Treat them like dirt and they stick to you like mud?

[Mary3]

I just wish women here would be as quick to condemn misandry like Megandoll as quick as you are to condemn me.

 

You know you OWN your issues. Nobody else wants them. Its going to go with you to your grave.

[Woggle]

You must have an amazing marriage ...

 

Sleep good at night ?

 

So far it's lasted longer than my first marriage and as far as I know she does not cheat. If my approach is so wrong why does she treat me better than my first wife did?

[Mary3]

lf you have any links I would like to see them. I just get the feeling that if I were a woman it would be a whole different story on these boards.

 

I would say of your 12,290 posts you have directly ignored 11,000 of them.

 

Now of course that is just a generalization but I recall many times you don't address serious issues that are killing you inside....

[Mary3]

So far it's lasted longer than my first marriage and as far as I know she does not cheat. If my approach is so wrong why does she treat me better than my first wife did?

 

What if she has cheated on you this week and you don't know about it ?

[Woggle]

What if she has cheated on you this week and you don't know about it ?

 

When I find out she is gone.

[Pyro]

lf you have any links I would like to see them. I just get the feeling that if I were a woman it would be a whole different story on these boards.

 

If you want to truly get better then you will look for them yourself but you won't because you'd rather live in your fantasy world of hate.

 

So far it's lasted longer than my first marriage and as far as I know she does not cheat. If my approach is so wrong why does she treat me better than my first wife did?

 

because she isn't your ex. Once again you generalize all women into one category.

[Woggle]

How would I even search?

[Pyro]

What if she has cheated on you this week and you don't know about it ?

 

don't feed the troll Mary

[Pyro]

How would I even search?

 

you could look under the marriage category of threads. You will find good and bad threads there but pay attention to the good ones.

 

Take the time to look at the list of todays threads as well.

[dispatch3d]

mary3,

 

I ****ing love you and you're hate. Calling me socially inept is the funniest thing ever. It's ****ing hilarious honestly. hahahaha man.....

 

I enjoy being ridiculous. ****ing bring on the ridiculous. Reading ridiculous womanizers thoughts at the very least is INCREDIBLY entertaining. I've probably had more "wtf" moments in the last two years than you'll have in an entire lifetime.

 

Honestly once you read enough pickup and practice it enough it comes to the point where you just like instantly realize things. Oh this uncle is more social than that uncle, oh this relative doesn't have a CLUE whats going on. Oh man x guy is awkward, I can't even handle hanging around y, wholly **** that guy managed to kill my pickup in 2 seconds, wow military guys are like this and that.

 

zengirl you asked what my ultimate goal in dating is. It isn't to find THE ONE. I don't believe every perosn has this perfect mold of a person they can get, what a hogwosh of bull**** that's fed to everyone by the media. My goal is to become good enough I could get most girls - it's impossible to get every and who cares. I want to at some point be able to totally give a girl everything she's looking for emotionally and physically. Then I want to eventually get into a relationship with a girl I actually really like for real - who does something other than just look pretty. I want to date her because it would be too much effort to find something better. Not because I have no other options, because I'd end up single for A WHILE if I wasn't dating her, or I was unlikely to get hotter. Those are the reasons most guys are left with.... best case scenario...

[Mary3]

mary3,

 

I ****ing love you and you're hate. Calling me socially inept is the funniest thing ever. It's ****ing hilarious honestly. hahahaha man.....

 

I enjoy being ridiculous. ****ing bring on the ridiculous. Reading ridiculous womanizers thoughts at the very least is INCREDIBLY entertaining. I've probably had more "wtf" moments in the last two years than you'll have in an entire lifetime.

 

Honestly once you read enough pickup and practice it enough it comes to the point where you just like instantly realize things. Oh this uncle is more social than that uncle, oh this relative doesn't have a CLUE whats going on. Oh man x guy is awkward, I can't even handle hanging around y, wholly **** that guy managed to kill my pickup in 2 seconds, wow military guys are like this and that.

