come out to dinner with her and her daughters. I went. She flirted with me and asked me to come hang with her for a little bit at her house. I went. She asked for a kiss and I couldn't resist. I've been so lonely and my life is at rock bottom. I left there feeling great thinking things might work out. Didn't hear from her for a few days. Had an extremely bad weekend and text her asking if I could take one of her dogs for a few hours for company and told her I was having a hard time. Didn't talk to her for a few days and she text me today when she was in class saying she was bored. I text her back saying if she wants a "pic" to let me know. She replied, "k". Wow, ouch. I text her daughter who loves me asking if she's been seeing someone else and asked if she's trying to get over me. She said yes and yes. I went past rock bottom. I'm supposed to bring her daughter to camp tomorrow so she has something to do. So I text the ex back saying that I know she's trying to get over me and I wont ever bother her again. After I drop her daughter off tomorrow I wont anymore and I will disappear. She replied saying she thought everything was good between us, but I didn't write back. I am dying right now. I have never felt this low in my life :'(

 

Sorry for hijacking your thread smk. I won't anymore.

Edited August 4, 2010 by Thorgs

[MJEW]

 

Wow it's all sort of settling in now but I am not going to let it set me back, I will feel the pain, I will accept it, and move forward, I refuse to go back to 7 weeks ago, I have cried too many tears to go back...

 

SMK...and that's what you have to do.....accept it..move forward and don't let go of the time you have spent to better yourself.

 

Way to go....keep strong.

[Username37]

Good job man. Hopefully I'll be strong when I see my ex in a few weeks.

[HighPlainsDrifter]

Glad you are positive smk.

 

My day has hit the fan. Found out ex was seeing a new guy. Text her saying I won't bother her anymore and that I'll disappear. I didn't tell her I know about the new guy. I am so depressed right now. When she broke up with me she told me she wanted to be single and not have a relationship right now because of all the stuff she is going through and broke up with me and now a few weeks later is having a new guy come around. I wish I was dead right now. My feelings and emotions cannot handle this anymore.

 

She text me back saying she needs her freedom right now and thought things were good between us.

 

I didn't reply and in fact, I am deleting the text right now. I want to take a hammer to my head so badly, I ****ing hate this more than anything else in the world. I am still shaking from finding out and that was almost 4 hours ago

 

 

Bro... I think we are going through basically the same effing thing. I don't know what the nature of my ex and this new guys relationship is, but I can only imagine. I screwed up again when I was biking tonight and rode by this new guys house and her car is over there after not being there last night. I'm on one week of NC starting tomorrow.

 

I know it's hard as hell. Feel free to post in my So I'm back to day one NC thread. I'm so there right with you.

 

I want answers and this $hit makes no sense. This guy isn't half the man I am and this is BS... But she's there...

 

It's gonna take a while to get better. I don't know how much help I can be, but I'll do whatever I can.

 

Sorry man...

[smk]

@ everyone - Wow ok – so it has been an awkward night – lots of emotions running through my head, all those feelings I had have come flooding back into my mind – and I crave her, I want to run my hands through her, I want to embrace her, I want to just be in her presence… I wont do it, but its just everything I had worked so hard to stop feeling seems to be rushing back to me…

 

As I type this my phone rings, and guess who it is her – I didn’t answer but my heart skipped a beat when I saw it, she leaves me a voicemail saying that I have received some mail at her house and asking what she should do it – then I get a text from her asking if I got the jacket that I had left at her house and telling me that she had put a card that I had forgotten at hers in the pocket and how she knows that I don’t look in my pockets most times….

 

I remember reading in someone’s post the other day, how just when we begin to make progress they seem to crop up – wow coincidence I don’t know. I know it felt great hearing her voice on the voicemail – and I know I should have deleted the voicemail straight away but I didn’t. the way she spoke, her tone of voice was the same as when we were together…. ****….. I am not going to go back – I am not going to do anything – I am going to simply tell her what to do with it and carry on… but **** me – my anxiety is back, I my eyes seem to be welling up… the only way I go back is if she comes to me – I am not going to make that first step…..

 

 

“Smk, sometimes I wonder if the world is really all that small that coincidences as yours happen”

 

Yeah I wonder too paper – I leave work 10 mins late everyday just so I can be sure that things like this don’t happen…

 

MB – thank you – but I presume after reading this you may take your words back???

