GUYS: How important is weight if a woman has a face you find attractive?

[AD1980]

And some male posters here seem to insist that they dislike women of a certain size not because of the aesthetics, but because it's 'medically unhealthy'.

 

Thats their perogative, most Men just dont find fat women aesthetically pleasing..

 

It seems as if women have standards in Men but Women dont like when Men have standards with women especially ones who may have unfavorable traits seem to be mad..

 

As a short guy i dont feel sorry for any of you at all..You have some control over your physique i have none..

[mr.dream merchant]

And some male posters here seem to insist that they dislike women of a certain size not because of the aesthetics, but because it's 'medically unhealthy'.

 

It is medically unhealthy to be obese? Everyone's body is different though. Some people are just bigger anatomically speaking.

[meerkat stew]

I looked in the mirror one day and felt shame that I had a muffin top and let myself go. I took gym membership out and haven't looked back. I am 38 and have a bikini body. Never had that until I took up sports and I am proud of my toned body.

 

OK, well, I don't know many men who would disqualify a woman for a mere muffin top (guess it's dependent on what size jeans the muffin is blossoming from ), but let's go with it.

 

How did you stay motivated? How long did it take to achieve your goals? to get halfway there? Did you have any diet or exercise tips or tricks to share here? Did you do mostly sports or gym or combo? Did you have any backsliding? Did you have BF, GFs or family helping you and motivating you? More detail please.

 

Oh yes, almost forgot, for "scientific reasons," we need one "before" pic and 30-50 "after" pics in various attire and different stages of undress. You can send the "after" pics to [email protected] and I will take care of "distributing" them.

[tman666]

Great post worth requoting in full, cuts to the chase and is applies to men as well as women. Thanks.

 

You know, and I know you are wasting your breath though with much of the audience here, and the subsequent posts bear that out.

 

Everything you post above is completely accurate and well-stated, yet they aren't going to agree and say, "you have a point!" or even agree with part and disagree with part. They are going to rationalize and "talk at or around" the issue until they feel they have explained it away, point a finger of blame away from themselves at some other poster or some societal condition, insult you directly for interjecting reality into their "my little pony fantasy land," or most likely, pick a tiny portion of your post take it out of context, and set up an obvious straw man.

 

It's the same at the gym. About 70% men, 30% women to start with (telling). A tiny percentage of women go to the classes and stick to it and end up meeting their goals (admirable). The rest of them meander around in there doing little real exercise, just waddling around among the men (with their own issues "giant chest and arms-chicken leg boy" for example, at least they are trying though) for half an hour, and then say "well I'm working so hard but I'm just one of those people who can't lose weight! It's genetic! If you don't accept me as I am, Mr. Man, you are just shallow (or worse, the oppressor)." All the while not once breaking a sweat or feeling their heart pound. :lmao: I watch this every time I go to the gym, always some new fat girl whom I know will never be seen in those parts again.

 

I don't approach women at the gym, but when I see the exception to the rule (it happens a few times a year), actually doing real exercise, obviously with goals in mind, sticking to it, day in and day out, not just going to the easy class, sweating her ass off by herself, self-motivated and not being driven by a trainer, starting off with a very unhealthy body, and then getting results gradually, getting a bit more confident, six months later well on the way. I want to go up and marvel at her and find out what country she is from or what planet, and tell her how beautiful, special and rare she is. Tell her how much she has motivated me to stick to my program and fitness goals and thank her for coming to my gym instead of some other one, for allowing me to watch someone change their life for the better through serious effort.

 

One of the coolest things in your life is when you have the rare opportunity to watch someone exert real effort and change their lives right in front of your face. Knowing how good she must feel to go in a store and buy sexy clothes, how hard it was to go to that gym day in and day out, how sore she must have been for weeks at the start, how easy it would have been to watch all the others waddle around doing nada and mimic them. How easy it would have been to give it up and just blame men or anyone other than herself for what she doesn't like about herself in life. But she didn't.