 

zengirl you asked what my ultimate goal in dating is. It isn't to find THE ONE. I don't believe every perosn has this perfect mold of a person they can get, what a hogwosh of bull**** that's fed to everyone by the media. My goal is to become good enough I could get most girls - it's impossible to get every and who cares. I want to at some point be able to totally give a girl everything she's looking for emotionally and physically. Then I want to eventually get into a relationship with a girl I actually really like for real - who does something other than just look pretty. I want to date her because it would be too much effort to find something better. Not because I have no other options, because I'd end up single for A WHILE if I wasn't dating her, or I was unlikely to get hotter. Those are the reasons most guys are left with.... best case scenario...

 

The only advice I can give is this : The guys who are not sure about their confidance around women or their experience should really pay attention to what the females have to say here. I mean you are getting advice straight from the source.

 

If I were a guy I would be reading intently getting the feedback from the very women I was not sure about how to handle..

[Woggle]

you could look under the marriage category of threads. You will find good and bad threads there but pay attention to the good ones.

 

Take the time to look at the list of todays threads as well.

 

I will and I will admit I am wrong if I find it.

[Pyro]

I will and I will admit I am wrong if I find it.

 

Let me correct myself: a majority of the threads that you will find on here will most likely contain heartbreak and betrayal. The whole point of this place is for people to come here with their stories.

 

Save your breath about this place being a representation of life because it's not. You have been the only one on here who agrees with that.

[dispatch3d]

The only advice I can give is this : The guys who are not sure about their confidance around women or their experience should really pay attention to what the females have to say here. I mean you are getting advice straight from the source.

 

If I were a guy I would be reading intently getting the feedback from the very women I was not sure about how to handle..

 

Lol you still don't get it. Your advice is second rate at best. Save it for someone who listens. I take all girls dating advice with a grain of salt. Once they prove they can think of the entire equation and not just their side of it, are self-aware of why they do certain things, and realize how the world works completely maybe I'll listen to them.

 

You are like 15 stages below what I'd want in someone who gives good advice on women. Seriously don't even bother giving me advice you are wasting your breath.

 

I went an entire year+ waiting to talk to anyone about dating just because I thought their opinion would be useless. I can find the answers myself better than they can dish any kind of half-assed answer. Eventually I met a friend who was extremely good and I take his advice BECAUSE IT REGULARLY LINES UP WITH EVERYTHING I READ AND EXPERIENCE. If you don't pass this test I don't even bother with you.

[mortensorchid]

That's usually the case, ever notice? It works for both men as well as women. Act like you like the person, they turn cold on you. Act like you're not interested in them, they're all over you. It's the thrill of the hunt for all of us.

[Sphere]

I understand that. And I experienced this (Flawed as it was) to an extent, too. But one can't help but feel hopeless if women simply don't find him attractive, or good enough to have a relationship with. It sucks. I'm only 22, but I've often felt I simply didn't have what it takes to ever have a woman. I was a rebound in my only experience, so I also never experienced true companionship.

 

 

You are 22 years of age, why are you getting so caught up in serious commitment at such an age?

 

Why not just focus on you and what you enjoy, hobbies and interests? If you spend every waking moment of your day thinking about women, you aren't living and you are coming off as needy and desperate, not a human beings most admirable traits.

 

Companionship will happen to you at some point, just because it happens for one man at 23 doesn't mean it will happen to the next man at that age.

 

 

My reasoning for doubtfulness varies, due to being told many different things in regards to why I wasn't good enough. Mainly things I could not physically change. Okay, success was a wrong choice of words. The ones I speak of never had the opportunity of experiencing true companionship with a woman before, and often feel if it hasn't worked for 28-30 yrs of their life, it won't now.

 

Doubtfulness is a heinous trait, just like neediness, desperation and all those other negative emotions and thought processes that often dictate the modern man who isn't as manly as needs be.

 

A life of negativity is a life not worth living.

 

 

 

 

Wanting to change and actually changing are vastly different from one another.

 

"You must be the change you want to see in the world" - Gandhi.

 

Re-read that and imply it to yourself. Changing is never easy, it requires dedication, months and years of your time, it requires failing and learning from such failures, it requires patience because it's one of lifes most valuable virtues. Changing yourself takes strength, even when one starts to wain, but most importantly, Change is good and the world around us is always changing, so why aren't you changing with it?

 

Those who fear change will live a life of regret and a life full of regret is not a life I want to have, do you?

