Ready for marriage?

[spookie]

Obviously, this will vary greatly from person to person, but I am curious about what other people consider needs to be checked off before they are "ready" for marriage.

 

For me, I would not consider getting married before:

 

1. Having a stable career... check

 

2. Having my finances in order, meaning I know exactly where my money goes, and have saving/ investing goals I am making progress toward... have embarked on the process of getting there

 

3. Having dated my SO for at least 2-3 years. IMO some major incompatibilities (such as sexual) don't manifest themselves till then

 

4. Having made some progress with my writing, or at least gotten into the routine necessary to get there

 

I'm 24, and I definitely want a family someday. Knowing the personal progress I will need to make before feeling "ready" to settle down, it's apparent I don't have much time to be lazy...

[allina]

For me, it is important to have a college degree, a stable job and the ability to manage your life alone before marriage.

 

I think it's also important to develop a relationship with each other's families and to work on accomplishing goals together. I believe that things like searching for a place together and moving in, planning vacations and traveling together teach a couple a lot about navigating through life as a team.

[torranceshipman]

I'm 24, and I definitely want a family someday. Knowing the personal progress I will need to make before feeling "ready" to settle down, it's apparent I don't have much time to be lazy...

 

Yes you do! Though I am all for being goal oriented Don't put pressure on yourself. I am 35 and only just getting married. I couldn't have married earlier than this, as it gave me time for my career and other interests to come first, and to allow my personality to change to that point where I am ready (in my late 20's I thought I was ready, but I am such a different person now, and look for something different from a man - so a late 20'w marriage probably wouldn't have ended up happy/successful.

 

I guess it is different for each of us, but there is a whole life out there to experience and 24 seems a bit premature for M, in my opinion.

[Lauriebell82]

For me, it is important to have a college degree, a stable job and the ability to manage your life alone before marriage.

 

I think it's also important to develop a relationship with each other's families and to work on accomplishing goals together. I believe that things like searching for a place together and moving in, planning vacations and traveling together teach a couple a lot about navigating through life as a team.

 

Ditto for me.

 

I have to say though, I know people who have gotten married BEFORE having the things you mentioned, however I have noticed that they have a lot more stress in their marriage. Although they are sitll married many years later, they have gone through rough times because of the lack of stable career/money/time spent together.

 

It was definately important for me to be financially stable and have a career prior to marriage. I lost my job during engagement though, but I was able to recently find a job. So I guess the way I feel, is that you can have these things in order, but you never know what life with throw at you. So the most important thing IMO that you need to have prior to marriage is to have been together for several years prior to marriage in order to find out if you can work through bumps in the road (like job loss).