My mom hates my boyfriend.

[loadmysoul]

Hey there, everyone. It's a long post because of the background.

 

My mom hates my boyfriend. A lot. He and I are 18 and 20, respectively and have been dating for almost 9 months. A year this November.

 

He and I have a very, very solid relationship built on trust and values that we share together. He and I just click. He loves me, I love him. It's that simple. If he was just after sex, I would have known.

 

We met at a Halloween party in 2007 and consistently asked about one another to our mutual (ex) friend. Flash forward to 2009, and I make my move by picking him up on October 31st for yet another Halloween party. He and I seriously hit it off. We began officially dating on November 16th.

 

On Sunday, November 29th, 2009, he was run over by an SUV while biking. He sustained several injuries, but came out very lucky. Two broken ribs, a deep gash on his chin from the helmet, a large bruise from tires on his back and a concussion. Not to mention several bloody, yet miraculously not broken fingers, a gash on his face and a gash on his face. I took care of him for most of this time. He was still in high school when it happened, so I usually took care of him while his father was at work.

 

After weeks of nursing him back to health and cheering him up out of his depression, my mom enters the picture.

 

"He's no good for you," she told me. "He's too needy."

 

I could hardly believe she was serious. He was run over by a bloody car and pretty damn injured. I was beside myself.

 

She thinks he's too needy, lazy and a host of other things.

 

He had a rough childhood. We both did. Things like that stick with you. He never truly felt like he had a family. I wanted to include him in this one, but my mother never opens up. We invited my parents bowling, but every time we want to go, mom comes up with another excuse. She just doesn't want to go with him. She hates him for absolutely no reason at all.

 

When I had a tooth infection, he took care of me. When I had said tooth removed, he was there - he held me as I bawled my eyes out when I recalled the procedure. He supported me when my best friend ditched me and started hanging out with drug addicts. He's my pillar of support. My best friend.

 

My dad took a real shine to my boyfriend, but is forced to take my mom's side because if he doesn't he won't ever hear the end of it.

 

She enforced a curfew of 1:30 am, but makes me come home at 12 or so, because I "wake her up" when I come inside. She also threatens to take away the car.

 

She is stingy with household food, claiming we always eat everything when we're over.

 

He's tried to win her over by attempting to help out around the house, but she gets mad, tells him to stop, pulls me aside and yells at me.

 

We went on a trip to Baltimore and she gave us a few things - paper plates, plastic utensils, cookies and potato chips. He gave a very heartfelt thank you. She responded, "Yeah, whatever." And basically told me, "Those things are for you, not for him. I don't like him."

 

His father really likes me and is willing to let me move into their tiny two bedroom apartment. If I did, I would have to give up a lot of my things. The car included, which I need to get to my job.

 

His mother, stepfather and little sister adore me. His mother and stepfather buy me gifts. His little sister thinks I'm amazing.

 

What is wrong with my mom? (Well, other than she's pretty rude.)

 

How do I get her to stop spouting bad things about him to me? She always tells me that she's entitled to her opinion, and she thinks he's no good for me. I'd really like to have a good relationship with her, but at the rate it's going, she's really digging her own grave with this one.

 

How can I get her to stop?

[brainygirl]

I don't think you can make her do anything. It sounds like she's afraid to loose you or control of you in her life.

 

I think you need to buy your own car and move out. mostly because you're an adult and need to be responsible for your own self, but also because as long as you live at home, you have to abide their rules.