 

Yes, but for someone who has experienced much more than he has, despite being much younger, that's a lot easier to suggest. Not that it's your fault; no one is suggesting that so don't take it as such. I'm just saying if you look at it from the standpoint of someone who's close to 40, never had so much as a kiss with a woman or a relationship, the thought alone feels pretty....grim. Kinda hard to focus solely on dreams (Whatever those are) when you're outstripped in the area of companionship by teens. It's just human nature to feel like you're less than others.

 

No matter your age, there is always room for new experiences, always room to learn something new and no age is too old to learn new things and change perspectives, perceptions of the things around us. You just have to have the courage to leap into the unknown.

 

 

I know needing a woman to make you happy can be hazardous as many suggest, but it can also work wonders, too. I also know that simply ignoring it and trying to go with your life will not allow a woman to drop into your arms, either. Some sort of attraction has to be there to draw her in.

 

Oh how wrong you are and such comments are a total insult to women everywhere. A woman should be a welcome addition to your life, she should never the be sole reason you are happy or content with life. For such importance comes with a price. That price is a lack of negligence.

You must declare your interest in a woman, yes, of course, but women shouldn't be the sole reason for your existence. Attraction, of course, there has to be attraction, but you won't attract women by being like Gamma or Sumdude81.

 

Do those lessons work for every man, tho?

 

They worked for me and if they worked for me, why can't they work for you?

 

 

 

So, eliminating the majority of the focus on women and focusing on other aspects of the life is the main key? Once this is done, things will get better? I'm actually asking not just for Gamma, but for myself as well.

 

It was for me, because I was so immersed in what made me happy and what interested me that I was able to build confidence in who I was, where I wanted to go and what I wanted to and the direction I wanted to travel and once I established these settings, I was then able to invite women into my world and in someway, show them who I was and in many ways that's what gave me confidence.

 

For Substance is always better than Conversation.

 

 

Well, if he doesn't like you for this, I don't agree with that POV. I feel like there's no reason to dislike the guy for being good enough to win women over. I often give them props, and acknowledge that they're pretty good, while I am not good with women. Honest praise has always been my thing.

 

Everyone has someone who hates them and what you fail to realize it's not about winning women over, it's about winning the right woman over.

 

Also, there needs not to be praise for those who are good with women, there is no secret to it, you just have to fail and fail and fail until you learn what it is you have done wrong and how you can fix it. Experience is everything in most cases and in others passion and a care free attitude are just, if not, more so invaluable than experience.

 

I don't think Gamma would disagree with this.

 

Then he should know what needs to be done and he should fix it. I have the perfect read for guys like him and no, it's not a PUA Guide, it's much more than that. 265 pages of advice on how to improve you, your world and your life. It worked for me, it gave me the belief that I was someone, that I could be someone and such a feeling gave me the confidence to throw myself open to life's challenges and adventures, I failed and I still fail today in lots of areas, but I'm able to learn from my mistakes and move on.

 

The key to being successful in this life is to make mistakes. Failure is not a bad thing, it's a good thing. Hell, last night I was rejected three times and one woman laughed her head off when I approached her. Some guys would die of embarrassment, would cry or get upset. What do you think I did? I laughed it off and ordered some more Soco and Pepsi.

 

So if I can do that? Why can't you? Tell me, why can't you, Sumdude and Gamma do that? I'll tell you why, it's because you aren't

 

a) in touch with your sexuality

b) refuse to let your instincts take the drivers seat

c) you are too cautious.

d) you need to find your own sanctuary of happiness before you can even think about women.

 

A woman won't magically make your life any better, if you feel she has then you are disrespecting her and placing too much of a burden on her shoulders. With such matter comes grave expectations, expectations that lead to failed relationships.

 

 

[Sphere]

Interesting discussion between Sphere and Cracker Jack.

 

If I was looking for a princess your post would have given me some encouragement. But I'm not looking for my princess, at this point I'd be happy with a chambermaid. After 28 years I should have gotten something by now.

 

What you get and what you deserve in life are two different matters.

 

No one deserves anything, you have to graft for what you have. If you don't have a woman because you are expecting her to waltz into your life unannounced than you are being bone-idle and bone-idle people wind up with absolutely nothing.