 

@ Thorgs

 

Buddy we will always have setbacks – read the events that have transpired above, but I refuse to go back and through all this pain all over again – yeah seeing her, her phoning me this morning, texting me this morning – has all put my head in a spin – I even had a cigarette after 3 weeks – but you know what I refuse to go through the last 7 weeks again… I wont do it – I have been to the deepest darkest depths of hell, and yeah maybe coincidence that I see her just as I start moving forward, but you know what life is full of them and we cant sit there and look for subliminal meaning in all of them…

 

I am really sorry to hear about you finding out that she is seeing someone new, but maybe just maybe, try and look at the positive spin on this – she lied to you about wanting to be alone yet here she is with another guy – do you really want to be with someone who lies to you? I know I wouldn’t. they say that the truth is always bitter but unfortunately that’s what it is. Go NC – stick to it – and focus on yourself, I know its easier said than done – you have no idea how much I am struggling right now after the event of yesterday, but I flat out refuse to go back to that suffering. Sure I wish right now that I could lock myself in a dark room and never have to leave, but you know what the world hasn’t stopped revolving because of this.

 

It must be hell for you right now, but be strong buddy – it will only get worse before it gets better, and TBH it possibly could not get any worse (I mean that with the best of intentions) – the only way for you is up now…

 

 

@ User – you will be buddy – you have been NC for a while and haven’t broken it, that’s the strength you need to keep tapping into…

 

@ HPD – bro its not gonna be easy as I have said before, look at me today, as strong a resolve as I put up in front of her yesterday, today I am all over the friggin place – my mind is running in a thousand different directions, my heart is still beating at a million beats per second, I have a huge presentation to do at a client today and she calls and texts this morning. Just when I thought after yesterday I was making great progress she came back into my life – and yeah it feels like crap, I miss her so much, but I refuse to go through the pain all over again. I want to phone her up right now and ask for answers, I want to text her and tell her how much I still love her, but I am not going to – I am not in a place to take the risk of going through everything again. If she wants me back she knows where to find me – she broke it off so she needs to make the first step to reconciliation. And I am not going to live my life in the hopes of that happening.

 

I have too much work to do on myself to let anyone **** with my emotions… buddy be strong you will get there – find that strength within yourself and tap into it… you will have bad days but you soon enough you will have more good days than bad ones…

 

We are all here for you…

[DenverBachelor]

As I type this my phone rings, and guess who it is her – I didn’t answer but my heart skipped a beat when I saw it, she leaves me a voicemail saying that I have received some mail at her house and asking what she should do it – then I get a text from her asking if I got the jacket that I had left at her house and telling me that she had put a card that I had forgotten at hers in the pocket and how she knows that I don’t look in my pockets most times….

 

Well isn't she a saint for making sure you get your mail, your jacket and also making sure you check the pockets of your jacket. She's such a good gir ... oh wait, she dumped you, broke your heart and crushed your spirit.

 

Don't return her calls, don't return her texts and definitely don't check your pockets. You're a guy -- I never check my pockets, either. My pockets have holes in them where all my money seems to fall from. We're "guys."

 

She needs to STFU and give you space. She's not helping you at all. All she is doing is throwing you elaborate bread crumbs and trying to hook you and reel you in to her "friend zone."

 

She can take her friend zone and shove it up her ass. You're not in a position to think clearly right now and she knows this. She knows she has power over you because she broke up with you. She knows you want her back so she's using this to her advantage. She was probably stalking you at the train station so she could get her claws deep into your dumpee carnage and hook you into an everlasting spot within her own personal hell that is reserved just for powerless ex's.

 

Are you going to let her dominate you? Are you going to let her "pretend" to care? If she cared, she never would have broken up with you. She's probably banging some guy right now with a big smile on her face due to the realization that you will soon be in her back pocket as an emergency blow-up boyfriend doll when her current relationship doesn't pan out.

 

Stay far away from her and don't check your pockets. She probably put a vial of stupid potion in there just waiting for you to get it all over your skin and then she'll swoop in for the kill.

 

Watch your back.

[smk]

Well isn't she a saint for making sure you get your mail, your jacket and also making sure you check the pockets of your jacket. She's such a good gir ... oh wait, she dumped you, broke your heart and crushed your spirit.

