i hate that i love him

[so_mo34]

ok so last night i went on this boat cruise with the guy im casually seeing, my friend and his friend. i have really strong feelings for him that he may or may not be aware of. i've been casually seeing him for a year. he was always disrespectful to me trying to hook up with my friends and such so i pretty much assumed that he didn't like me. he was also hitting on my friend there and trying to hook up with her. things were fine until i got drunk and kissed his friend. at first he actually seemed pretty mad about it and told his friend to 'quit it' not sure if he was joking or not. later on he started getting mad at me over small things and started attacking me. then said he saw me kiss him and that it didn't affect him at all, 0%. i only did it to see his reaction and get back at him for him disrespecting me all the time. i know it was wrong and i feel awful about it even tho he doesn't like me. then i started crying and stuff there (alcohol doesn't help). and he didn't even seem to care and when i went outside he told me "don't jump off the balcony". so i think we are done now, but should i text him and apologize? he hasn't texted me at all.