help

[suicide]

My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me 2 months ago. She said she just wants to be friends. She just recently started seeing this stupid %^$%^ guy that im going to kill. Im soo much in love with her and want her back so bad. I can't live with out her. I was wanting to marry her and stuff. I have tried and tried to get her back. She says she wants to see other guys. I CAN"T LIVE WITHOUT HER. I WAS WITH HER FOR 3 YEARS!!!! Why did she wait this long to kill my heart? I have been sitting here at my house for several weeks now. I never go anywhere unless i have to. I can't eat. I sleep ALL the time (15-20 hours a day) I have lost 15 pounds in the last few weeks. I cry every day and night for her. I love her so much that if i can't have her that i think im going to end my life. I have not talked to anyone about this because nobody wants to her lovesick pup like me.

 

AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! THIS SUCKS. Im not gay or anything but I HATE FEMALES!!!!!!!!!!

 

EX: medeivel times: there could be the most srtongest, bravest, beast of a warrior. Slayed every dragon, biggest baddest knights ETC. and that warriors downfall could be no more than a female!!!!

 

Do you females know how much it ##### hurts when you do this to us?

[billy the kid]

yes they know how much it hurts, cuz we do it to them also.. as for you and I'm not belittling you get some professional help. how do you think the guy who was married for 10 yrs and his wife walks out on him feels... you sound like your still young, so there are other fish in the sea.. it will take time and that is all that will heal this pain. If you go and hurt some one she is seeing because your hurting your doing your self more harm than good, and you will never get her back. please for your own good get some help..

My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me 2 months ago. She said she just wants to be friends. She just recently started seeing this stupid %^$%^ guy that im going to kill. Im soo much in love with her and want her back so bad. I can't live with out her. I was wanting to marry her and stuff. I have tried and tried to get her back. She says she wants to see other guys. I CAN"T LIVE WITHOUT HER. I WAS WITH HER FOR 3 YEARS!!!! Why did she wait this long to kill my heart? I have been sitting here at my house for several weeks now. I never go anywhere unless i have to. I can't eat. I sleep ALL the time (15-20 hours a day) I have lost 15 pounds in the last few weeks. I cry every day and night for her. I love her so much that if i can't have her that i think im going to end my life. I have not talked to anyone about this because nobody wants to her lovesick pup like me. AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! THIS SUCKS. Im not gay or anything but I HATE FEMALES!!!!!!!!!! EX: medeivel times: there could be the most srtongest, bravest, beast of a warrior. Slayed every dragon, biggest baddest knights ETC. and that warriors downfall could be no more than a female!!!! Do you females know how much it ##### hurts when you do this to us?

[Tony T]

Got lots to tell you, so listen up and listen closely.

 

First, what she did was a major favor, not a bad thing. Even though you love her so much, if you honestly and truly love her you want her to be free to do what she wants. Second, if you honestly and truly love yourself you do not want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you in reasonably the same way.

 

Second, I know exactly how you feel. I have been through this precise situation, except I lost a lot more weight. The worst is over for you and it will get better. Right now, I am the happiest man alive with a love I know will last forever. Don't even think about suicide. You don't need to be so childish. Taking your life, or just thinking about it, because you don't get something you want is very juvenile. This experience will help you mature emotionally and eventually you will learn that even though it seems the end of the world, a time will come when you will be extremely happy this girl bolted. YOU HAVE MY UNCONDITIONAL GUARANTEE!!!

 

Third, if you think you can get involved in the business love and come out unscathed, you are better off getting a dog or cat. Love is a risk, any way you slice it. There is hardly a greater risk because we put our full trust and our entire being in a relationship. If it fails, for a time, we stop believing in ourselves. But remember, you control yourself and you are responsible for yourself. You do not control anybody else and you should not try.

 

Fourth...the ABSOLUTE WORST THING YOU CAN DO is try hard to get her back. This will annoy her, piss her off, alienate her even more, and she will not be impressed. To the extent that you are accepting of her departure and wish her lots of luck is the extent to which there may be a possibility she could come back. Women want a man. You can drive a woman nuts if you appear to not care whether they are around or not, take my word. And right now, you want to drive her nuts.

