My EX girlfriend keeps contacting me, what do I do??

[spiegel27]

I am 23 and my ex gf I was dating was 20. We dated for a little over 5 months. Everything was amazing the firs 4 months. Literally out of no where she decided she was going to pull a 180 and having her phone die for entire nights, start going out with her new "girl friends" and not contacting or responding back to me until the next night. When I confronted her about the sudden change she said things like "we are not F***ing married I don't need to report into you" and many other lovely messages. I sorta let it go because I liked her so much but then a week went by and I found out she has been hanging/talking to her EX boyfriend the past few weeks and ignoring my calls late at night and sending her ex picture messages "but they weren't nude" right lol. She LIED to me about it and now I need to question every single thing she has EVER told. To make a long story short I cut her loose and have NOT responded in over a week and she wrote to me how she will change and so sorry and was pouring her heart out so I gave in and talked to her. Within 24 hours she pulled the same crap again. So I really cut her off for good now. I don't believe in blocking or changing my number due to her, but last week she sent me the NASTIEST text message drunk. Saying I am a piece of crap, a loser, I will never meet anyone, I will never be successful in life etc. Even though she was 100% wrong with what she did she just can't admit it, its insane lol. I thought after that big nasty text message I was free....was I wrong. Last night (a week later from the nasty text) she sent me a message saying she met a guy with the same first and last name as me but with a 1 letter difference and it was crazy. For the record I have a very rare Italian last name lol shes full of crap. She wrote how sorry she was for saying what she said last week in the text and she wants to be my future husband and all this BULLCRAP. She is literally trying ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to get me to respond and the fact that I am NOT is eatting her up a live. Please please please someone let me know what to do..is she really trying anything she possibly can to get me to respond?? I mean come on she met someone with my same last name.......LOL not likely AT ALL...am I best to just never respond like I have been?

[Treasa]

Yep, don't respond. She just wants to know that she still has power over you.

 

What a psycho.

[EthanH]

I am 23 and my ex gf I was dating was 20. We dated for a little over 5 months. Everything was amazing the firs 4 months. Literally out of no where she decided she was going to pull a 180 and having her phone die for entire nights, start going out with her new "girl friends" and not contacting or responding back to me until the next night. When I confronted her about the sudden change she said things like "we are not F***ing married I don't need to report into you" and many other lovely messages. I sorta let it go because I liked her so much but then a week went by and I found out she has been hanging/talking to her EX boyfriend the past few weeks and ignoring my calls late at night and sending her ex picture messages "but they weren't nude" right lol. She LIED to me about it and now I need to question every single thing she has EVER told. To make a long story short I cut her loose and have NOT responded in over a week and she wrote to me how she will change and so sorry and was pouring her heart out so I gave in and talked to her. Within 24 hours she pulled the same crap again. So I really cut her off for good now. I don't believe in blocking or changing my number due to her, but last week she sent me the NASTIEST text message drunk. Saying I am a piece of crap, a loser, I will never meet anyone, I will never be successful in life etc. Even though she was 100% wrong with what she did she just can't admit it, its insane lol. I thought after that big nasty text message I was free....was I wrong. Last night (a week later from the nasty text) she sent me a message saying she met a guy with the same first and last name as me but with a 1 letter difference and it was crazy. For the record I have a very rare Italian last name lol shes full of crap. She wrote how sorry she was for saying what she said last week in the text and she wants to be my future husband and all this BULLCRAP. She is literally trying ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to get me to respond and the fact that I am NOT is eatting her up a live. Please please please someone let me know what to do..is she really trying anything she possibly can to get me to respond?? I mean come on she met someone with my same last name.......LOL not likely AT ALL...am I best to just never respond like I have been?

 

Reminds me of my ex a lot! Also annoys me so much!!!

 

1) she is alternating between decisions because you are letting her. She clearly gets scared when you back off as she is scared what she might lose. If you want her to make a straight decision, just set it out to her straight, give her a choice. At the moment, she probably blames you for making her make a decision. She shouldn't be in this mindset of course...if she is loves you, she her first instinct should be fear of losing you.

 

2) you say she was doing 'ANYTHING and EVERYTHING' to get you to respond. She is testing you. She has proved that by her reaction when she acted like she was really interested and then got cold feet as soon as you returned the attention. I don't think this overall means she doesn't want to be with you...but I think one thing is sure, if you are to make things work in the future for the long term, you NEED to show her that she cannot mess you around, you need to create some kind of balance. So that even if you got back together, she wouldn't suddenly change her mind in a week or a month etc etc... make her respect you and respect the importance of her decision.

