no sex or physical affection in my marriage

[marriednotclose]

I Have been married for more than 20years, My wife has not had sex with me for over two months now. I ask her what is wrong she says nothing, but she claims to be always tired, headache, pms, back ach or something.

 

She does not want to hold my hand when we are walking together, I am at the end of my rope ,she says that she is not having an affair, I do not know any more what to do...Any woman out there help me.

 

I have started to masturbate which is something i have never done and i am getting good at it, I have even told her that I guess this will be a masturbation night and she does not respond, as if to say good enjoy yourself.

 

I am not interested in having an affair, although i have been approached by an old girlfriend who is also married and wants to help me to release myself.

 

Please tell me what to do.

[Amazon22]

Uhm, no one can tell you what to do in this situation. Advice can be offered however.

 

If you have been married to her for 20 years, then you probably know her pretty darn well...I'm assuming. Just confront her, that's really the only thing that you can do. But, not in bed, that won't get you anywhere. If she was having an affair, you would probably know by now...clues, etc..

 

My advice, go out and drop some cash on some nice lingerie, and other various items, perhaps some massage lotions, candles, and some other romatic fun stuff. Start paying more attention to her, take her on a trip, big or small...whatever your budget allows.

 

I'm also guessing that you both are in your mid to late 40's. If that's the case, perhaps she is going through menopause and feels ashamed of telling you...as some women can be (ashamed that is)....why? I don't know exactly, I'm only 23, but what I do know is that every woman, no matter what age or how self-sufficient they may be, likes to be treated like a Queen. It doesn't matter how much money you do or do not have, anything that they can tell comes directly from your heart will be well appreciated!

 

Don't drown her in gifts, kindness, etcetera...that will only push her further away. What made you two fall in love in the first place? Be creative and let us know what you come up with.

[SoleMate]

This problem is actually more common than you may think. Please read The Sex-Starved Marriage by Michelle Weiner-Davis. It has practical things you can do right away.