I'm not ugly, but he not romantically or sexually attracted to me...

[DreamerGirl27]

doesn't that just mean he finds me ugly?

 

lol he's not gay...so... I'm confused. Are most guys not attracted to 130lb, 5'6" girls who wear makeup, dress nice and/or cute? Do you ever find that ugly? What makes a girl romantically or sexually unattractive to you other than the fact that you find her ugly?

 

Oh...he also still wants to be friends. Just friends. When I friend zone a guy, it's because I find him ugly....

[Green]

A recent full body picture would help. Showing skin like in a swimsuit would help even more.

 

Everything in your description sounds good to me. Accept I don't really like it when women wear make up.

 

Plus there are factors outside of how you look that could make you unattractive. Like how old are you. Do you have kids? Do you do something unattactive for a living like porn, stripping ect... Are you anoying (like argue a lot or complain ect.) Do you have sti's or something?

[DreamerGirl27]

No to all of that and sorry but I'm not posting a picture. You'll just have to take my word that I'm an attractive girl.

 

I'm 25, no kids, in school working on a degree (the same as his) and working part time in the mean time.

 

::shrugs::

[USMCHokie]

doesn't that just mean he finds me ugly?

 

lol he's not gay...so... I'm confused. Are most guys not attracted to 130lb, 5'6" girls who wear makeup, dress nice and/or cute? Do you ever find that ugly? What makes a girl romantically or sexually unattractive to you other than the fact that you find her ugly?

 

Oh...he also still wants to be friends. Just friends. When I friend zone a guy, it's because I find him ugly....

 

 

Physique and style are just a couple of the elements that a guy looks at in determining whether he wants to date a girl...so it could be that he doesn't find you attractive...or perhaps at the moment he has his eye on another girl...I find that if I am really interested in one girl, I tend to see other girls as friends only...or perhaps his personality is incompatible with yours and he recognizes that...but I merely speculate...

[somedude81]

How do you know him? What is his situation?

[Green]

No to all of that and sorry but I'm not posting a picture. You'll just have to take my word that I'm an attractive girl.

 

I'm 25, no kids, in school working on a degree (the same as his) and working part time in the mean time.

 

::shrugs::

 

Well do you like movies and good music? Do you play video games at a level where you actualy beat the games you play (with out cheats)?

 

You seem to think you are attractive and in the end that is all that matters. (not that I'll take any ones word on anything you should have posted pics if you really wanted to entertain us/get an answer)

 

Looks are but only one part of the equation. Even if you are the greatest girl on earth some guys are gay, some guys are weird, and some guys are just irationaly picky (maybe he only dates asians or something)'

 

Why don't you just get over it. I do find you a little self centered from the way you talked about friendzoning guys you think are ugly. (I don't even know what you mean by this but it sounds nasty)

[SincereOnlineGuy]

doesn't that just mean he finds me ugly?

 

When I friend zone a guy, it's because I find him ugly....

 

 

 

Maybe he's drawn to your depth?

[DreamerGirl27]

sorry, it might sound nasty, but guys and girls are very different and I find the majority of guys ugly. I am not a lesbian, but I find the majority of girls pretty as well. There are girls I don't find attractive as well as guys I don't find attractive, but the guys are very much HIGHER on that list. Which is why I get so attached when I find a guy I DO find attractive.

 

'Cause it doesn't happen often for me. I like guys with long hair and feminine faces/features. I even like a few effeminate guys, like the only example I can think of is Adam Lambert (and he's gay)!. Emo guys are cute (because they almost always have long hair) and dress almost like a girl (lol). So, I like very feminine looking guys to boot. This does not mean I have ever had a crush on a girl...it just means I get crushes on less masculine looking guys. I prefer skinny to muscular. I don't like "big" guys.

 

Most guys in bands do it for me...but at the same time, I wouldn't just get with any guy in a band. But just to give you an idea of what I'm attracted to...skinny rocker guys with hair. LOL

 

He is my skinny rocker guy with hair I have always wanted who talks to me all the time and is my friend first before anything else. It's all I've ever wanted. If that's shallow...

 

then I guess I'm shallow.

 

but more importantly...aside from his features (which I didn't even notice to be completely honest, even though he was right in front of me), he said some major keywords when I first started getting to know him that really drew me to him aside from his looks and ever since then I've been hooked.