 

Fifth...I wouldn't kill the guy she's seeing now. If everybody killed the guy that was seeing the girl that they used to see, most guys on the planet would be dead. It's also against the law. And you could spend your life savings on an attorney and still get the death penalty. The longer she sees him the less you'll care. And if you print out my response here, you can sell it to the poor ole dude in time for a good price because my posts are worth it. And you can get a charge when he pours out his guts at you when she rips his heart out.

 

You need to get some sleep, you need to get some good meals down you, you need to realize that your life isn't over, and for God's sake, you need to realize that this female is absolutely not required for your happiness. I have been madly in LOVE about seven times in my life, so far, and not one of them ending has affected me to the point where I felt I hated women or I wanted to kill myself.

 

If you get to the point where you feel you really want to kill someone or yourself, I urge you to call a professional counsellor or a trusted friend for help. This girl just isn't worth all the problems that either act would cause for you and those that love you.

[Nina]

Yes, we know because men do it to us, too.

 

Let me tell you a story. Be patient.

 

About two years ago I was living with my best friend and dating a guy who I thought was wonderful, sweet, caring...all that jazz. I go away for a week on vacation and I return to a note taped to my door from him that says "call me." I did, and discovered that he had been having sex with my best friend of 10 years and that they were in love.

 

So in one foul swoop I lost my best friend, who was basicaly all I had at that time (no family support), and my lover.

 

Fast forward six months later (after spending three months in hell, alone, with no help, support or family). I meet a wonderful guy. We start dating. We've been together a year now and are getting married in June.

 

Why tell you all this? It happens to everyone. But in the long run, you'll be glad this happened because you will find the person you are meant to be with.

 

Talk to someone...your family, a good friend, even an online counselor. Talk about how you feel. Let her go, move on, take a trip, try something new, smoke a joint...chill out. It will be ok, but when we are in the midst of suffering it's hard to get perspective.

 

Victor Frankl was a jewish psychologist who spent 6 years in Auschwitz, a famous nazi death camp. I was starved to near death, lost his wife and all his family and friends, and his entire life's work was destroyed. Yet he lived on, after this, and bears no ill will to the people who tortured him for six years. Suffering teaches us to be strong, if you let it. Otherwise, you will be bitter and petty. You are the one who gets to choose your attitude. Don't let someone else dictate your behavior.

[Benigno]

Buddy,I feel your pain!! I'm going through something very similar right now! I don't know about the parts where everyone says that you'll find someone else,because it that part hasn't happened to me yet.I won't tell you "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger", because I get mad when I hear that. Sometimes all I want to do is scream or punch a wall or something. The scary/worse part of all this isn't that you might lose your love in life,but that you might NEVER find another ever again.Then you'll be stuck alone and friendless in an ugly world,living and dying in miserable loneliness.You can see how cheerful that sounds.

 

I understand your anger too.It's not really hatred you feel,just pain and rejection.All you want is for her to know how much you're hurting. I had a similar train of thought too,then I realized how twisted it was to want to hurt someone you "loved" ,and I felt ashamed of myself. That made me feel even worse.The truth is NOBODY owes us anything. She doesn't HAVE to love you,it's ok if she loves someone else.It's a fact that most people know,but it's also a fact few people are willing to accept when it happens to them.I have learned to accept it.(why not?I've had enough practice at it!) It sucks.I'd rather chew on broken glass.But it's the truth.

 

All I can say is forgive her.Forgive her for not loving you.Forgive her abandoning you. It's not her fault,you can't force yourself to love someone you don't love.She deserves happiness too,to find someone she can be with! Did you ever think that maybe the time she spent with you might not have been easy on her? Maybe she tried as hard as she could to make it work? She has needs too you know.Let her go,give her the space she needs.

 

Sorry I don't have better advice for you because I'm kind of lost myself.But at least you know you're not the only one who feels like dirt right now. Good luck.