 

 

I've heard both those ideas many times. Honestly it's very hard to not see women as trophies. I'd actually argue that women are prizes. Dating/seduction is very similar to a sport or competitive game. If you make the right moves you win and get a girl. If you mess up, you lose and get nothing. Sometimes if you mess up, you get a consolation prize, her friendship.

 

Women are just women.

 

Why are you placing them on a pedestal for?

 

You would argue those points because you represent what is wrong with the modern man. You are the type of man who will end up constantly getting "LJBF'd" with every girl you meet, because you aren't sexual enough, aren't assertive enough and will not make your intentions known.

 

If you mess up, you mess up, big deal. I have been rejected 100x times, you move on and find someone else. Rejection is apart of the parcel of life, if at 28 you still cannot accept this, then you need to grow up.

 

 

Also the very thought that I am the prize, when I've never won anything is ludicrous. I know it's a bad thing to depend on external sources for validation. But I can tell myself every day that I'm the greatest, but when I go to bed alone every night, it's really hard to believe that.

 

Fake confidence, fake belief. A waste of time.

 

"If you think, you shall become", but only if you truly believe it.

 

I can't but help and think that you are referencing me. Even if not, I haven't experienced companionship with a woman. I've only ever had light friendships with girls, nothing intimate at all. I have no idea what it's like to even see a girl two days in a row.

 

So you haven't experienced much with a woman? What does that tell you?

 

 

But giving up is not a valid thought. Just because it's not working now, doesn't mean it won't work in a couple of months. The key thing is that the person needs to keep trying and keep learning. Some have it much harder than others but that just means that victory will taste sweater when it's achieved.

 

What victory? Scoring with a woman is some sort of victory? No man scoring a woman is apart of human nature, it's ingrained in us, you just haven't figured this out yet.

I don't even know if it's possible to eliminate focus on women. Short of taking libonal, the sex drive will always be there. There is also a human need for companionship and intimacy.

 

I see men who will literally drop everything and gaze at a woman when she walks past, I'll have a glance and carry on walking, that's the difference between me and those men. At a bar, I'll stand up against the bar and sip my drink and I'll see a beautiful woman sitting with her friends, I'll watch men go up to them and I'll sit there and wait until they've finished and then I go up, I am patient man, I don't need to be first in line, there is no competition. All I do is strike up a conversation, sit in a chair and I'll introduce myself. If they're game they'll accept, if not they'll tell me to buzz off.

 

What I have is control. CONTROL OVER MYSELF. NO woman like a man who is drooling at the mouth over her. She wants a man who acknowledges she is pretty without being a slimeball which far too many men are nowadays. If you are one of these men learn two things 1) tact and 2) class.

 

 

 

I can be completely caught up in work or school, but as soon as I get any free time, my focus instantly shifts to girls. It's impossible to control.

 

It's impossible to control because you have taken no steps not to control it. Self control is a great trait and one you could add to your arsenal if you wanted.

 

Why not get hobbies and interests?

[Mary3]

Lol you still don't get it. Your advice is second rate at best. Save it for someone who listens. I take all girls dating advice with a grain of salt. Once they prove they can think of the entire equation and not just their side of it, are self-aware of why they do certain things, and realize how the world works completely maybe I'll listen to them.

 

You are like 15 stages below what I'd want in someone who gives good advice on women. Seriously don't even bother giving me advice you are wasting your breath.

 

I went an entire year+ waiting to talk to anyone about dating just because I thought their opinion would be useless. I can find the answers myself better than they can dish any kind of half-assed answer. Eventually I met a friend who was extremely good and I take his advice BECAUSE IT REGULARLY LINES UP WITH EVERYTHING I READ AND EXPERIENCE. If you don't pass this test I don't even bother with you.

 

dispatched please don't be Hatin' because you can't get a girl , not on forums , not in real life and not from reading those lame books you read.

 

What the heck : PUA : Pick up Artist ? Do you live in 1973 ? Do you have disco ball in your livingroom ?