 

Don't return her calls, don't return her texts and definitely don't check your pockets. You're a guy -- I never check my pockets, either. My pockets have holes in them where all my money seems to fall from. We're "guys."

 

She needs to STFU and give you space. She's not helping you at all. All she is doing is throwing you elaborate bread crumbs and trying to hook you and reel you in to her "friend zone."

 

She can take her friend zone and shove it up her ass. You're not in a position to think clearly right now and she knows this. She knows she has power over you because she broke up with you. She knows you want her back so she's using this to her advantage. She was probably stalking you at the train station so she could get her claws deep into your dumpee carnage and hook you into an everlasting spot within her own personal hell that is reserved just for powerless ex's.

 

Are you going to let her dominate you? Are you going to let her "pretend" to care? If she cared, she never would have broken up with you. She's probably banging some guy right now with a big smile on her face due to the realization that you will soon be in her back pocket as an emergency blow-up boyfriend doll when her current relationship doesn't pan out.

 

Stay far away from her and don't check your pockets. She probably put a vial of stupid potion in there just waiting for you to get it all over your skin and then she'll swoop in for the kill.

 

Watch your back.

 

I didnt return the call but i replied to the text and told her told her to leave my mail at the office and that I would pick it up...

 

Yeah I know what you mean, I am not going to go back there, I have worked to ****ing hard to have my head ****ed up again...

 

She knows I got the jacket, because my partner told her that I got it - hell I just put the jacket in the back of my closet and forgot about it, and had no intention of ever using it either.

 

She made the choice to leave, let her now deal with the consequences... I have and still am suffering and you know what I refuse to continue prolonging my suffering... Sure it was a flood of things coming into my head when I saw her and her call this AM and her text...

[HighPlainsDrifter]

@ HPD – bro its not gonna be easy as I have said before, look at me today, as strong a resolve as I put up in front of her yesterday, today I am all over the friggin place – my mind is running in a thousand different directions, my heart is still beating at a million beats per second, I have a huge presentation to do at a client today and she calls and texts this morning. Just when I thought after yesterday I was making great progress she came back into my life – and yeah it feels like crap, I miss her so much, but I refuse to go through the pain all over again. I want to phone her up right now and ask for answers, I want to text her and tell her how much I still love her, but I am not going to – I am not in a place to take the risk of going through everything again. If she wants me back she knows where to find me – she broke it off so she needs to make the first step to reconciliation. And I am not going to live my life in the hopes of that happening.

 

I have too much work to do on myself to let anyone **** with my emotions… buddy be strong you will get there – find that strength within yourself and tap into it… you will have bad days but you soon enough you will have more good days than bad ones…

 

We are all here for you…

 

Morning SMK,

 

I kinda figured the wave of emotions were going to flood you after the run in yesterday. There was simply no other option after something like that. I'm proud of you for staying so strong. I wouldn't be able to do that at this stage. Very proud of you SMK.

 

I had some more stuff happen to me last night, but I won't thread jack here. I will post back in my ridiculously long thread. I will simply say thank you so much for your support, and I got your back as well. Good luck with your presentation and kudos for your strength SMK. It is truely inspiring.

[bonpaw2008]

@ everyone - Wow ok – so it has been an awkward night – lots of emotions running through my head, all those feelings I had have come flooding back into my mind – and I crave her, I want to run my hands through her, I want to embrace her, I want to just be in her presence… I wont do it, but its just everything I had worked so hard to stop feeling seems to be rushing back to me…

 

As I type this my phone rings, and guess who it is her – I didn’t answer but my heart skipped a beat when I saw it, she leaves me a voicemail saying that I have received some mail at her house and asking what she should do it – then I get a text from her asking if I got the jacket that I had left at her house and telling me that she had put a card that I had forgotten at hers in the pocket and how she knows that I don’t look in my pockets most times….

 

I remember reading in someone’s post the other day, how just when we begin to make progress they seem to crop up – wow coincidence I don’t know. I know it felt great hearing her voice on the voicemail – and I know I should have deleted the voicemail straight away but I didn’t. the way she spoke, her tone of voice was the same as when we were together…. ****….. I am not going to go back – I am not going to do anything – I am going to simply tell her what to do with it and carry on… but **** me – my anxiety is back, I my eyes seem to be welling up… the only way I go back is if she comes to me – I am not going to make that first step…..

