does she regret or is she just worried about money?

[You Go Girl]

"why did i have to love her so much? "

 

Well because you're capable of that much love, that's why. You didn't hold back on your love. And why would you have? You didn't see the stinker coming from years away, she was sweet as pie.

 

I've been jerked around myself a few times. I'm starting to get an attitude. Starting-hello--got one.

 

I don't know who are all these people who go through life lying to everybody. What the hell is wrong with them? They all have mental problems.

 

You have to shrug it off. I know that sounds impossible. But she doesn't give a rat's arse. She's deep in lust and that's how it's going to stay for quite awhile, until it blows up in her face or whatever happens. It's time to cop an attitude. You don't have to lash out, but you sure do have to realize that you are a worthy person and that she more than likely, as people point out here time and time again, traded down. And yeah, I know it's hard to imagine now, but somewhere out there is a wonderful woman who maybe has had her heart stomped on too and understands, and is sitting at home lonely right now waiting for the day when she meets you. So it doesn't end with your tbx. There's love in your future, it just is waiting for you to be ready.

 

You have 4 kids that love you. They need their daddy. Take some time in that room by yourself, then think about how that little girl needs to know that her daddy isn't angry at her for staying at that house, that he doesn't blame her in anyway, that he doesn't hold her guilty by association. And make sure the other one knows it too. I don't know the age of the other young one, but maybe it's the quiet one that doesn't show it feels guilty by association and keeps it inside.

 

I'm having a crappy lonely stinking night by myself again too. At least you have 4 kids around who love you! I have the tv and the radio and LS tonight for company. humph!

How about a pillow fight tonight with those 4? Popcorn and a scary movie cuddling up on the couch together? Those little arms wrapped in yours will make all the carp she's sent your way go away...something good did come out of it all...those 2 little people who adore you.

[tank]

ygg, thanks for the encouragement. just so you know, my little girl doesnt think i was mad at her. she just thought i need some time to myself. I didnt spend time with them last night, i just couldnt keep my emotions in check long enough. i did however lay beside both of them last night while they slept. They both woke up long enough to know i was there and smile. My ex has sent me messages about how they all had such a good time, that it was all the kids idea. My kids wouldnt know this guy from adam, they did what their mother wanted and suggested. It didnt go unnoticed by me that she did this with just the 2 youngest, she didnt do it when she had the oldest 2 cause she knows it wouldnt be so easy. She knows my 14 yr old step son, just asked me not to do anything before christmas, he asked me to promise i wouldnt give up until then. I have to look this kids in the eye everyday, i have to give them the security they need, how do i tell my 14 yr old i cant do what he wants, i cant keep waiting and leaving myself open for more pain. He has been through this twice. How do i tell him, i give up?

As for me, well, i just give up on women, if the women i have loved for so long can do this, i sure as hell will not open myself up to someone else. It looks like i am set to become a bitter man. I just dont get how a women can change so much, how she can leave her 4 children and be okay with it, be okay with introducing them to the man who was more important, to the man that contributed to ruinind a family. any spouse out there that is in my wifes shoes, shame on you, you made a committment, honour it. To many people choose to walk away and ignore what they have committed to, no wonder the world is so messed up. People's word means nothing anymore. My dad taught me that my word dictates who i am, so be careful what i say, cause no matter what, i must live up to it. With out my word i am nothing. I sure wish my wife had learned the same lesson, as well as many other prople out there.

[What_Next]

Tank there is no one here on LS that I empathize with more than you. What she has done to you is one of the worst examples of betrayal that I have ever read. I am blown away by what she has done to you.

 

You are a stronger man that I am to have weathered this storm and I can say that some day, some woman will count herself lucky to have you.

 

What my ex did to me has shaken me to my core, it has shaken my confidence and my ability to trust again. I will try though, not only for me but for my child. She needs to see her dad happy again, and that WILL be eventually with another woman. I had the very good fortune to meet someone already, but I doubt it will survive. It is however a first step.

 

Stay strong and you know where to contact me, I would be happy to meet you and try and give you some moral support. Anytime, I mean ANYTIME just get in contact with me and I would be there. It is hard for anyone to know what those of us who have been through this are going through. Those of us that have can find strength in each other.

[tank]

Thanks WN,

 

Well last night, i forced myself back to my routine. The kids got home from school, i cooked supper and then homework. With all four by the time im done its bed time. The kids fell right back into the routine and we had a good night. Was up this morning and right to the gym. Pounded it out extra hard today and it felt good. I kow i had a set back sunday and yesterday, but i bounced back, and surprisingly by last night the feeling was just gone. She called me today about a bill for the car, i told her that she needs to respect my boundaries, she can take care of her own financial issues and if it concerns the kids, right it in the book we are now sending back and forth on drop off and pick ups for visits. I dont want to talk to her and then i said goodbye and hung up the phone. I didnt feel too badly after this talk. I have spoken with my lawyer, he is pushing through the divorce, he has advised her lawyer not to fight the affair reasoning as I have more than enough evidence. I have given this women enough of my time. I am sure that I will still have ups and downs, but the downs arent quite as long and they dont hurt as much. So far today is a good day.

[Chrome Barracuda]

can you get your lawyer to write the no overnights opposite sex when your with the parent clause into the decree?

 

You need to tell the little kids that what they're mother is doing is wrong, but there's no need to hide it from you. She made her choice.

 

I so wanted to smack fire out of your damn mouth tank for even suggesting MC with this crazy bitch. Its over. She doesn't have custody of any of her children, she ups and abandons them and only wants them in her life when its convenient for her. And not once has she apologized about the whole situation to you.

 

What a whore...Your better off...

 

You did the right thing in telling her you wont be a friend and not contact unless it's about the children. She is dead to you...

[tank]

CB, you and alot of other people on here are right. I tried to make my situation different, to try and make it work.

 

I know in my heart i still love her, and i would welcome working on my marriage. My personal and religious beliefs tell me divorce is wrong. In the eyes of the church, i can do this only because of the affair but my priest still advises me to wait. He understands that I can do this whole waiting thing any longer. Tough to go against your own beliefs. I am pushing forward.

 

My lawyer has really pissed her off, as the money I did keep out of her pays for child support, my lawyer allocated it towards back property taxes from 2009. So now the Family Responsibility Office is fter her for all child suport owed to me. If my lawyer hadnt done that i would have to take her to small claims court to recover her portion of the Tax money. She is irrate, called my 21 times today already, I have contacted my lawyer, changed my cell number yet again.

 

Its amazing how they react when you stand up for yourself. She thinks I am going to roll over like I have done all along. Well I'm not. I thank everyone for their comments and their support. I know i will falter some more here, but as long as keep in the direction I am heading I will be okay.