 

The rest go home and eat a box of ice cream sandwiches, log on the internet, come here or even some "fat friendlier" forum, and make posts about how -men- expect women to be perfect and "rail thin," never mentioning that it's not the women men actually like who are rail thin, but the women in the female magazines and the fashion industry who create the unhealthy expectations, neither of which men give a **** about.

 

If there is a thread like this one going, they will scour the net for some fat-ass model that due to lighting, camera angle or some other subterfuge looks almost palatable, and trumpet through cheeto caked lips, "See obese women are beautiful!" (nomnomnom twinkie!) "Accept us as we are or you are just shallow sexist pigs!" (nomnomnom milkshake!) "Men have forced these unrealistic beauty expectations on us for far too long!" (nomnomnom chicken leg!) I love myself (that's obvious) (nomnomnom candy bar!)

 

This post is for that exceptional woman who took accountability on herself, made a plan, and stuck to it for months and months until she met her goals, or at least got close enough. Maybe there's one of those in this thread who can give a motivational speech? Needs to be a woman because men working hard in the gym is nothing unusual. Anyone?

 

A dose of caustic truth. However, I would like to point out that, at least at the gym I go to, there are roughly an equal number of men and women working hard.

[meerkat stew]

And some male posters here seem to insist that they dislike women of a certain size not because of the aesthetics, but because it's 'medically unhealthy'.

 

It is medically unhealthy for my self-esteem when I can't get it up because the woman I'm with is too fat.

[Lorelai]

Everything you post above is completely accurate and well-stated, yet they aren't going to agree and say, "you have a point!" or even agree with part and disagree with part.

 

What he said was exactly what I was going to say to his post about asking if a person lives in "the village of the obese". He answered his own question. Yes, the majority of Americans are fat, and the reasons he gave were true. Didn't need to go into much more detail.

 

Guess I should have made my post about men vs women in response to his post about men vs women, but why waste the clicks?

 

------

 

Now, in response to *your* post:

 

The rest of them meander around in there doing little real exercise, just waddling around among the men (with their own issues "giant chest and arms-chicken leg boy" for example, at least they are trying though) for half an hour, and then say "well I'm working so hard but I'm just one of those people who can't lose weight! It's genetic! If you don't accept me as I am, Mr. Man, you are just shallow (or worse, the oppressor)." All the while not once breaking a sweat or feeling their heart pound. :lmao: I watch this every time I go to the gym, always some new fat girl whom I know will never be seen in those parts again.

 

In my case, if I didn't want to break a sweat I'd just use an exercise bike -- it's hard for me to get my heart rate into the target range on them. (I invested in a heart rate monitor when I started working out again after my knee injury -- it's been a good investment.) I can keep my heartrate in the aerobic (not "fat-burning" which really isn't) range far longer on the seated elliptical than I can on the standing one because of my dorky knee, so that's what I use. It has a resistance interval program which not only helps to keep my heartrate up, but seems to be doing a bit of strength training as well. Too bad there's only one of them there -- I have to get in as soon as the place opens to keep from having to wait around for it or just use a bike (which is better than nothing I suppose).

 

When I started working out again, I could barely do 20 minutes on it -- and barely 10 on the standing one before my knee started to hurt. But I've built up to 45 minutes, and three times a week at that length is fairly decent aerobic exercise IMHO. If you believe differently, what would you suggest?

 

Maybe there's one of those in this thread who can give a motivational speech?

 

You'd think that losing 70 lbs and going from a size 26 to a size 14 would be pretty decent motivation. And you'd think that saying it was done by monitoring food intake, making better food choices, leading a more active lifestyle, and going to the gym would be what you would want to hear instead of suggesting it was done with some miracle pill or drug.

 

You want to know what is extremely *demotivating?"