 

I know that feeling.... I miss the affection, the touching, the "hysterical bonding" (God I love that term!!) but you saw her yesterday and stayed strong, so you know that you are on the right track.

 

I hate that one contact (or three in my case over the last two days) is enough to send us into a spin. I have to keep thinking that the contact is his way of keeping a hook in me and that if he wanted me back he would not be texting meaningless things to me, he would be begging to get me back. He doesn't want me but he doesn't want to lose me either, ****ing selfish pricks....they need to just let us go and stop ****ing with us and let us heal!!!!

 

Well isn't she a saint for making sure you get your mail, your jacket and also making sure you check the pockets of your jacket. She's such a good gir ... oh wait, she dumped you, broke your heart and crushed your spirit.

 

Don't return her calls, don't return her texts and definitely don't check your pockets. You're a guy -- I never check my pockets, either. My pockets have holes in them where all my money seems to fall from. We're "guys."

 

She needs to STFU and give you space. She's not helping you at all. All she is doing is throwing you elaborate bread crumbs and trying to hook you and reel you in to her "friend zone."

 

She can take her friend zone and shove it up her ass. You're not in a position to think clearly right now and she knows this. She knows she has power over you because she broke up with you. She knows you want her back so she's using this to her advantage. She was probably stalking you at the train station so she could get her claws deep into your dumpee carnage and hook you into an everlasting spot within her own personal hell that is reserved just for powerless ex's.

 

Are you going to let her dominate you? Are you going to let her "pretend" to care? If she cared, she never would have broken up with you. She's probably banging some guy right now with a big smile on her face due to the realization that you will soon be in her back pocket as an emergency blow-up boyfriend doll when her current relationship doesn't pan out.

 

Stay far away from her and don't check your pockets. She probably put a vial of stupid potion in there just waiting for you to get it all over your skin and then she'll swoop in for the kill.

 

Watch your back.

 

Denver - as always you are entertaining and unbelievably correct. We all deserve more than bread crumbs and useless, meaningless conversation...

[cookie2]

"hysterical bonding" (God I love that term!!)

Not sure you're using that term quite correctly... it's the act of sex after finding out your SO has had an affair...

[bonpaw2008]

Not sure you're using that term quite correctly... it's the act of sex after finding out your SO has had an affair...

 

No, I think it is sex or intimacy after fighting, breaking up, etc. or just the enormous need to be with that person or someone else to make yourself feel better.....

 

And sorry if I stold your term and used it for my own purposes and situation

Edited August 4, 2010 by bonpaw2008

[smk]

No, I think it is sex or intimacy after fighting, breaking up, etc. or just the enormous need to be with that person or someone else to make yourself feel better.....

 

And sorry if I stold your term and used it for my own purposes and situation

 

How I miss the intimacy, at the moment I can't seem to picture it with anyone else, I simply just want her, I am not going to do anything about it, by goddamnit she caused my loins to stir yesterday... Lol... Even just seeing her brought back the memories of our intimate moments.... Those I truly miss...

[HighPlainsDrifter]

How I miss the intimacy, at the moment I can't seem to picture it with anyone else, I simply just want her, I am not going to do anything about it, by goddamnit she caused my loins to stir yesterday... Lol... Even just seeing her brought back the memories of our intimate moments.... Those I truly miss...

 

Right there with you SMK. Crazy how that works.

I've been programmed to just want to be with her.

Even with a different naked woman lying next to me last night.

Now that's just nuts...

[smk]

Yeah I know, Even with girls I only dated and not eclusively I could not bring myself to be with someone else, if I am with someone irrespective even if its just casual I wouldn't go to anyone else...

 

I can still picture her naked body lying next to me in bed, wow it drives me insane, running my hands through her hair, kissing her neck, stroking her back.... Ok gotta keep this pg13... Lol...

[cookie2]

No, I think it is sex or intimacy after fighting, breaking up, etc. or just the enormous need to be with that person or someone else to make yourself feel better.....

I'm just going by google... never heard the term before I saw you use it a few days back so I looked it up

[bonpaw2008]

Yeah I know, Even with girls I only dated and not eclusively I could not bring myself to be with someone else, if I am with someone irrespective even if its just casual I wouldn't go to anyone else...