 

3) the more you try to control her actions, ie her going out with friends etc, the more likely she will want to rebel. Be confident, say to her 'go have fun'... if she slips up, it is her loss.

 

4) the nasty texts are just a sign of her trying to cover her feelings.

[spyyder]

This girl is terrible, and you don't want the type that lies like there is no tomorrow, contacts her ex behind your back and say such horrible things to you. Don't bother trying to get back together as to you, and I'm sure to many others, she's a liar and is untrustworthy. You CANT be with someone you can't trust, at least not for long.

 

I wouldn't bother changing your number because she'll get ahold of your new one eventually, and I wouldn't bother blocking her either because she could just call you from another number.

 

Its so so stupid that she said she met a guy with a similar name. It just shows that she's not over you. It's like getting a bf/gf that looks exactly like your ex. Even if she has met another guy, just feel sorry for the guy that he now has to deal with your psycho ex.

 

Just continue to go NC. If she still calls in 4 months time, or makes a harassing call anytime, you NEED to contact the authorities. You'll be surprised how silent a person can get once you get a restraining order against them, even a temporary 1-week restraining order should do the trick. As far as I know you do not actually need an attorney/law enforcement official to file it.

 

I'm just glad that you were only in 5 months with this girl. Feel bad for the next guy that has to deal with her.

[spiegel27]

Thank you everyone for responding and helping me out with your opinions! I am doing what you all said and keeping no response EVER. She is just not someone I even want to talk to ever again. So she friend requested me yesterday on facebook lol....does she not get what she did or get the hint? Its really insane. For the final check with you all I am just going to let her friend request sit there. I will never answer it. I am sure that is best correct?

[reservoirdog1]

Yep, just let it sit there -- neither accepted nor rejected. That way you're demonstrating not that you're resisting her attempts to manipulate you, but that they're so inconsequential to you as to not even be within your notice. A few months from now, when she's gotten tired of trying to manipulate you because she hasn't gotten what she needs from it, you can quietly reject the friend request. The key right now is to not be fazed by anything she does, and to not let her actions impact your life in the slightest.

[VeveCakes]

Don't leave it there, block her and delete the request. That way you won't have to worry about weak moments

[Thorgs]

She wrote how sorry she was for saying what she said last week in the text and she wants to be my future husband and all this BULLCRAP.

 

She wants to be your future husband?? I'd let her go if that was the case.

 

Seriously if you want her to leave you alone then pull up a picture of two people online bangin' out and take a picture of it up close so you cant see faces so it looks like you and some chick and put in the writing, "I met someone so enjoy your lonely life. Adios."

[selena_cat]

can we say PSYCHO-and Restraining Order?? both sums her up very well

[Don Ho]

Yes continue to not respond. You hurt her ego before by not getting back to you. Too bad for her. Her texting like crazy is just to see if she can get you back, make you crawl, whatever. Do not give her the satisfaction. You let her back in once and she burned you. She's really immature bro. You don't need her around. I would not do what Thorgs suggests, to me that just shows you are equally immature and you're not over her.

[spiegel27]

Okay everyone one last update from the ex girlfriend haha. I woke up this morning and she called me 7 times...SEVEN times from 10:30pm-2am. 3 where blocked calls the others where her cell phone..THEN she left me this text lol "wtffff dudeee stop being such a loser! im not asking to be wit u im just simply asking to be cool wit u, whats wrong with that?! cann u grow up be a man and text me back please, i just wanntt to fu*k you right noww so bad and be suchaa naughty girl thats alllll . are you home im driving to your house pleaseee answerr."

 

is this getting a little ridiculous or what LOL??

[TaraMaiden]

In two words:

 

IG

NORE.

 

If she turns up, don't answer the door, don't let her in, don't reply, don't give her a single hint you are in. Better yet - go out. Best thing would be to go to a neighbour's where you can see your front door, and watch and wait until she leaves.

Or - just go out for the day......

Edited August 11, 2010 by TaraMaiden

[freestyle]

Save records of all her harassment---I hate to say it, but you may need a restraining order eventually--

 

It's possible she has a personality disorder, and sometimes these people, when they are rejected, will fabricate false accusations of abuse against the very people they are abusing themselves.

 

So, it might be in your best interests to hold on to documentation of her behavior.

 

Hopefully she'll find someone else to fixate on.........(or better yet, get some professional help)

 

I'd recommend that you do a google search on Borderline Personality Disorder, and read some articles.