 

The rest go home and eat a box of ice cream sandwiches, log on the internet, come here or even some "fat friendlier" forum, and make posts about how -men- expect women to be perfect and "rail thin," never mentioning that it's not the women men actually like who are rail thin, but the women in the female magazines and the fashion industry who create the unhealthy expectations, neither of which men give a **** about.

 

If there is a thread like this one going, they will scour the net for some fat-ass model that due to lighting, camera angle or some other subterfuge looks almost palatable, and trumpet through cheeto caked lips, "See obese women are beautiful!" (nomnomnom twinkie!) "Accept us as we are or you are just shallow sexist pigs!" (nomnomnom milkshake!) "Men have forced these unrealistic beauty expectations on us for far too long!" (nomnomnom chicken leg!) I love myself (that's obvious) (nomnomnom candy bar!)

 

THAT kind of bull.

 

In my post about how I did it, I mentioned that emotional eating is a factor for a LOT of people who are overweight. Some people stuff their feelings with booze, drugs, gambling, sex, etc. Others through stuffing food in their face. Which do you think a fat chick reading this thread is going to think is more pleasant to deal with? A gym filled with jerks like you who are inwardly laughing at the fat chick who came in to at least give it a try and making bets on how long it takes for her to give up, or a twinkie? The twinkie isn't going to judge you.

[Sphere]

And some male posters here seem to insist that they dislike women of a certain size not because of the aesthetics, but because it's 'medically unhealthy'.

 

It's a combination of both.

 

Nothing in life is black and white and that includes what one likes and dislikes.

[Phateless]

I don't mean morbidly obese. But maybe a few extra pounds or considered "thick". If a woman has a beautiful face, but may not be a size 2 or 4, but instead a size 10 or 12..would she turn your head? Would you date her?

 

It's all about proportions. I like some thickness on certain girls, but it's got to be in the right places. If she's well-proportioned and half-decently fit I can be attracted, but if her belly protrudes farther than her boobs, I'm not.

 

Not trying to be harsh, just honest.

 

As for the health issue - as long as she can come hiking, biking, and dancing with me, it's fine. I'm in good shape and I deserve someone who can keep up with my lifestyle.

[a_woman]

OK, well, I don't know many men who would disqualify a woman for a mere muffin top (guess it's dependent on what size jeans the muffin is blossoming from ), but let's go with it.

 

How did you stay motivated? How long did it take to achieve your goals? to get halfway there? Did you have any diet or exercise tips or tricks to share here? Did you do mostly sports or gym or combo? Did you have any backsliding? Did you have BF, GFs or family helping you and motivating you? More detail please.

 

Oh yes, almost forgot, for "scientific reasons," we need one "before" pic and 30-50 "after" pics in various attire and different stages of undress. You can send the "after" pics to [email protected] and I will take care of "distributing" them.

 

It wasn't about men, it was about myself. I wanted to look good and healthy rather than bloated and lazy. Motivation is easy, I enjoy exercise (steps, circuit training, light weights) especially to music. I also go hiking, surfing, snowboarding, fishing, clay pigeon shooting, worked in safari for 6 months. I don't usually diet.

 

I found that seeking a physical lifestyle is very rewarding and even slows aging (except for the sun)

 

So what Im trying to say is that it's a lifestyle choice, not a chore. It shouldn't be seen as such. The USA is a beautiful country, LOTS to do there if you want.

[Lorelai]

Someone here said you need 22% body fat to have regular periods, I can tell you that's untrue.

 

That's what "Go Ask Alice" is saying to people. Hence why I said "some" people suggest that. 13-17% is the borderline range, and THAT is said by a lot of other websites. And it is not uncommon for female athletes to lose their periods. At all.

 

The necessary body fat percentage for regular menstration does vary from person to person, but 22% body fat is in the fit range for a woman. 25% is still considered fit, but it's considered obesity in men.

 

If you'd like references, here ya go:

 

http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA53794

 

http://health.nytimes.com/health/guides/disease/secondary-amenorrhea/overview.html

 

Yes, those are medical facts.

