IfiKnewThen Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 i have a post in break up and LDR i just posted. it's a long thread. (sorry) my only question here is (and i almost HATE to ask this... ...but does any one here think i should try to visit him) any hope o reconnecting with someone in this position... just wondering and wishing.. my story can be found in breaks up and LDR under SICK /HURT thank you. i especially want to hear from people who had gotten second chances... when it all seemed soooooooooo darn hopeless.......... Link to post Share on other sites
MutteringUrchin Posted August 14, 2010 Share Posted August 14, 2010 I read it. Let it go. If he showed even the smallest non-games-playing sign of wanting you back, it'd be apparent. It'll crush, it'll bruise, feel as though it's haunting you forever. Maybe the love you have for him will never vanish. But it's either you go down whilst he goes up, or you go up and make him irrelevant. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IfiKnewThen Posted August 14, 2010 Author Share Posted August 14, 2010 I read it. Let it go. If he showed even the smallest non-games-playing sign of wanting you back, it'd be apparent. It'll crush, it'll bruise, feel as though it's haunting you forever. Maybe the love you have for him will never vanish. But it's either you go down whilst he goes up, or you go up and make him irrelevant. thank you for your reply mutteringurchin (sounds like a character on a game i used to play) i really appreciate the response. i have had so few responses . i know advise is something we ask when we already know the answer and wish we didnt (quoting erica jong here), but i had HOPED i would see, read some success stories when the odds didnt look so good , but it worked out anyway. but where are these stories? he did give me a lot of chances but still didnt say how he was ready to bail out. he kept everything inside. i wish i didnt hurt him. i am so sad. i hurt me too in the processs. i am trying to take your advise. i know there arent many other choices. this just is so shocking and horrible and the worst part of it...(seriously, the WORST) is hating myself for what i did to us and failing ME and giving me this pain i live with now. i dont know how to live with the guilt and the stupidity on my part. when... i could have taken care of his needs and listened to the little voice inside of me when i was living under so much stress ...but still the voice said..hey..treat him better ...you want him to know how much you love him. and i let my troubles and problems close to home....destroy us.......... you cant do this in close relationships let alone long distance. i i hate that someone else could have this wonderful guy and i did this to us. my loss and grief is now punishment enough....for anything, i ever did or failed to do. Link to post Share on other sites
MutteringUrchin Posted August 14, 2010 Share Posted August 14, 2010 No worries concerning the response. I needn't be thanked. : ). I can only hope that the game to which you refer wasn't World of Warcraft! Nevertheless, he gave you chance and you reportedly blew them. What makes you deserving of another chance? You'll have to ask yourself that question. And if the answer surrounds what you, instead of he, currently feels, then think long and hard about it. And that's no thrust toward you; I have had to do it in my situation on many occasions -- asking myself if she is concealing her supposed "true" feelings for me and other such silliness. The only circumstance under which he would be hiding his true feelings of love for you when interested in another woman is if he was an extremely moralistic or unemotional person. Is he either? (My ex is, hence my problem). If he isn't, then he isn't interested. I know the advice is hard to swallow. After all, you want him, you need him, without him, there is no glistening morning light, etc. etc. But them's the breaks. Sooner or later, you're going to have to at least go through patches of excising him from the centre of your love life and life in general. It has to happen, or you'll fall and become worse than you can currently imagine. Long distance is another sword against your favour. You know this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IfiKnewThen Posted August 14, 2010 Author Share Posted August 14, 2010 hi again no the game wasn't WoW. i played a different game. but there were urchins. lol anyway...i know i know...i know. but we all hope and hope and hope dont we? i am going to try all i know how then quit. and know that i tried. thats all i can do... and try to help myelf of course and pray for healing. i wish he didnt treat me so darn good, so i could look back and say ..what a jerk. but thats not the case. i was the jerk...and thats the hardest thing to live with Link to post Share on other sites
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