ComeUndone Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 I can see it both ways, but if I were getting married and he asked for one I think I'd be upset anyway. The idea of him thinking it necessary to protect his assets would make me feel he's uncertain about our future. But I do see people taken to the cleaners when going through divorce. I dunno. Your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Yes, please. Of course, I would never enter a marriage thinking that it'd end, but being one of those legal folk, I'm sure as hell going to watch my own ass... Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Now that over 50% of marriages end in divorce it is absolutely essential for a pre-nup. Why would you want him to not protect his assets? If you're going to marry him until death do you part, then a pre-nup shouldn't be an issue because there will never be a divorce... Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 I am 110% for them!!!!! 1: Each person is still an adult and accountable for their own self made worth or debt. 2: Marriage maybe a union but man oh man do some states have some messed up rules on division of property... 3: In my small yet realistic legal world, banish alimony. - see reason one Marriage is not a free ride..... How is it an insult though?? Not following and would be interested how morally or ethicaly its wrong to suggest a prenup? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ComeUndone Posted August 5, 2010 Author Share Posted August 5, 2010 Why would you want him to not protect his assets? If you're going to marry him until death do you part, then a pre-nup shouldn't be an issue because there will never be a divorce... Yes there's always this argument for the opposing side. She says "If you trust us you wouldn't ask for one" and he says "if you trust us you wouldn't worry if we had one." Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Any man who marries without one is out of his mind. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Yes there's always this argument for the opposing side. She says "If you trust us you wouldn't ask for one" and he says "if you trust us you wouldn't worry if we had one." Exactly Both emotional arguments essentially cancel each other out. The only argument left is the logical argument. The only logical reason why a woman would be against a pre-nup is because she wants a free ride just in case things go bad. Frankly anybody with assets, man or woman, should have a pre-nup before getting married. There really is no reason to be against having a pre-nup, besides the fact that one seeks to gain something if things go south. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ComeUndone Posted August 5, 2010 Author Share Posted August 5, 2010 I am 110% for them!!!!! 1: Each person is still an adult and accountable for their own self made worth or debt. 2: Marriage maybe a union but man oh man do some states have some messed up rules on division of property... 3: In my small yet realistic legal world, banish alimony. - see reason one Marriage is not a free ride..... I have my own opinion on #3 but that's for a different thread... How is it an insult though?? Not following and would be interested how morally or ethicaly its wrong to suggest a prenup? Just...hurtful, I guess. Hurtful that the start of our new life together would require him having to cover his ass first, just in case. Bitter pill. Logically I can see where it makes sense but my emotional side doesn't love it. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Understand that while you might be trustworthy there tons of other women out there that are not. Think of it as the final vow a woman must take before a man makes the next step to marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ComeUndone Posted August 5, 2010 Author Share Posted August 5, 2010 Understand that while you might be trustworthy there tons of other women out there that are not. Think of it as the final vow a woman must take before a man makes the next step to marriage. Yeah this makes sense I guess. Some men are just paranoid beyond belief. My bf seems to think this way too, although he was much more anti-marriage in the beginning. Surprisingly he has been coming around all on his own accord for the last year or so, and, if we ever decided to take the plunge, I wouldn't be at all surprised if he asked for a one. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Take a look around you and how most male/female relationships play out and you will understand why men are paranoid. Just look at the seperation and divorce forum on this board and that is how men do not want to end up, Don't take it personally but men know what the score is these days and we want to protect ourselves. It truly means a lot to a man when a woman understands where he is coming from and attempts to see things from his view so give him the benefit of the doubt on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 I can see it both ways, but if I were getting married and he asked for one I think I'd be upset anyway. The idea of him thinking it necessary to protect his assets would make me feel he's uncertain about our future. But I do see people taken to the cleaners when going through divorce. I dunno. Your thoughts? I don't agree with pre-nups because I think it's a plan to divorce...I'd walk if that were ever brought up in my case:) Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Currently, pre-nups in the UK have no legals standing whatsoever, in themselves although there are moves to make them so....They can be taken into consideration, but as a legal process, they're not recognised... I know many people think them a good idea when they make them, and a disastrous one when they split.... Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 I think if one or both of the two in a couple has already achieved many assets before they got together, a prenup just makes sense. Its really no different than making a will. BUT, if neither have much going into the marriage, and one is still insisting there be a prenup involved - it is good sign that they're too suspicious and have an over blown sense of importance about themselves and their (sweater, record, action figure, or comic book collection) to be a good candidate for marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Any man who marries without one is out of his mind. Why is this gender specific? I don't get it. Personally, if I marry again I certainly will have a pre-nup. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 I've already solved that problem. There is no "if" I get married again. I am NOT getting married again..... Link to post Share on other sites
SarahRose Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Any man who marries without one is out of his mind. Did your and your wife sign one? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Why is this gender specific? I don't get it. Personally, if I marry again I certainly will have a pre-nup. Because women initiate the overhwhelming majority of divorces and divorce court is biased in their favor. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Did your and your wife sign one? Yes we did and I would not have married if she said no. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Because women initiate the overhwhelming majority of divorces and divorce court is biased in their favor. If women initiate divorce due to their husband cheating, verbally/physically abusing her, or because he needs to "find himself" then heck yeah they should be in her favor.......the same can be said if the genders were reversed. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 If women initiate divorce due to their husband cheating, verbally/physically abusing her, or because he needs to "find himself" then heck yeah they should be in her favor.......the same can be said if the genders were reversed. That is not the case though. I know not all women are like this but there is an epidemic of walkaway wives plus women cheating and generally being horrible to the men they are married to. Look around and you can't deny this. A man needs to protect himself from these types just in case. If a woman is not like this she should have no issue signing one and should understand why a man does not want to play russian roulette with his life by marrying a woman in this climate with no protection. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 That is not the case though. I know not all women are like this but there is an epidemic of walkaway wives plus women cheating and generally being horrible to the men they are married to. Look around and you can't deny this. A man needs to protect himself from these types just in case. If a woman is not like this she should have no issue signing one and should understand why a man does not want to play russian roulette with his life by marrying a woman in this climate with no protection. works both ways. Some guys are like that as well, but we all know you don't see that. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 works both ways, but we all know you don't see that. Yes there are men like this but just look at this board to see the risk a man takes by marrying. Even if things do wrong for a woman she still has the courts to protect her. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 Yes there are men like this but just look at this board to see the risk a man takes by marrying. Even if things do wrong for a woman she still has the courts to protect her. both genders take a risk when marrying. People are dumb if they don't realize that. Courts don't always protect the woman. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 No pre-nup for me and my FH. I understand the couple's family wanting one if family wealth or a large inheritance is involved. However it's not something we even considered. Link to post Share on other sites
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