[a_woman]

That's what "Go Ask Alice" is saying to people. Hence why I said "some" people suggest that. 13-17% is the borderline range, and THAT is said by a lot of other websites. And it is not uncommon for female athletes to lose their periods. At all.

 

The necessary body fat percentage for regular menstration does vary from person to person, but 22% body fat is in the fit range for a woman. 25% is still considered fit, but it's considered obesity in men.

 

If you'd like references, here ya go:

 

http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA53794

 

http://health.nytimes.com/health/guides/disease/secondary-amenorrhea/overview.html

 

Yes, those are medical facts.

 

Professional athletes burn around 8000 calories a day. Not something most of us have to worry about.

 

So the fact that Angelina Jolie gave birth to 3 children must be a miracle then.

[Lorelai]

So the fact that Angelina Jolie gave birth to 3 children must be a miracle then.

 

And Angelina had to lose 21 lbs to get to the less than 10% body fat she's at now for the movie Salt:

 

http://www.theage.com.au/news/lifeandstyle/people/angelina-jolie-on-sex-change-diet/2009/03/12/1236447354398.html

 

She'd already lost the last of the baby weight in October of 2008:

 

http://www.hollyscoop.com/style/angelina-jolie/angelina-jolie-on-how-she-stays-thin_901.aspx

 

So, no, she did not get pregnant at what she weighs now.

[Bogo123]

LOL Im going through this now. I met this one girl online, she's got a gorgeous face but when I saw her in person, she was BIG. The distribution of cellulite is astonishing. Her face and torso are slim, her arms are a bit chubby, and her hips ass & thighs are huge. Not sure about her yet.

[MrNate]

I guess I'll actually answer the question.

 

Yep, weight is very important. She could have Jessica Alba's face, but if there's a bit more jiggle than I'd like to see..she simply wouldn't fit the bill.

 

Especially when I'm working my tail off 3 times a week.

 

So I'm perfectly fine with average/slightly athletic..all the way to athletic.

[meerkat stew]

But I've built up to 45 minutes, and three times a week at that length is fairly decent aerobic exercise IMHO. If you believe differently, what would you suggest?

 

No idea how you interpreted my post as a critique of any specific regimen other than a "non-regimen." Even I'm not -that- arrogant, what works for one person may not work for another. Was hoping to make the point that "consistency and effort" rules, and invite those who have had success to share general pointers that kept them going. If you have any success stories to share, I imagine they would be welcome here as opposed to the usual tack these threads take.

 

You want to know what is extremely *demotivating?"

THAT kind of bull.

 

Oh please, don't internalize everything someone posts on the internet, if the "bull" doesn't fit, don't wear it.

 

A gym filled with jerks like you who are inwardly laughing at the fat chick who came in to at least give it a try and making bets on how long it takes for her to give up, or a twinkie? The twinkie isn't going to judge you.

 

Here's your mistake, and it's a common one women tend to make. I'm a man. As such, I have neither time nor inclination to go through life "inwardly laughing" at anyone unless they are doing something flagrant like bending over right in front of me and showing buttcrack at Walmart. Inwardly laughing at people is what women, children and insecure men spend their time doing. And before you say that's unfair to women, how many men (not young punks, not insecure wimps, men) have you ever had lean across the table to you and say, "look how -short- that bald guy over there is!" or "can you believe she is wearing that dress with those earrings?" Not many, I'll wager.Comparing himself to others is just not on a man's radar unless what he's doing is directly dependent on such judgments.

 

So if a fat girl feels she is being laughed at out and about, and she in fact is, it's usually another woman or a punk kid doing it, not a man. We may not look at her sexually, but that's the extent of any derision, unless of course she coughs a gobbet of fried dumpling across the restaurant and it stains our tie, then we may take issue.