 

I am having a hard time accepting the fact that he isn't attracted to me because he keeps coming back for more from me. We get into incredibly deep, personal and intelligent conversations and I absolutely love that we can do that. This doesn't mean we never agree, but when we argue/disagree it is never malicious and we both know that (even through IM). It's honestly like we are learning from each other. I think he just thinks we are too different. He thinks we have NOTHING in common. I don't think he's looking at things entirely clearly, though.

 

Anyway...he says there is no gravitational pull on his end and that he just simply isn't attracted, but again...he keeps coming back for more from me so he is getting SOMETHING out of talking to me. There is SOMETHING he likes about me otherwise he wouldn't even waste his time being my friend. I also honestly believe, if there is a God, He put him in my life for a reason and I don't ignore things like that. Apparently he is ignoring it.

 

Anyway...I really don't care. I am finally at a point where I am totally and completely 110% happy being single. I'm happy with myself and if I have to wait until I'm 55 years old before I find another guy I'm attracted to that I wanna be with, I don't even care. I'm the type that will not settle for less than what I want and if this goes nowhere, it goes nowhere, but that means I will have to be alone because at this point in time he is MY number 1. If I'm not his, that's fine. I'm just not settling for anyone else.

 

I'm perfectly fine and happy with it, too. I'm happy with myself. If he's not happy with me...it's his loss, honestly.

[Enema]

You could be ugly, something about your face maybe.

 

Or, you might hold the 130lbs poorly.

 

Alternatively, he may just not like your personality. Maybe IRL he thinks you're a slut, or alternatively a prude. You mentioned God, maybe that's a dealbreaker.

 

etc. etc. There could be a hundred things about you that this specific guy doesn't like. We'll never be able to pinpoint it, sorry.

[Woggle]

It might be your personality. For some guys it takes more than looks to attract them.

[DreamerGirl27]

You could be ugly, something about your face maybe.

 

Or, you might hold the 130lbs poorly.

 

Alternatively, he may just not like your personality. Maybe IRL he thinks you're a slut, or alternatively a prude. You mentioned God, maybe that's a dealbreaker.

 

etc. etc. There could be a hundred things about you that this specific guy doesn't like. We'll never be able to pinpoint it, sorry.

 

We just talked about God last night, we have pretty much the same view point about it.

[djhall]

A lack of desire for romantic and physical intimacy could be due to an emotional issue and may not necessarily indicate an issue with your physical characteristics. I think there are also a number of emotional reasons why he may be distancing himself emotionally and physically.

 

He may feel insecure in the relationship. He may have issues with commitment, intimacy, or monogamy and the direction your relationship is heading is starting to make him feel pressured on those fronts. Perhaps he just doesn't see himself with you in a LTR and this is a way of preventing the relationship from getting any deeper or more serious than it already is. Of course, this isn't intended to be a comprehensive list... I just thought I would throw out a few examples of another way of looking at this.

[jamesum]

What the hell is with women who go online and say, "Im attractive ..." ???

 

The level of vanity of women in this country is so unreal.

Edited August 10, 2010 by jamesum

[Els]

Trying to find a reason would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. PLENTY of things can make anyone, male or female, unattractive or unsuitable for a romantic relationship. The fact that you believe such is only limited to your appearance, would be reason enough for me.

[Anela]

What the hell is with women who go online and say, "Im attractive ..." ???

 

The level of vanity of women in this country is so unreal.

 

I could say the same thing about every single man who believes that he deserves hot sex and/or a relationship with the women they consider to be perfect tens - not to mention those who think they should be able to date more than one of them at a time, and keep them hooked for their own pleasure - no matter how old these guys are, or what they look like. I'm amazed at the shallowness of so many men out there.

 

But this is off-topic. Sorry... (and I'm talking about those who think that all women should accept that all men want girls in the supposedly favoured 18 -25 age range, the more beautiful the better - just one example.)

Edited August 10, 2010 by Anela

[jamesum]

I could say the same thing about every single man who believes that he deserves hot sex and/or a relationship with the women they consider to be perfect tens - not to mention those who think they should be able to date more than one of them at a time, and keep them hooked for their own pleasure - no matter how old these guys are, or what they look like. I'm amazed at the shallowness of so many men out there.

It is one to wish something and it is another thing to think you are something.

[hopesndreams]

doesn't that just mean he finds me ugly?

 

lol he's not gay...so... I'm confused. Are most guys not attracted to 130lb, 5'6" girls who wear makeup, dress nice and/or cute? Do you ever find that ugly? What makes a girl romantically or sexually unattractive to you other than the fact that you find her ugly?

