My ex contacted me. Broke up with his gf...

[livelife]

* Let me start off, I did NC. you'll read that he still tried to contact me. the longest he went without contacting me was a little over a month. And i deleted him off facebook. He asked to be my friend but I ignored it after a while.

So heres the story summarized. We dated, we broke up. We almost went back out again, but didnt. He then tells me he didnt want a relationship, but he still wanted me ( didnt want the commitment) So i said I had to stop things and i couldnt even talk to him ( he was hurting me because i still had feelings for him) so on and so forth he wanted to still be friends. Met this girl the night i said i couldnt talk to him. They started going out a week later. 5 days later, they are saying I love you. He still tried to be friends after this, i refused. Now she is going off to college and he is still in highschool. 4 hours away, they broke up last night.

 

He texted me and said hey laura .. .but I didnt answer. Him and His GF are now saying " things will work out, i promise" and that they still love eachother.

 

Let me add she is also CRAZY. Comments on old pictures of me and my ex saying " im sexyer... i wish" and stuff like " i like your current girlfriend better..." and texts me from mutual friends phones and stuff.

*** I wrote this earlier today. I replied to him. I was just curious as to why he wanted to talk to me. I deleted his number so i acted like I didnt know who it was, he told me. I didnt reply to him a couple of times and he would be like " i guess you dont care.. bye" He also asked me to be friends, YET AGAIN. I basically said no. He then reminded me about how i said when I stopped loving him I could be friends.He said weird things like, he missed me, and he thought since we were so close we could be really good friends, and that he "really" wanted to see me sometime. He apologized for his now ex gf harrassing me basically. He also asked me how i felt about him ( he meant if i hated him) I said, " I kinda don't feel anything." He said, then this isnt working. text me when you want to be friends." He also mentioned, "the time we had together was amazing...bye" at one point that i didnt answer.

 

My question is, why is he saying this? What does it mean? I don't understand. Honestly deep down i know i still have some feelings for him. of course im not over him, we were eachothers first love and went through everything together, even lost our virginity to eachother. I do want to see him. I know I shouldnt. He doesnt have to offer what I want him to offer. its hard.

Edited August 9, 2010 by livelife
forgot a detail.

[livelife]

75 views and no help? please guys

[Wings Of Love]

I've got to say, reading this was like looking back at what happened after my ex left me. So strange.

 

Your ex is acting the exact way mine did. Wanting to be friends, trying to contact you repeatedly when you initiate NC, getting with a new girl and saying he loves her within days...

 

My ex had three girlfriends after me. When each relationship ended, he turned to me, wanted to be friends. I, being too soft and still having feelings for him, didn't turn him away. We spoke, I'd help cheer him up and as soon as he got his ego boost, he'd go and find someone else and I'd be shoved aside again. He'd throw me the odd crumb here and there, nothing more.

 

His last relationship ended in June. He contacted me again, naturally. We've been talking properly since then. However, after I'd boosted that ego of his YET AGAIN, he found another girlfriend. He's still messing with my head though.

 

I can't really help much here I'm afraid. I still haven't found that light at the end of the tunnel myself. But I do think that all he really wants from you right now is the knowledge that he can turn to you when his ego is bruised. It makes them feel good knowing they still have someone who cares and won't turn them away. Don't give him the satisfaction. Carry on with what you're doing, you're doing so well. Just ignore the texts, friend requests and whatever else. Block him online if you must. If he was serious about wanting to be with you again, he'd find a way of proving it. Keep your chin up, you deserve better.

[Don Ho]

Livelife, sorry you're hurting and I can understand your pain and confusion. No, you can't be friends because you still have feelings for him and you hope he will change. By continuing any contact with him you're just keeping the wound open and he (unintentionally) keeps pouring salt in the wound.

 

He's just trying to manipulate you with his words so that you'll stay in contact with him or be his friend. "He then tells me he didnt want a relationship, but he still wanted me". Sorry, but that means he doesn't want a relationship with YOU but wants to string you along.

 

You will start to feel better when you go total NC and No Response. Do not fall for or reply to his games (which he will do). He will keep coming around, but will not want or be able to give you what YOU want.

 

That reminds me, if you haven't already, go rent the movie "He's Really Not That into You". Just a movie, but if you think about it there's lots of solid advice there. Hang in there, you'll be fine.

[livelife]

Thank you so much Don Ho, and Wings of life for your replies. I appreciate it alot. I am honestly so confused on his intentions of talking to me the other day, but he left the ball in my court by saying " If you ever want to see me, text me" For that, I am not going to text him:) I now know who he truly is and I will not contact him!!