 

Every raw observation I make of another human being is not an immediate opportunity to compare myself to them. Does that prevent me from coming here and making an acerbic, even obnoxious post later? or compiling my raw observations into conclusions? Of course not, and I will assure you the thoughts going through my mind at the gym are not "look at that fat girl, she isn't doing anything productive, I'm so much better than she is haha." We observe and compile without much value content in the moment (it detracts from concentration and focus, not productive), then reach conclusions and assign subjective value later when we aren't concentrating on a task. Your welcome for this very valuable insight into the male mind.

 

I've overtyped in response to your insult, but attempting to make a claim that fat women are being chased from gyms by people laughing at them, inwardly or outwardly, is so preposterous that I had to call you out on it and make a point. It's just not the case, but does make a very convenient excuse. If you internalize and personalize every post or derogatory thing you see on the internet that isn't specifically addressed to you (as you specifically addressed me by calling me a jerk), you have bigger fish to fry than a fat ass.

[meerkat stew]

It wasn't about men, it was about myself.

 

My mistake, and makes a very good point to boot.

[Lorelai]

If you internalize and personalize every post or derogatory thing you see on the internet that isn't specifically addressed to you (as you specifically addressed me by calling me a jerk), you have bigger fish to fry than a fat ass.

 

All right then, I'll rephrase. "People who act like jerks." Because you were acting like a jerk in those two paragraphs. Being judgmental and insulting does not help motivate anyone. And no, what you said didn't apply to me. But it was still judgmental and insulting, and not helpful in the slightest to the people who it does apply to.

 

As such, I have neither time nor inclination to go through life "inwardly laughing" at anyone unless they are doing something flagrant like bending over right in front of me and showing buttcrack at Walmart.

 

Hey, you were the one who used the "laughing my *** off" smiley after what you said. Twice. So no, I guess you were outwardly laughing, not inwardly. My bad.

[InceptorsRule]

And he thinks http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-418780/The-stunning-size-12-model-branded-fat-TV-competition.html is medically obese.

 

 

A size 12 in the UK is like an 8 or 10 in the U.S.

 

Also, look at the picture that you linked to. That woman's legs are out of proportion/too fat in relation to the rest of her frame. You can't see her butt but she's probably got junk in the trunk as well. Women always seem to chastise men for failing to recognize that photo shoots of models can be made to hide a lot. She's hiding her @ss, ever wonder why?

[Feelin Frisky]

I don't mean morbidly obese. But maybe a few extra pounds or considered "thick". If a woman has a beautiful face, but may not be a size 2 or 4, but instead a size 10 or 12..would she turn your head? Would you date her?

 

If she is really cute but heavy, I'll overlook it.

[InceptorsRule]

People have personal issues that they let spill out in their "constructive posting" You post about sluts, all the sluts come to crucify you. You post about overweight women. All the overweight women come to crucify you. You post about gold diggers, guess what..here they come. People have preferences, standards, etc that everybody just needs to accept. Some of them may be Double Standards and hypocritical, but that's their personal preference.

 

 

OK, then it's time for someone to start a new thread about overweight, gold digging sluts.

[nddb]

unless one is morbidly obese, a pretty face will do a lot. At least when I was still in the market, that would trump a lot of things.

[brainygirl]

I posted this in the wrong thread, moving it here.

 

 

I'm not going to call anyone stupid or shallow or tell you the having a preference is wrong. but all those actresses mentioned are known for being extremely beautiful, so even if they are a tad "larger" or 'curvier' than is typical of Hollywood, they are still not anywhere close to normal when taking into consideration everyday people.

 

I think what gets women, and certainly me, is that I am not a starlet. I don't have hours and dollars to spend in on trainers, dietitions, stylists, and designers, so I am never ever ever going to compare to those women.

 

I think the topic of the thread was asking men not to go on and on about their ideal body type, but to open up about actual body types they date, have dated or have declined to date.

 

For example, I don't like super skinny guys, I just don't find the look attractive even though you see it in fashion and on TV a lot. That being said, I did go out with a "string bean" guy and really enjoyed his company because we had similar tastes in music, movies, humor and were both smart and liked lively conversation.

