greyskies Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 MEN why do you always do this? Okay you break-up with your gf right and you still see her almost everyday for some reason or another. Either by her doing or yours. And there is a lot of tention when you do see each other and before you part each time it gets more painful. And even though your adament about not getting back together. You do agree to have sex here and there. And kind of keep tabs on what your ex is doing if you dont hear from her for a couple of days. (And this is the part that really chaps my hide). She meets someone on-line or in person and you wont act like it bothers you, but it does. Because then you want to start coming around more and calling when you find out there is someone else in the picture? And start doing all the moves you know make us melt. Then the other person gets the boot and then your back to your "We are not together" crap again. ?????????? Help me understand this. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 It's human nature. Happens all the time. Females do it too. They don't want you but they don't want anybody else to have you either. It's a territorial thing. You just pay no attention to it and keep going. When you break up, detach and make no further contact. Do that and you won't have these kinds of problems. The point is, neither part should initiate a break up unless they are absolutely sure that's what they want. If somebody breaks up with you, respect that and don't try to change their mind. If they didn't put a lot of thought into something like that, they are insane and you don't want them back anyway. All this crap about breaking up and then realizing you can't live with somebody is a bunch of bunk. If you're unhappy enough with somebody that you would do something as drastic as break up, that means you weren't happy with the relationship. It should be OVER. You can miss anybody but that doesn't mean it was a good partnership. When you break up, don't look back! Don't have contact with these guys and they can't jerk you around. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 I'll tell you exactly what it is. It's because we're full of s**t. We may not miss you emotionally, but we miss you sexually and we want to have you around for just that. If someone else comes into the picture, we feel like there is an intruder, invading our territory. We're afraid that you'll go off with this other man and the sex will stop. So we call and come around more often, checking on you to make you feel that we are interested in you physically or emotionally and when you finally get rid of this new guy, we know that we have you again, so we back off. It's all an act and I'm guilty of it. ~V Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 EVERYONE's guilty of it. People just have a strong tendency to be very very stupid after breakups. Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 Although I think it's likely more prevalent with men, I'm sure there's lots of women who play these games, too. Now in a situation like you've described, you really can't totally blame the guy at all. If you're relationship is over, what are you doing getting together now and then for sex? To me that's just stupid....because usually, sex means more in an emotional sense, for women......so you do the deed, and then you feel the guy somehow owes you something, but he doesn't come through, and then you feel used. So don't LET yourself be used! If your relationship ended, be civil to each other if you can, but being friends and hanging out and calling to see what each other is doing, and if they're seeing anyone else, that's all a bunch of crap. Cut the ties, move along, get on with your life and don't let yourself get sucked back into something that's been going on for centuries, that's as predictable as the sun setting. A guy can't manipulate and use you unless you let him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greyskies Posted February 15, 2004 Author Share Posted February 15, 2004 But what if the break up was totally on him but your still loving the person. So when and if he does come around (because you have that little bit of hope hes realized he loves you and cant live without you) you are still in love so you try to be all nice and act like your cool with the situation. Because if your be a big bit*h hes gonna get turned off, and think to himself how glad he is he left you cause your just a bit*h. But your really hoping one of the times he comes back around will be just for that reason cause he realized he made a mistake. Being that I feel like a idiot for letting this go on I cant help it I love him. When I love I love so deeply that its almost impossible for me to think that any man would want to end something so real. I know that the meaner I seem to be the nicer he is and when Im nice hes mean. Whats up with that? I just cant understand love at all. I know how to love but I feel I dont know how to receive it. Like I basically sabatoge it from the very start. I have only been with like 6 men in my life and im thirtysomething. And I dont understand what a man needs from me to make him want to stick around. All my relationships have been long term. But I feel purely sexual. How do you really know when someone truly loves you? Link to post Share on other sites
Skittles Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 Greyskies...nice avatart Why do men do this sh*t to us?? Because we let them. We teach people, not just men, how to treat us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greyskies Posted February 16, 2004 Author Share Posted February 16, 2004 Originally posted by Skittles Greyskies...nice avatart Thanks Skittles yours too Why do men do this sh*t to us?? Because we let them. We teach people, not just men, how to treat us. That part I know, But why would we I mean there are like so many guys trying to take me out since I broke it off with him but they do nothing for me. And when a guy tries to make a pass at me I get all grosssed out. And really they are really nice looking and everything but I feel like as if they are the elephant man . Just kidding. No but really I get the creeps. When this is happening Im comparing them to my ex. And I see no comparison. When in reality they are most likely much more. I cant stand the fact that I am doing this to myself cause I deep down inside know he will string me along as long as I allow him to. Why cant I stop myself from giving in to my weak heart? Link to post Share on other sites
Author greyskies Posted February 16, 2004 Author Share Posted February 16, 2004 Originally posted by UCFKevin EVERYONE's guilty of it. People just have a strong tendency to be very very stupid after breakups. Kevin you said it in one word Im STUPID! I hate myself sometimes ya know! Or maybe it life I hate, or maybe its love, no maybe its who ever pisses me off that day. Link to post Share on other sites
