The dating game - need answers

[Dave]

I really like this girl. She's 20 and I'm 24. I've gone out with her twice already. The first date I asked her out to dinner. We had a good time. She was cheery. She talked a lot. It was fun. However, at the end there was no hug or anything. Two days later I called her and she invited me to the movies with her friends. I felt like we were close. She payed a lot of attention to me even though her friends were there. She seemed interested once again. I took her home afterwards, and once again, there was no hug or anything. She did, however, give a positive sign by telling me that I need to join her and her friends next year for this holiday dinner that I missed this year.

 

She told me before our first date that she's not looking for anything serious, but I have a feeling that she likes the comfort of boyfriends and is saying that almost because she has given up.

 

Oh.. one final important detail. This girl had a one night stand with a friend of mine like 6 months ago. That's actually when I met her.

 

So does this girl probably like me and is trying to take it slow? Is it common to take it so slow in the beginning if a girl is really interested in someone? I hate this dating game and I need answers.. what should I do??

[Taressa]

You may have missed the secret code. When we say we're not interested in anything serious we're usually saying we're not looking for an exclusive dating relationship. Most often it also means we don't want to complicate the friendship with sex.

 

But,

 

She may be trying to avoid another sex-then-goodbye romance.

 

She may be waiting for you to make the first move.

 

But most likely, she may be interested in friendship only.

 

It's okay to ask a girl what she feels. As the saying goes, "Honesty is the best policy".

[Tony T]

There are simply no rules. But if you are interested in a romance, I would go for a small kiss on the lips the next time you go out with her. If she turns her head or resists in any way, she just wants to be your buddy.

 

The fact that she likes taking you out with a group could be a negative for you in terms of dating her. Ladies who involve their friends in outings with guys in the early stages of a relationship or "whatever" are sending a message that what they are wanting is a friendship at best.

 

Even though she said she's not looking for anything serious, I don't think a kiss constitutes seriousness. But, you need to be on notice. This girl has basically told you she does not want a boyfriend or anything resembling that. If that's what you're looking for and you press the issue right away, this lady will get real peeved at you.

 

Then, if you want to be her buddy, OK. But I don't think that's what you want.

 

You are the first person I've ever hear of who met a girl he liked during his friend's one night stand. That must have been one incredible trick.

 

Just looking at this overall, I don't think much is going to come out of this. But appreciate her friendship. She can introduce you to some female friends of hers that might end up being really great for you.