 

Oh...he also still wants to be friends. Just friends. When I friend zone a guy, it's because I find him ugly....

 

Why are you so hung up on appearances?

 

Maybe the man you find desirable sees a quality within you that scares him off?

 

I'm not just talking bad qualities. Good qualities can scare off those you are interested in.

 

Do you have a high self-esteem? Most likely not; otherwise, you wouldn't be so hung up on looks.

 

What is some woman's ugly is some woman's handsome.

 

Kinda like, what one throws away someone will find it a treasure.

[Els]

It is one to wish something and it is another thing to think you are something.

 

I believe she said 'thinks he deserves', not 'wishes he had'. Quite a difference there.

[DreamerGirl27]

So, I think I'm attractive. Is that a bad thing? It's better than thinking you're ugly or having body dysmorphic disorder or something strange like that.

 

When I'm at home, no makeup, no contacts in, in my PJs and I'm all sprawled out on the couch or my bed, yeah, I'm not the most attractive thing on the planet. But when I get ready to go somewhere, do my hair, put all my makeup on, do the best to wear clothes that flatter my figure, yeah I think I'm cute. It's not like I do my best to make myself look "ugly", I do my best to appreciate the girl standing in front of the mirror staring back at me.

 

I have seen girls he is interested in...he doesn't go for the prettiest, it's kind of weird. He doesn't go for the conventionally pretty girls, he kind of goes for a little below that. The prettiest girl I have seen him with is his ex...who died a few years ago. Forgot to mention that. That's part of his story. He has an ex he is not over. He lost her when he was really young.

 

back to the original point, is it a bad thing that I find myself pretty? I'm not saying he SHOULD like me because of that... I am saying I seriously don't want him to think I'm ugly and that's kind of how I interpreted him not being romantically or sexually attracted to me.

[DreamerGirl27]

Just to add to this...

Plenty of my friends think this guy is downright/flat out ugly!!

 

He is a 10 TO ME...and I just want to be a 10 to him.

 

Obviously I'm not...

[jamesum]

I believe she said 'thinks he deserves', not 'wishes he had'. Quite a difference there.

I dont know a man who thinks he deserves hot women. She was making stuff up in the first place.

 

Back to the original point, is it a bad thing that I find myself pretty? I'm not saying he SHOULD like me because of that... I am saying I seriously don't want him to think I'm ugly and that's kind of how I interpreted him not being romantically or sexually attracted to me.

Maybe you are attractive, but come on now, just like in real life, how would you feel when a guy comes talk to you and says, "Im handsome." Doesnt that make you think the guy is so full of himself?

 

Your boyfriend may be not like many other guys.

 

May be he is the sophisticated or the emotional type.

 

I personally dont go for the hottest women either. I always go for the ones I feel I will be most comfortable with.

Edited August 11, 2010 by jamesum

[Template]

So you like physically attractive guys. Nothing wrong with that, that's just how you roll. Maybe this 10, is looking for something else other than physical attraction. Maybe he's looking for certain type chemistry, personality, or spirituality, that's not you. You can't really be disappointed if his criteria in choosing someone is different from how you approach it, can you?

[Els]

I dont know a man who thinks he deserves hot women.

 

Maybe you don't, but I certainly do. It isn't limited to only men, though.

[jamesum]

Maybe you don't, but I certainly do. It isn't limited to only men, though.

I know tons of guys since Im one of them. Most if not all men WANT or even OBSESSED with hot women. But in reality they all just settle with women in their respective 'league'. They may talk big among their friends though. But its simply the usual men talk. After all we all have mirrors at home.

[TaraMaiden]

doesn't that just mean he finds me ugly?

No.

I know plenty of so-called good-looking guys who, although by current, common and accepted social tastes are certainly not ugly, I am just not personally drawn to...

 

lol he's not gay...so... I'm confused.

Why, unless your vanity is slightly miffed?

Are most guys not attracted to 130lb, 5'6" girls who wear makeup, dress nice and/or cute?

 

Are you 'attracted' to every single cute, 160lb, 6'2", relatively well-dressed male you see?

 

What makes a girl romantically or sexually unattractive to you other than the fact that you find her ugly?

 

Are you sexually attracted to every guy you see?

Oh...he also still wants to be friends. Just friends. When I friend zone a guy, it's because I find him ugly....

 

That's really shallow.

No really, it is.