lilylover Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 I can pretty much NEVER seem to get home on time. It's always only five minutes or so late, but it's still late. My mom is fed up with it, and I dont want to see her like this anymore. I try to come home on time, I really do. It just never happens. I'm thinking of just not going anywhere anymore. The thing is, I never know what time it is until I take out my cell phone and look at the clock on it. And I always look at it when I need to be home in five minutes. When I see that I am not going to get home on time, I call my mom and tell her, but she still gets mad. Tonight she didn't say anything to me and I was like, "aren't you going to say anything?" and she replied with, "why? it doesn't work anyway" and then went to bed. I dont want her to stop caring, I want to be able to follow her rules. I feel really bad about this, but it doesn't seem to be enough to actually make me get home on time. what to do? Link to post Share on other sites
C.Celine.C Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 If your phone has an alarm clock on it, set it to a time to leave giving you plenty of time to get home on time. Schedule as much as possible. I think your mom should get help if she cries over you being late of five minutes. It seems like she has other issues being expressed through this. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 You need to either buy a watch, or do what Celine advised and set your phone's alarm--Except the part about telling your mom to seek help, that's none of your business, and there would be no polite way to bring that up. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 my parents were the same way, so i would leave arlier from places to make sure that there was enough time, being early is better then being late. Link to post Share on other sites
C.Celine.C Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker Except the part about telling your mom to seek help, that's none of your business, and there would be no polite way to bring that up. Yeah that would be rude. But I didnt tell you to get her help I said maybe she needed some. Dont sweat it she is just overly worried like a lot of parents. I was trying to point out that she shouldnt cry over that. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 Originally posted by C.Celine.C I was trying to point out that she shouldnt cry over that. Oh, I know what you were saying--but in case she read what you said and felt entitled to point it out verbally to her mother, I was advising against it. Also, I don't think we have enough context to tell whether or not she should seek help, I doubt this is the only problem with her. Link to post Share on other sites
C.Celine.C Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker Oh, I know what you were saying--but in case she read what you said and felt entitled to point it out verbally to her mother, I was advising against it. Also, I don't think we have enough context to tell whether or not she should seek help, I doubt this is the only problem with her. Good point Link to post Share on other sites
lilylover Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 I wrote her a letter and left it downstairs for her to read in the morning when she gets up: ------ I wanted to talk to you more tonight, but you’re in bed so here’s a letter. I don’t really know what to say besides sorry, and I don’t know if you believe that I am anyway. I don’t know why I can’t get home on time. Everytime that I am late I tell myself that I wont do it again, but I always do. I think you need to just not let me go out late at night anymore, or have a ten minute range of time that I can come home from when you said I needed to be home. Or maybe just tell me to be home earlier than you really want me to be. I don’t know. I realize that it isn’t really the fact that I’m five minutes late, but that I am not listening to what you’re telling me to do. I feel worse about it than I think you realize, I don’t want you to think that I don’t care. I do, a lot. I set the time on my phone give minutes ahead, hopefully that’ll help. I completely understand any punishment you give me, but honestly you not saying anything tonight and me thinking about it all night has done more than I can tell you. I feel like I should say more, but I don’t know what to say. I’m really sorry mom, and I love you. -Beth ------- Hopefully something good will come out if it Link to post Share on other sites
C.Celine.C Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 wow Dramatic Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 Take responsibility for your own actions. You are a child. Using the excuse that you want to follow their rules but you 'just can't' is a cop out. Grow up, respect your family, and until you move out respect your parents and follow their rules. I am sick of kids these days passing the blame whenever they stuff up. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 Originally posted by lilylover Everytime that I am late I tell myself that I wont do it again, but I always do. I think you need to just not let me go out late at night anymore, or have a ten minute range of time that I can come home from when you said I needed to be home. Or maybe just tell me to be home earlier than you really want me to be. GROW UP. Have you actually read what you wrote? You are truely pathetic and unwilling to do anything to fix YOUR problem. This has nothing to do with your mother letting you go out, or setting a time you have to be back that is unrealistic, it is YOU that doesn't give a hoot and doesn't even make any effort. Link to post Share on other sites