 

best wishes.....

[Don Ho]

LOL. Guess that just shows they respond to NC. Oh.... how dare you ignore her when she wants you! LOL. You said you do not want her back, so keep ignoring her. She's gonna start chasing you, so be prepared. IF you did talk to her, the answer would have been: "huh? I'm good with all of it. no worries". IF you didn't care about her and weren't still emotional about her, it would have been fun to let her come over, do you and then say: "I gotta get up early to meet a friend and need some sleep. You need to go" or have her come over and fall asleep before anything happens or tell her you're "not in the mood". What can I say, when it comes to getting back at them I can be a little vindictive. Anyway. Stay away. You'll be better off than dealing with this psycho.

[spiegel27]

Soooo she called me two more times this morning and is leaving voicemails that she is going to drive to my house but she doesn't want to make the drive and have me not be home...she lives 6 hours away would she actually make the drive?? I think this is another one of her manipulative bluff stunts what do you think?? Should I worry about this lol?? She has never driven to my house because she is awful at driving and directions she always took the bus near me and I picked her up....should I remain no contact?? lol...

[reservoirdog1]

Soooo she called me two more times this morning and is leaving voicemails that she is going to drive to my house but she doesn't want to make the drive and have me not be home...she lives 6 hours away would she actually make the drive?? I think this is another one of her manipulative bluff stunts what do you think?? Should I worry about this lol?? She has never driven to my house because she is awful at driving and directions she always took the bus near me and I picked her up....should I remain no contact?? lol...

I would, if I were you. Sounds like you have a potential bunny boiler on your hands.

 

A word of advice -- park your car a few blocks from your home. That way if she DOES show up, it makes it that much easier for you to pretend you're not home.

[spiegel27]

Okay straight up I am embarrassed to ask this question after all the hard advice you all gave me. I may of F***ed up but it got to the point where she started to drive to my house...I know this for a fact due to one of her friends. I ended up calling her and telling her she needs to cut the crap and turn back home. We ended up talking for 2 hours and I don't know if I gave in and became a weak *** *****. She straight up admitted everything she did and why it was wrong and that she was truly sorry..Regardless I am still going to California in 6 days and doing my own thing. She wants to remain in touch as "friends" but I told her she would have to prove to me she can be my friend without lying and pulling the crap she pulled to me. So when I hung up she turned back home and we seem to be civil. Now first of all did I F*** up big time?? I honestly don't think I could of handled seeing her in person..My gut tells me right now she is gonna pull the same crap again. When she has plans she wants nothing to do with me, but when shes sitting around bored and home she wants to talk my brains out. She is displaying that AGAIN by going out tonight and I sent a simple little text and got no response LOL. Suggestions, comments, insults to me are appreciated lol tell me straight up what needs to be done, thanks.

[PixieStix]

Okay straight up I am embarrassed to ask this question after all the hard advice you all gave me. I may of F***ed up but it got to the point where she started to drive to my house...I know this for a fact due to one of her friends. I ended up calling her and telling her she needs to cut the crap and turn back home. We ended up talking for 2 hours and I don't know if I gave in and became a weak *** *****. She straight up admitted everything she did and why it was wrong and that she was truly sorry..Regardless I am still going to California in 6 days and doing my own thing. She wants to remain in touch as "friends" but I told her she would have to prove to me she can be my friend without lying and pulling the crap she pulled to me. So when I hung up she turned back home and we seem to be civil. Now first of all did I F*** up big time?? I honestly don't think I could of handled seeing her in person..My gut tells me right now she is gonna pull the same crap again. When she has plans she wants nothing to do with me, but when shes sitting around bored and home she wants to talk my brains out. She is displaying that AGAIN by going out tonight and I sent a simple little text and got no response LOL. Suggestions, comments, insults to me are appreciated lol tell me straight up what needs to be done, thanks.

 

This chick is psycho. I have two words for you...restraining order. I agree with reservoirdog she sounds like a potential bunny boiler to me too!

[Darren Steez]

Umm dude people just told you not to answer, then you go and answer, now you send her a little text and she doesn't reply, now you want advice? What kind of advice do you want? If you really didn't want to talk to her you wouldn't, maybe you're getting lonely and weakened because the carrot of potential sex is being dangled in front of you.. caused you to be weak. Friends, **** buddies whatever but unhappiness is sure to follow, because you're weak and she knows it and she'll keep playing on it until...well..good luck.