I'm not ugly, but he not romantically or sexually attracted to me...

[denise_xo]

DreamerGirl, you can respond to TaraMaiden if you want, but I wouldn't waste my time. TM likes to start arguments by putting others down. This is obviously a very disturbed individual. Pay no attention to TM's nonsense; don't take the bait.

 

Well, I find the basic premise of TM's post - that one is not necessarily attracted to any man/ woman based on the absence of ugliness/ presence of 'generally agreeable features' quite relevant to the OP's question, and I wouldn't call it nonsense at all.

 

DreamerGirl, what I (genuinely) don't quite understand from your OP is why you are placing an expectation that this man should be into you based on certain features of your appearance? As others have pointed out, attraction can be about so much more than that.

[DreamerGirl27]

Because I'm also attracted to his personality. He thinks we have NOTHING in common when in reality we actually have a crap load in common. I didn't even notice how physically attracted I was to him at first, until I started talking to him, now I have a hard time finding any other guy I am attracted to. Unless it's like, some guy on TV... lol He is like, everything I've been looking for.

[DreamerGirl27]

and even the things we don't have in common.... opposites attract?? lol

 

I just still don't find it normal or natural for a guy to keep a girl around this long that he has ZERO interest in. Oh well...I'm going to be seeing him in 2 weeks. Guess I'll have to shove these feelings even farther into the pit of my stomach than before summer started...at least over this summer he's just been living in my computer. Now I'm going to be seeing him 5 days a week again.

[USMCHokie]

Because I'm also attracted to his personality. He thinks we have NOTHING in common when in reality we actually have a crap load in common. I didn't even notice how physically attracted I was to him at first, until I started talking to him, now I have a hard time finding any other guy I am attracted to. Unless it's like, some guy on TV... lol He is like, everything I've been looking for.

 

Bolded above is simply a cop-out that guys might use when they're just not interested in dating you. It's more tactful for them to say that than "you're not hot enough" or "I think you're batsh*t crazy" or whatever might apply in this case.

[kdark]

Sounds like you might have a thing for guys you can't get. It's like the fact that he isn't attracted to you/isn't interested is making him even more attractive than he was before he rejected you.

 

You're not used to people saying no to you?

[DreamerGirl27]

No, quite the opposite. I would be the happiest girl on the planet if he stopped playing games and just said he liked me. I have *never* gone out with a guy I really liked and this one just wants to be friends. I have dated like, 7 or 8 guys and I didn't truly like any of them, but they came to me, as opposed to the other way around. I had a crush on a guy in high school, but he liked both me and another girl and he chose the other girl. I would give anything to go out with a guy I actually like. I honestly never have. The only other guys I have truly liked live in other states or are in bands and junk like that and are kind of players. It more has to do with physical attractiveness. I am very picky and while I DID go out with those 7 or 8 guys...I wasn't attracted to them. They weren't HORRIBLE, which is why I gave them a chance, but I couldn't get past the non-physical attractiveness. Which is why I said in the beginning, I normally friend-zone guys I find ugly. There were TWO guys that I didn't find incredibly attractive that I actually did like because they were so darn sweet, out of the 7 or 8 that I dated, but both of them were older than me and I dated them when I was really young, so now both of them are married with kids now. So, basically, that just didn't work out. but this guy...holy hell, he could like, quite possibly the hottest guy I've ever seen/had the pleasure of knowing. and most of my friends think he's ugly!!! LOL but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He is like...just incredibly cute to me and his personality is edgy and dark...he isn't a "nice" guy and a lot of girls love that. I just wish he was nice to ME!! and he is, for the most part. He's been incredibly nice, like, taking me places, paying for me etc...only prob with that is it made me feel slightly led on. Sooo...no, I do not want what I can't have. Well, I do, but that's not why I want him. That part about it is incredibly annoying. I will stay single forever if I can't have a guy I really like and am attracted to. I really will. I will never settle. If this guy is still playing a game at all, then he's really stupid 'cause I'd be all over him if he just said he liked me like that. If he's not playing a game and really doesn't find me attractive...well, then he's still stupid... and quite possibly blind. Not to toot my own horn or anything...but even though I personally didn't find the guys I dated attractive, I know plenty of girls who did and plenty of girls who think I'm nuts for thinking this guy is cuter than them.

 

Point is...no, I don't get a kick out of him not liking me and it is not a case where if he did, I'd all of a sudden stop liking him. I hate it when guys think that....they have to act aloof or uninterested or something to get a girl to like them. If I really like you, all that does is make me sad/upset and cry. Fortunately, I'm no longer crying over him, but I spent 6 months doing so, because he really was acting like a guy who was interested until he said he wasn't. I was crushed beyond belief.