 

I tend to like guys who are teddybear-ish. That being said, last teddy bear type I went on one date with was dumb as a box of rocks and I declined further dates, even though he was my physical "type".

 

Guys have any similar experiences?

[somedude81]

I think the topic of the thread was asking men not to go on and on about their ideal body type, but to open up about actual body types they date, have dated or have declined to date.

That's exactly what I did in post #11. Then somebody else said something and the thread went way off track.

[InceptorsRule]

By the way. 'Average adult Americans are about one inch taller, but nearly a whopping 25 pounds heavier than they were in 1960, according to a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The bad news, says CDC is that average BMI (body mass index, a weight-for-height formula used to measure obesity) has increased among adults from approximately 25 in 1960 to 28 in 2002.' , courtesy of http://usgovinfo.about.com/od/healthcare/a/tallbutfat.htm . While 28 is certainly overweight, it is not medically obese either. Do not use medical terms that you have no idea about or quote statistics that you never bothered to pull up.

 

 

OK fair enough, let's try for some clarification.

 

"Overweight" is defined rather arbitrarily as a BMI of 25 to 29.9 "Obese" starts at BMI of 30.0 but I think we'd probably all be rather hard pressed to distinguish someone with a BMI of 29 vs. a BMI of 30. (BMIs aren't as useful for extremely muscular people as they will tend to have a higher BMI due to carrying a lot more muscle mass.)

 

In any event, if the hypothetical "average American" is as you say carrying a BMI of 28, think of what that actually means in terms of weight distribution in the population. It means that the people who are OVER the average BMI are roughly balanced off by the people who are UNDER the average.

 

So then the question is, "What is the average BMI for the portion of the population that has a BMI exceeding the general average of 28?" IOW what do you suppose the average is of not the entire population, fat and lean together; but the heavier/higher BMI portion of the distribution?

 

28 may not be "technically" obese but it's in the top range of "overweight" and it represents the average of ALL people.

 

IOW the people who ARE overweight MUST have an "average BMI" GREATER THAN 28. How much greater than 28 is 30 (the arbitrary "obesity line")?

 

I don't think anyone here is talking about someone who is 10 or 15 pounds overweight as being a real issue in terms of attractiveness. A woman has to be extremely petite before 10 or 15 excess pounds is going to be any kind of a deal breaker for most sane men. Also, while the last 10 or 15 pounds can be a pain to get rid of, it's not an intractable issue to lose 10 or 15 lbs for most people. That's NOT the problem is it?

 

I believe the average height for an American woman is 64 inches (5'4"). At least I heard that somewhere. According to CDC's BMI chart, in order to have a BMI of 28, she would weigh in at 163. So the average 5'4" woman weighs 163.

 

The borderline for overweight is BMI 25, which works out to a weight of 145. If we assume BMI 22-23 is smack dab in the middle of "normal healthy BMI" the weight is 128-134. So the "average" BMI 28 woman is carrying an extra ~30 or so pounds. Add in the fact that "average" includes women who are pregnant and have a weight gain associated with that.

 

30 extra pounds on a 5'4" frame is a LOT.

 

But does anyone seriously think a 5'4" lady who weighs in at 134 ("normal" BMI) should be considered "slender" or "skinny"? I have no idea what dress size that would be. It really doesn't sound very slender to me.

[Lorelai]

Also, look at the picture that you linked to. That woman's legs are out of proportion/too fat in relation to the rest of her frame. You can't see her butt but she's probably got junk in the trunk as well. Women always seem to chastise men for failing to recognize that photo shoots of models can be made to hide a lot. She's hiding her @ss, ever wonder why?

 

I don't see where you get that her legs are heavy, and lots of men prefer "junk in the trunk". But to each their own.

 

Here's a link that might be helpful for this conversation, even if it's going by height/weight and not dress size, since it's non-model shots...

 

http://www.cockeyed.com/photos/bodies/heightweight.shtml