 

]Your useless posts such as this [/u:

 

Treating women poorly does actually work quite well to create attraction. There's one PUA who believes pretty firmly in being a dick/using the same tactics girls use on us when we start dating back on them. Examples being make plans with a girl and cancelling without a legit reason/etc. You'll probably think this is a really mean thing to do - until you realize that women do this to men ALL THE TIME.

 

That said I don't agree with that style and neither would I EVER follow it without some reason. I definitely wouldn't want a relationship based on that bull****. But I am certain if I looked hard enough there'd be more examples of being more of a dick works way better than being nice. The dick can be called a "badboy"... the "nice guy" is marriage material...which by the way isn't what guys are going for.

 

And using guys who are married as good examples of models to follow is lol. They aren't in the dating scene - no offense intended although I'm sure some will be taken. End .

 

I can tell you that you are MILES below what women are looking for. I am going to guess you are in junior high school right ?

[somedude81]

a) in touch with your sexuality

b) refuse to let your instincts take the drivers seat

c) you are too cautious.

I've heard those comments before. And it's something I would love to do. But as a man with very limited sexual experience it's difficult to be in touch with my sexuality. How would you describe sexuality to a virgin?

 

As for letting instincts take over, fear is a huge factor. More often than not the fear is stronger than the desire. The only real solution I've heard is to, Just do it™

d) you need to find your own sanctuary of happiness before you can even think about women.

 

A woman won't magically make your life any better

That's a hard one. What can be done when the very reason for not being happy is a lack of a woman? If a man is starving, giving him a new TV is not going to cut it.

 

You are also discounting the self-esteem issues that can develop when one is alone and not having the companionship, intimacy and sexual needs met.

 

No one deserves anything, you have to graft for what you have. If you don't have a woman because you are expecting her to waltz into your life unannounced than you are being bone-idle and bone-idle people wind up with absolutely nothing.

I have been actively pursuing girls since I was 13. Granted I have not pursued that many, around 20 or so. I only chased girls that I saw on a semi-regular basis. I eventually developed huge crushes on those girls and was subsequently crushed when each one rejected me. Idle I was not and still am not. Even now I'm trying to get a girl, yet there is a 90% things will not work out.

 

Women are just women.

 

Why are you placing them on a pedestal for?

To me, women aren't human. Aside from the women in my family; mother, grand mothers, aunts, girls have not been apart of my life. On occasion they drift into my life and may linger for a month or so. Even when I'm with them it doesn't feel real and I end up wanting much more from them then I ever get.

 

You are the type of man who will end up constantly getting "LJBF'd" with every girl you meet, because you aren't sexual enough, aren't assertive enough and will not make your intentions known.

As I addressed before, being sexual is very difficult for me. I think I may have had sex 10 times in my life, never with the same woman more than once. It's impossible to get experienced at anything with such few occurrences. What I need is a woman to give me a f*cking chance so I can finally learn what I should have learned many years ago.

 

So you haven't experienced much with a woman? What does that tell you?

It tells me, that I haven't experience much with a woman. I don't understand what you are getting at.

 

What victory? Scoring with a woman is some sort of victory? No man, scoring a woman is apart of human nature, it's ingrained in us, you just haven't figured this out yet.

For me, it's a victory to be able to experience my human nature. People have wondered why I've been so depressed without a woman. The reason is obvious, I'm not living a f*cking normal life. My nature is being forcefully denied.

 

She wants a man who acknowledges she is pretty without being a slimeball which far too many men are nowadays. If you are one of these men learn two things 1) tact and 2) class.

Two things I am not lacking are tact and class. You already said what I'm lacking.

[zengirl]

First of all, I assume that attracted means that the guy is very good looking. I've read many posts by girls on here who say that they don't find most guys attractive and that it's a very rare occurrence to be attracted to a guy. This basically means that the average guy is not attractive, he's average. I'd say that only about 15% of men are good looking enough to be called attractive.

 

I don't always find the same men attractive as my friends. While I'm sure, with men and women, the same groups in general (definitely top 50% if not some smaller group) are more likely to be considered "classically attractive" I don't know that you're right in making this about whether or not the average guy is attractive.