[DreamerGirl27]

Actually, him telling me a second time that he's not interested in anything but friendship is kind of pushing me away from even that. I don't have the guts to delete him or anything...but it's making me just beyond sad and like I just wanna be away from him and if that means I have to live the rest of my life single, so be it. That doesn't work on girls...acting like you don't like them will only drive them away. At least that is how it works for me.

[Green]

Actually, him telling me a second time that he's not interested in anything but friendship is kind of pushing me away from even that. I don't have the guts to delete him or anything...but it's making me just beyond sad and like I just wanna be away from him and if that means I have to live the rest of my life single, so be it. That doesn't work on girls...acting like you don't like them will only drive them away. At least that is how it works for me.

 

Stop being so dramatic. I think its a smart move to just delete him because that way you can move on.

 

Some guy who you may not even think is your type will come into your life... and he will really be crazy about you... and in turn he'll find a way to get you crazy about him... and then you will find out what all those songs about love really mean... I'm predicting you will find passion some time this year so don't sweat it.

[DreamerGirl27]

I'm not being dramatic, I'm being honest and real. and you're predicting I find love? you're a bad psychic just so you know. I'm attracted to about 1% of the male population.

[Green]

I'm not being dramatic, I'm being honest and real. and you're predicting I find love? you're a bad psychic just so you know. I'm attracted to about 1% of the male population.

 

how am I even psychic. I through out like 4 months and would be suprised if some man didn't find you by then. I don't neceseraly mean your husband... just a guy who you will have great memories with.

 

1% of the male population is pretty high statisicaly speaking thats like over 30 million men out there in the world who you would find attractive...

 

Plus as a guy I think that its the mans job to make the girl find him attractive. So for instance my gf didn't like me right off the bat. She was a little unsure of me... but I won her over by being myself and showing her who I was. I think it also makes women feel good to be wanted.

 

You are being dramatic... just get over it. You're going to be fine so many people go through what you are going through right now and come out fine.

[K'aycie]

You dont sound like a very nice person.

[DreamerGirl27]

how am I even psychic. I through out like 4 months and would be suprised if some man didn't find you by then. I don't neceseraly mean your husband... just a guy who you will have great memories with.

 

1% of the male population is pretty high statisicaly speaking thats like over 30 million men out there in the world who you would find attractive...

 

Plus as a guy I think that its the mans job to make the girl find him attractive. So for instance my gf didn't like me right off the bat. She was a little unsure of me... but I won her over by being myself and showing her who I was. I think it also makes women feel good to be wanted.

 

You are being dramatic... just get over it. You're going to be fine so many people go through what you are going through right now and come out fine.

 

Ummm....no guy has ever been able to "make" me like him. If I don't right off the bat, I never do.

[Green]

Ummm....no guy has ever been able to "make" me like him. If I don't right off the bat, I never do.

 

"make" might not be the right word. Just stop worrying about it is my only point. You come off as spoiled and entitled

[DreamerGirl27]

I'm sorry you find the fact that I only like 1 guy in my life right now as spoiled and entitled.

[Green]

I'm sorry you find the fact that I only like 1 guy in my life right now as spoiled and entitled.

 

Don't be sorry, he also sounds kinda gay so maybe your taste in men will change.

[BlackLovely]

Maybe he's drawn to your depth?

 

:D:D:D:):) Don't kill me! LOL

[BlackLovely]

I'm not being dramatic, I'm being honest and real. and you're predicting I find love? you're a bad psychic just so you know. I'm attracted to about 1% of the male population.

 

I notice that DG has a predictable way of responding to advice. She asks for it and when it's not what she wants to read, DG rejects the advice and insults the poster. Seems like a waste of time to provide an opinion.

 

How can DG say she's attracted to "1%" of the male population?? Has she met every man in the world? I think not.

[BlackLovely]

Why are you so hung up on appearances?

 

Maybe the man you find desirable sees a quality within you that scares him off?

 

I'm not just talking bad qualities. Good qualities can scare off those you are interested in.

 

Do you have a high self-esteem? Most likely not; otherwise, you wouldn't be so hung up on looks.

 

What is some woman's ugly is some woman's handsome.

 

Kinda like, what one throws away someone will find it a treasure.

 

This is so true. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Hopes is very wise.

 

Many people say that my fiance looks "too old" (He is 8 years my senior.) I don't care, because I find him sexy and distinguished looking. Some grey hairs and a little baldness only makes me love him more...I even kiss the bald spot when he gets down about it.

[TheLoneSock]

Unless it's like, some guy on TV... lol He is like, everything I've been looking for.

 

Like, totally.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

So, I think I'm attractive. Is that a bad thing?

 

 

I do my best to appreciate the girl standing in front of the mirror staring back at me.

 

 

back to the original point, is it a bad thing that I find myself pretty?

 

 

 

No, but it might be a bad thing that the girl standing in front of the mirror is staring at you.

[Joe Normal]

What makes you think men automatically will want to get involved with ANY woman who isn't ugly? Attraction just doesn't work like that.