 

I can still picture her naked body lying next to me in bed, wow it drives me insane, running my hands through her hair, kissing her neck, stroking her back.... Ok gotta keep this pg13... Lol...

 

Yea - girls miss this too, just as much probably....you only want to be with her because she is the one that you felt so many other things for....it will pass, just like the flu

[smk]

Yea - girls miss this too, just as much probably....you only want to be with her because she is the one that you felt so many other things for....it will pass, just like the flu

 

Yeah I know I have begun my flu medicine and sooner or later it will pass... I think that was my hormones playing up a little. lol...

 

Gotta admit though the contact from her this morning hasn't screwed me up as bad as I thought it would - I have just kept busy with work, and tried not to think about it and it seems to work...

 

Still the odd thought will pop in and I just leg it pass... This is about me and what I am doing for me and not about her...

[bonpaw2008]

Yeah I know I have begun my flu medicine and sooner or later it will pass... I think that was my hormones playing up a little. lol...

 

Gotta admit though the contact from her this morning hasn't screwed me up as bad as I thought it would - I have just kept busy with work, and tried not to think about it and it seems to work...

 

Still the odd thought will pop in and I just leg it pass... This is about me and what I am doing for me and not about her...

 

I know a thing or two about hormones, ask anyone about a 40 year old woman and her hormones... another prime reason why I am in the spot, not wanting to lose the regular sex that was attached to a dysfuctional man and relationship....

[HighPlainsDrifter]

Yeah I know I have begun my flu medicine and sooner or later it will pass... I think that was my hormones playing up a little. lol...

 

Gotta admit though the contact from her this morning hasn't screwed me up as bad as I thought it would - I have just kept busy with work, and tried not to think about it and it seems to work...

 

Still the odd thought will pop in and I just leg it pass... This is about me and what I am doing for me and not about her...

 

Good for you SMK. I admire you being able to not let this get to you. For me it's like when she contacts me, I'm good and can really focus on other things for a while, but then when a day or two goes by (like 7), it starts to become all consuming.

 

Keep up your great attitude and I'm proud of you man!

[Ilovecake]

I had to go for a very long run to shake that off...

 

I played it very cool, calm and composed, acted as though she was just another acquaintance, nothing special, all the while feeling the adrenaline being pumped through my veins, had I stayed in her presence much longer I don't know how I would have been but as soon as I walked away I started shaking and shivering, then I just felt like I was in shock... It all fame out during my run though, the whole range of emotions from anger, to bargaining, to denial, I have been through them all in the last hour. All I can say is wow... I am not going to take this as anything - it was a chance encounter and that's it - if she texts or calls I am ignoring it - no way hose and going to put myself through the last 7 weeks again...

 

Sounds to me like you're properly moving on. Keep at it.

[smk]

HPD - oh but it DID get to me, it still ****ing gets to me that I let someone have so much ****ing power over me, it ****ing gets to me that I was ****ing stupid enough to give another person so much ****ing power to destroy me with 3 words - "I love you"...

 

I will move forward from this, yes I still love her, more with each moment that passes, but she LEFT me, so why should I beat myself up??? It's her loss... **** it, I am and I will climb out of this abysmal Pitt of despair and I will become stronger , and I will live my life, because its mine to live...

 

 

**** 'em, she didn't kill me, so I can only become stronger .....

[bonpaw2008]

HPD - oh but it DID get to me, it still ****ing gets to me that I let someone have so much ****ing power over me, it ****ing gets to me that I was ****ing stupid enough to give another person so much ****ing power to destroy me with 3 words - "I love you"...

 

I will move forward from this, yes I still love her, more with each moment that passes, but she LEFT me, so why should I beat myself up??? It's her loss... **** it, I am and I will climb out of this abysmal Pitt of despair and I will become stronger , and I will live my life, because its mine to live...

 

 

**** 'em, she didn't kill me, so I can only become stronger .....

 

You are so strong, the theme of the day is power, let's get the power back....

[smk]

"power" and "love" the only two words in the dictionary that can make or destroy a person or a nation for that matter....

 

PAW - on a serious note **** it, there is only one way left for me to go, if this break were to kill me then it would have and since it hasn't the only say left for me is to become stronger... Yes I still love her (as I keep on rambling repeatedly) but she left me, and there is nothing else left for ms to do but move on...