 

Most men I see are not attractive to me. Even narrowing down to my age range. . . I'd say it's still less than half for sure. That doesn't mean they aren't attractive to someone. There's all sorts of times when a gal will say, "Look at that hot guy over there," and I'll look around, trying to figure out who she means because I don't see him as "hot" at all. The same thing happens when I find a fellow fantastically attractive and a friend might not see it; not that they'd say he was hideously ugly, but they wouldn't want to jump him. Make sense?

 

I just wish women here would be as quick to condemn misandry like Megandoll as quick as you are to condemn me.

 

Who? What? You're always asking for women to condemn things I've never heard about.

 

What if she has cheated on you this week and you don't know about it ?

 

Oh, don't reinforce his paranoia.

 

When I find out she is gone.

 

See what happens? He didn't even say if.

 

You are also discounting the self-esteem issues that can develop when one is alone and not having the companionship, intimacy and sexual needs met.

 

You have to find your "self-esteem" (emotional health, self love) in other ways. You are right that all loving experiences, especially good romantic ones, can help people build it. . . but honestly, bad romantic ones from people who've had romance can destroy it just as much as yours is.

 

It sounds like you have some shame/insecurity about your lack of sexual experience. I'm not going to say that isn't natural in that all people feel shame over all sorts of things, and I suppose average people would feel similarly. But shame, itself, isn't natural. Shame and anger towards the past will keep you trapped in it. That's just. . . everything I've ever seen. Even if you somehow miraculously leave the past in a shallow sense and find someone, if the shame and anger don't melt away, you wind up where you always are. Look at Woggle. He's so angry at himself for having picked the wrong woman or women the first time around that he's making his current marriage, with a partner he claims is wonderful in many ways, exhausting and needlessly painful.

 

Too many people hold onto self-anger and self-pity and shame. I'm not saying deny who you are, or that people aren't accountable for their actions (though yours in this case are nothing to impugn, really), but you gotta find some way to let it go. I wish I could tell you how, but it's different for everybody.

[skydiveaddict]

Many guys tell me to give up and that it's hopeless. Many women tell me "you'll find someone when you leaset expect it".

 

I don't know which is worse.

 

 

I don't know what's worse either. Having your heart smashed to bits (if you happen to fall in love) or going it alone.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

They attract all kinds of women. I see women with successful careers who are well ediucated letting a player just degrade them and then coming back for more while they treat a good man who in many cases they are involved with or even married to like he is chopped liver. It happens time and time again.

 

I am married and I treat her well but I constantly worry if I am making her fall out of love with me. I 2nd gues every time I want to do something special for her and how I am going to be perceived. The marriage at times really does seem too god to be true. Women these don't act like her just because they love a man.

 

They may seam like they have it all together on the outside but on the inside they can't be that stable to allow some one to treat them in such a manner and then go back for more.

 

Actually I can guarantee that cause I use to tolerate men who treated me that way why? Because I was in a very unhealthy place mentally now im not and would not tolerate such treatment.

 

Maybe if all a guy wants is a ONS then ok it will work long as your ok with praying on mentality ill women then its all good. If you expect/hope to form some type of relationship with women like this then your in for one heck of a hell ride...

 

Far as your response to your wife im just wondering if women don't act like that purely out of love then why do they do it?

[skydiveaddict]

women respond like that because it's simply human nature.

[Sphere]

I've heard those comments before. And it's something I would love to do. But as a man with very limited sexual experience it's difficult to be in touch with my sexuality. How would you describe sexuality to a virgin?

 

For a man to embrace his sexuality, virgin or not he has to embrace his masculinity. Unfortunately in society nowadays a lot of men feel dirty for so much as checking a woman out in public. "Oh no I couldn't possible touch her", "Oh no I couldn't have sex with her on the third date", "I feel dirty, women aren't pieces of meat". In truth wanting sex with a woman isn't perverted, it's natural. Too many men are emasculated nowadays and lack the backbone to iniate the first steps. A virgin can be very good at sex providing he doesn't let his lack of experience interfere with sexuality, if he feels passion about sex he will be passionate in the bedroom or anywhere else he has sex. Embracing your sexuality is simple, it's letting nature take its course after all, we are all sexual being, even Morrissey (I think). So, if we are all sexual beings then why are you afraid of it? Intimacy is not something be afraid of or ashamed of, it's something that's good, it's something that's great.