carla Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 And they say women are hard to understand.........HA Why is beer and a sports game better then a naked woman standing in front of the TV? Why is going out with the boys better then a night of hot sex at home? Why is four wheeling, sea dooing, snowmobiling, and motorcycling more fun then the motion of a good bump and grind? Why is the superbowl more exciting then couch rugby? Go Figure. Men only know. Let me rephase that MOST men know. A friend told me that the good ones are gay or spoken for, I'm glad I got mine b4 he went gay. Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 carla Why is beer and a sports game better then a naked woman standing in front of the TV?A stereotype. carla A friend told me that the good ones are gay or spoken for, I'm glad I got mine b4 he went gay.What qualities do the good ones possess. Link to post Share on other sites
carla Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 Well..... at one time when I was married to my ex any man that would put me before his beer or his hockey game was a good man. Or anyman that didn't know the answers to the questions that I mentioned b4 was a good man. But..... now that I have a GOOD man, I think that some qualities would be respect, consideration for others, a man thats not afraid to communicate and show his emotional side (Their is nothing wrong with a man that can cry) A man that doesn't have to show off and be Mr. Macho b/c his buddies are around. I could go on and on but you get the point. No I'm not saying that there aren't any desent guys out there b/c their is, it's just that when a woman is looking it seems that all the good ones are gay or spoken for. And as for my bf being gay it's an inside joke that I tease him about and he jokes right back by giving me some fashion advise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greyskies Posted February 16, 2004 Author Share Posted February 16, 2004 Originally posted by carla And they say women are hard to understand.........HA Why is beer and a sports game better then a naked woman standing in front of the TV? Why is going out with the boys better then a night of hot sex at home? Why is four wheeling, sea dooing, snowmobiling, and motorcycling more fun then the motion of a good bump and grind? Why is the superbowl more exciting then couch rugby? Go Figure. Men only know. Let me rephase that MOST men know. A friend told me that the good ones are gay or spoken for, I'm glad I got mine b4 he went gay. Yeah Carla I suppose your right the thing is I know that this is one of them good guys. He seemed to have been a different person then when I met him. I think I may have changed him into a guy whom would rather be gay. LMFAO no really Im serious, I know that I can be a handful. But Isnt that what love is all about. When your in-love that person is the best looking, they cant do no wrong, you put them before all others not matter what you except them for who they are. But men they think that they can run around all hours of the night and then when hes done it over and over again we think they are cheating. So when we accuse them of it we are out of line. And then its how could we think that about them? Well, any women who knows, when your man goes and visit a female friend who lives 2 hours away at 11:00 at night on a Tuesday. He is cheating! Well according to my ex bf it is platonic and that if I couldnt believe him then he was gone. I let it go until he did it again the following week. Then I was like no way in the world you are gonna convense me other wise. So yeah thats why we broke up in the first place. Now that I ran into someone on line who lives close by and we have met. As a matter of fact my ex was fixing my computer and he came over thats how he found out. And right now my ex bf is sleeping on my couch. :lmao: wtfs up with that huh? I love him so I guess its great, I just dont UNDERSTAND! Link to post Share on other sites
corythosaurus Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 Because you let them! Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 I think both genders have offenders (s***! I'm starting to sound like Johnny Cochran). Anyway, I think it all comes down to whoever has the "power" or "leverage" in the relationship. The person who's less interested in the relationship has a tendency to look for fulfillment outside of the relationship, but in many cases, that person feels a sense of security in the relationship they know in contrast to the post-relationship flings they're now engaged in. It's a process which introduces the elements of excitement and uncertainty. As Tony said, it's human nature. People will occasionally use others for their own agendas. It takes a strong person to say "I'm not going to use this person because it's not fair to the other person." I try not to do it, but as others, I've wrestled with my own desires. Just last night in fact, I had dinner with an ex I had broken up with. I had been helping her with a paper and afterward we were both hungry, so I suggested dinner. It kinda seemed like a date. I'd thought about offering to pay and sweet talk her back my way, and I might very well have succeeded, but I thought better of it. What it came down to is what the original poster mentioned: I knew that eventually, we'd probably be right back where we left off. She's a friend now, and I don't want to mess that up. Who knows, though...given enough chances, I might succombe to my own momentary passions. We all do. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 Originally posted by greyskies MEN why do you always do this? Okay you break-up with your gf right and you still see her almost everyday for some reason or another. Either by her doing or yours. And there is a lot of tention when you do see each other and before you part each time it gets more painful. And even though your adament about not getting back together. You do agree to have sex here and there. And kind of keep tabs on what your ex is doing if you dont hear from her for a couple of days. (And this is the part that really chaps my hide). She meets someone on-line or in person and you wont act like it bothers you, but it does. Because then you want to start coming around more and calling when you find out there is someone else in the picture? And start doing all the moves you know make us melt. Then the other person gets the boot and then your back to your "We are not together" crap again. ?????????? Help me understand this. I don't know. Why is it that women do the SAME EXACT THING? Link to post Share on other sites
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