I am so sad and blue

[Sw3etdev1L]

I started this relationship, with no purpose. Just for fun, and ended up thinking it could go somewhere.. Lasted for a year and a half.. until this saturday I told him.. that I felt something for him, I thought about him and couldn't go out with no one else except him anymore because I feel involved. He said... "I think we are going both different ways and I don't want to hurt you or make you feel I am using you. I rather end things here".... ended up giving me a kiss, ended up having intercourse... next day.. he messaged me..... I don't like lack of committment, or a lack of purpose in things... I don't like to feel I am flying in the nowhere... the thing is I fell for him... not that hard, but I feel hurt because I thought he felt something for me, and eventhough he does.. he just doesn't want to committ.... I feel like crying so badly... I am so angry and sad because I am 25 and he is 31 and you'd say he is an age where ... if you are a lonely dude, and you got a good person in your life, got a complimentary temperament and you have fun together, can talk and all... the obvious thing to do is... just BE THERE..... and he is letting everything fly away because "he doesn't know what he wants"..... I feel I hate him right now.. I am so disappointed, angry and sad. I think I need to move on.. But this is just too recent. I hate to go through processes like this.. Worst when this is the only relationship I've given myself so fast, started it as a joke and ended it feeling something for that person.. I think now he is a moron, an idiot, a selfish, not rounded, stupid person...who doesn't see things clearly... I don't know what he wants in a girl, if he does want a girlfriend but it is not me...... I am just so sad.