Year 1/2 out

[TerryW]

I'm doing great. Still look great. Making A's in college. Triggered this morning. Hubby kissed me goodbye and I mentioned his stubble. He said "You're the first one to notice." Who else does he want to notice? I hate that. Have a huge 20% case brief due today but I'm right back here (LS). Is this just a small comment that didn't mean anything or is my red flag alert going off? How do you deal with triggers? If I just let it go am I in denial? There have been no other suspicions. I could just say something but you know he'll just deny if he is up to something. What to do? (Besides my case brief:)) Have a great day!

[Spark1111]

I'm doing great. Still look great. Making A's in college. Triggered this morning. Hubby kissed me goodbye and I mentioned his stubble. He said "You're the first one to notice." Who else does he want to notice? I hate that. Have a huge 20% case brief due today but I'm right back here (LS). Is this just a small comment that didn't mean anything or is my red flag alert going off? How do you deal with triggers? If I just let it go am I in denial? There have been no other suspicions. I could just say something but you know he'll just deny if he is up to something. What to do? (Besides my case brief:)) Have a great day!

 

Apparently stubble is somewhat "in," now.

 

Before you go crazy, ask him immeidately what he meant by others. Which others? Does he kiss others? Tell him his careless comment triggered you because that is where your mind went, will go, when he makes a comment like that.

 

I have found the need to discuss triggers immediately so they do not fester into a full-blown insecure day.

 

Do not let them go. You should not have to. He should still be reassuring you, IMHO.

[Fight4Me]

Is it stubble you can see or just feel? If it were my fWH, I wouldn't give it a second thought just because it isn't completely unusual for people at work to make comments whenever he makes a "facial hair change." If he goes to work with stubble, they'll ask if he was up late working.

 

Also, do you have kids? If they get to him before me, they will definitely notice the stubble before I do.

 

Just some thoughts to throw out there. Also, I really agree with Spark. Ask him about it. Part of the healing for the marriage involves communication, even about the uncomfortable stuff.