lilylover Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 Um, was I saying that I was blaming my mom? If you got that impression, you've taken it the wrong way. My mom and I talked this morning, and she isn't mad. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 am i the only one who thinks being 5 mins late isn't such a big deal?? -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 Originally posted by yes am i the only one who thinks being 5 mins late isn't such a big deal?? -yes It isnt, but it is the principal of being late that it wrong, cause 5 mins will tur into 15, into a half hour and so on. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 i don't see the point of asking someone to be hope at X sharp - perhaps she needs an extra 10 mins to chat or finish a drink, is that a crime?? as long as she calls to let her parents know that she'll be a bit late, i don't see any problem whatsoever. there's a big diff-ce between 5 mins and half an hour, cmon. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
C.Celine.C Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 Originally posted by yes am i the only one who thinks being 5 mins late isn't such a big deal?? -yes I totally agree that 5 min is no big deal. Im not sure wheither her mom should care or not, but I am sure that crying about it is a bad implication of something. Is she this strict with other stuff lilly? Imagine what she would do if you were caught doing something that was actually bad. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 The thing is, when she comes home 5 minutes late, time after time, it's seen as an act of disrespect and defiance. Link to post Share on other sites
lilylover Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 She's strict with some things and not with others. She'll let my boyfriend up in my room with the door closed, and let us stay home alone together, yet doesn't like it when I say things like, "that sucks" or use the words crap or shut up. If anyone is wondering, i'm 16. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 Try using that 5 mins late theory with work, school, court, and the rest. If someone tells you to be somewhere at a certian time you be there. You don't complain that 'you need an extra 5 mins'. Leave an extra 5 mins earlier so you make it there on time. 5 mins IS a big deal. It shows you have no respect for the person who has asked you to be there at X. You wonder why there are so many selfish people out there in today's sciety when it is accepted for people to make promises and then break them because 'it isn't such a big deal' I hate to see any of you get married and turn up 10 mins late and have people just 'brush it off' Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 i think this is partially a cultural matter. some cultures are more laid back and an extra 5 mins simply wouldn't be noticed - time is thought of in terms of half-hrs more than minutes. Kat: school, court, etc have a very good reason for you to be on time - the class/proceeding/whatever is starting, they need everybody to be there. But her mom is simply at home, doing this & that, i don't see why what minute her daughter arrives home is big enough to be cried over & stuff. if i were you, lilly, i'd say "mom, it's very hard for me to be at home at X sharp because i'm out with people and may not look at the clock on time - so i'll be home between X and X:30, OK?" but, since apparently i don't really understand the problem, i'll stay quiet now. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 it shows the person who gave you life disrespect. How can it be anything but an issue? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 i don't see it as disrespect by the kid - i see it as unreasonable requirements by the parent. i rlly think this is a cultural issue though - only they can work it out. you, Kat, may request similar things of Hope, some day; when i have kids, i may or may not think as i do now, but now i'd ask my kid to be home at 10-10:30. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 Originally posted by yes i'd ask my kid to be home at 10-10:30. Wait, you think that asking your kid to be home at a certain time is unreasonable? I'd love to be your kid. If your kid CONTINUALLY got home at 10:35--That would be okay with you? Even though you ask for 10:30? What about 10:40? How much is enough--how many CONSISTENT acts of defiance are enough to bother you? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 if my kid wd call and say "i'm on my way home!" if s/he's late, i'd have no problem with it. unless there're speical circumstances, like i need to go to sleep at X because i get up early - then the kid better respect that. ... sorry, but i'm not planning to adopt you -yes PS my parents asked me to be home at X until fairly recently, but it was always OK to be late, within half an hour or so. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 Ahh the joys of being a parent and not having any kids . Link to post Share on other sites
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