 

 

As for letting instincts take over, fear is a huge factor. More often than not the fear is stronger than the desire. The only real solution I've heard is to, Just do it™

 

What is it that you fear? Rejection? Sexual contact? Whatever it is that you fear, you'll need to conquer it. You need to confront it. It is just to do it, yes, I agree with that, so why aren't you out there facing your fears? You've had a frustrating twenties no? Why not strive to make your thirties more comfortable and happier?

 

That's a hard one. What can be done when the very reason for not being happy is a lack of a woman? If a man is starving, giving him a new TV is not going to cut it

.

 

You cannot hope to find a woman when you are miserable, lonely, unhappy etc. You need to get your house in order before you can contemplating getting a woman. A woman should be a welcome addition to your life, she shouldn't be the main event and I doubt any woman would be feel appreciated being the sole reason you are depressed, miserable and what not. You think a woman will change all of this and all she'll do is paper over the cracks and it will be your unhappiness that will ruin any relationship you have with a woman.

 

You need to sort yourself out before you can even contemplate women. Ever heard of self improvement? Find out what it is you need to work on and focus on that.

 

You are also discounting the self-esteem issues that can develop when one is alone and not having the companionship, intimacy and sexual needs met.

 

Don't give me soft talk. If you have self esteem issues work on them. Why exactly do you have self esteem issue for? What is causing it? Do you know? If you are feeling alone then find friends, get some hobbies, work on yourself and then throw yourself into the dating game when you are fully satisfied with the progress you have made with yourself. But no one likes a Debbie Downer, so you're locked into a vicious cycle. You feel like a woman will somehow make you instantly happy, yet you're so miserable that you repel women. Smash up that cycle and create your own cycle.

 

 

I have been actively pursuing girls since I was 13. Granted I have not pursued that many, around 20 or so. I only chased girls that I saw on a semi-regular basis. I eventually developed huge crushes on those girls and was subsequently crushed when each one rejected me. Idle I was not and still am not. Even now I'm trying to get a girl, yet there is a 90% things will not work out.

 

You developed crushes and were rejected? We've all been there.

 

1) Don't place any woman on a pedestal.

2) Control yourself, control your thoughts.

3) Huge crushes in quick time equate to neediness and desperation. Break this cycle.

4) Rejection is nothing to be upset about.

5) Your negativity is a major reason why you're single.

6) Work on it.

7) Stop making excuses.

8) Prepare to learn.

 

To me, women aren't human. Aside from the women in my family; mother, grand mothers, aunts, girls have not been apart of my life. On occasion they drift into my life and may linger for a month or so. Even when I'm with them it doesn't feel real and I end up wanting much more from them then I ever get.

 

This is where you are going wrong my friend. Women aren't human, what are they then if they aren't human beings?

 

As I addressed before, being sexual is very difficult for me. I think I may have had sex 10 times in my life, never with the same woman more than once. It's impossible to get experienced at anything with such few occurrences. What I need is a woman to give me a f*cking chance so I can finally learn what I should have learned many years ago.

 

Ten times? What's wrong with that? While experience is good, an experience man might not necessarily be a great lover if he doesn't aim to please his woman in the bedroom and ignores the vital signs.

 

Why should women give you a chance when you aren't giving yourself a chance?

 

It tells me, that I haven't experience much with a woman. I don't understand what you are getting at.

 

It tells me that you need to change and in a big way.

 

For me, it's a victory to be able to experience my human nature. People have wondered why I've been so depressed without a woman. The reason is obvious, I'm not living a f*cking normal life. My nature is being forcefully denied.

 

Living a normal life? God lord, your life isn't that much worse than anyone elses. Why dont' you go to Zimbabwe and watch what is happening to the people there and come and tell me if your life isn't normal compared to theirs. Self Pity will get you nowhere in the end.

 

I have tonnes of advice for you, but until you are willing to listen, read, learn and change, it's wasted on you.

 

Two things I am not lacking are tact and class. You already said what I'm lacking.

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Fast approaching? It passed when I was about 30.

 

Don't be soft.

 

Nothing passes you by unless you let it. It's not too late to change your life you know. You just have to want to do it.