(500) Days of Summer

[CaliGuy]

So I just watched this last night. It's EEEEEEEEEEEERIE how much it was exactly like my last two serious relationships -- especially the one that brought me here about 5 years ago. I mean everything was spot on. Even to the point where the lead actor (Tom) is invited to Summer's party on the roof.

 

I know someone posted the "Expectation/Reality" scene but it brought back vivid memories of being in the same position as he was on that roof and seeing her show off her engagement ring to all her friends.

 

The most common theme is "Always being someone they like hanging out with and acting like boyfriend/girlfriend without the title, but eventually dump you and marry someone they literally just met".

 

The only part that doesn't match is near the end when they are sitting on the bench and Tom is being really nice to her and saying that he is happy for her. I couldn't ever get myself to the point where I was OK with being dumped for someone she just met.

 

Anyone else watch this movie and make a real life connections with this? I highly recommend watching it for guys who have been dumped. It definitely proves one thing: "If she doesn't want a title, if she doesn't act like she wants to be with you -- she doesn't!" LOL

[shadowplay]

I can relate to some aspects of the movie as a woman. I identify more with Tom than Summer. I definitely have been in situations where a guy has taken me for granted/strung me on for awhile and then fallen for some girl he just met, and barely knows, for rather superficial reasons. I feel like a lot of people do this (both genders), and it's irritating as hell. One thing that bothered me about the movie is it promoted the idea that commitment phobes just haven't met the right person. In reality, she seemed flaky and psychologically troubled. I don't doubt that she'd either lose interest in her fiance/husband eventually, or he's some ******* who would make her unhappy.

Edited August 14, 2010 by shadowplay

[JohnP82]

There were a lot of parallels for me also. Though no one as hot as Minka Kelly has showed up in my life yet.

[zengirl]

I can relate to some aspects of the movie as a woman. I identify more with Tom than Summer. I definitely have been in situations where a guy has taken me for granted/strung me on for awhile and then fallen for some girl he just met, and barely knows, for rather superficial reasons. I feel like a lot of people do this (both genders), and it's irritating as hell. One thing that bothered me about the movie is it tried to make it seem as if Summer were being reasonable, and that's just the way love works. In reality, she seemed like a flaky commitment phobe. I don't doubt that she'd either lose interest in her fiance/husband eventually, or he's some ******* who would make her unhappy.

 

Neither Tom, nor Summer was being reasonable in that movie. (Now, I think Tom is a cutie, and I'd totally go out with him, and Summer is a weirdo and I'd totally make fun of her for liking Ringo best just to be contrary. "Octopus's Garden." Meh. Plus, of course, she was crappy to him, especially with all the wedding stuff, since she knew she was seeing someone else, and she'd have to be really obtuse to not get that Tom is still into her.)

 

Tom was looking for someone to fall in love with to complete his life and make him happy in a totally unhealthy way, and Summer was avoiding it in a totally unhealthy way.

 

I think Tom may have very well "healed" Summer (provoked her to reflect and heal herself) so she could actually have a successful relationship. Sadly, I think we left the movie seeing that Tom still needed to do some more healing himself.

 

I think it was pretty realistic, but the roles are interchangeable (sometimes Tom is the girl and Summer is the guy).

[Green]

My life is more like from paris with love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sLG0owba0E&feature=related

 

(500) days of summer was anoying in the mixed up way they told the story... I mean I see why they did that just anoyed me.

 

I can't really relate to that movie though.

[shadowplay]

Neither Tom, nor Summer was being reasonable in that movie. (Now, I think Tom is a cutie, and I'd totally go out with him, and Summer is a weirdo and I'd totally make fun of her for liking Ringo best just to be contrary. "Octopus's Garden." Meh. Plus, of course, she was crappy to him, especially with all the wedding stuff, since she knew she was seeing someone else, and she'd have to be really obtuse to not get that Tom is still into her.)

 

Tom was looking for someone to fall in love with to complete his life and make him happy in a totally unhealthy way, and Summer was avoiding it in a totally unhealthy way.

 

I think Tom may have very well "healed" Summer (provoked her to reflect and heal herself) so she could actually have a successful relationship. Sadly, I think we left the movie seeing that Tom still needed to do some more healing himself.

 

I think it was pretty realistic, but the roles are interchangeable (sometimes Tom is the girl and Summer is the guy).

 

I agree. I actually kind of loathed the movie, because both characters irritated me and struck me as shallow people. That's not to say it wasn't realistic, but where the movie was supposed to be endearing I found it cloying instead. If the point of the movie had been that both characters were annoying, then that might have swayed me in the other direction. But you were clearly supposed to at least empathize with Tom. There were a few funny parts, though (the Ikea scene, for example).

 

Although I identified with Tom's frustration, I was put off by his shallowness. He basically falls for Summer without knowing anything about her because she's a pretty manic pixie dream girl who happens to like a Smith's song. Lame. I've known many, many guys like Tom (went to a college bursting at the seams with them), and they're usually very immature people who idolize women from a distance but have trouble with real intimacy. Even though I've been in a somewhat similar position before as Tom is, I didn't feel much sympathy for him because I could easily imagine him overlooking a girl who has real substance while he pines for his mpdg. The ending was lame. Again, he seems smitten with a girl for superficial reasons. I didn't see any growth on his part there.

 

Summer is also irritating. She's flaky, dopey, shallow and has little going for her other than her blank tweetie bird stare and a quirky dressing style. She doesn't seem especially bright, or sweet, or interesting, or anything.

 

If you strip away the hipster references, joy division shirts, and mix tapes, these are two boring people responding to each other in shallow ways.

 

This basically sums up the movie for me.

Edited August 14, 2010 by shadowplay

[CaliGuy]

I agree. I actually kind of loathed the movie, because both characters irritated me and struck me as shallow people. That's not to say it wasn't realistic, but where the movie was supposed to be endearing I found it cloying instead. If the point of the movie had been that both characters were annoying, then that might have swayed me in the other direction. But you were clearly supposed to at least empathize with Tom. There were a few funny parts, though (the Ikea scene, for example).

 

Although I identified with Tom's frustration, I was put off by his shallowness. He basically falls for Summer without knowing anything about her because she's a pretty manic pixie dream girl who happens to like a Smith's song. Lame. I've known many, many guys like Tom (went to a college bursting at the seams with them), and they're usually very immature people who idolize women from a distance but have trouble with real intimacy. Even though I've been in a somewhat similar position before as Tom is, I didn't feel much sympathy for him because I could easily imagine him overlooking a girl who has real substance while he pines for his mpdg. The ending was lame. Again, he seems smitten with a girl for superficial reasons. I didn't see any growth on his part there.

 

Summer is also irritating. She's flaky, dopey, shallow and has little going for her other than her blank tweetie bird stare and a quirky dressing style. She doesn't seem especially bright, or sweet, or interesting, or anything.

 

If you strip away the hipster references, joy division shirts, and mix tapes, these are two boring people responding to each other in shallow ways.

 

This basically sums up the movie for me.

 

The bar scene sums it up. He defends her and him and she doesn't like it.

 

She was more than adamant about not wanting a relationship but Tom didn't take the hint.

 

The major growth area for me is that I stick around in relationships anymore that parallel this movie. If she's not into me, I'm not sticking around. I'll simply find someone else

[zengirl]

I thought they were both good enough people, but young and damaged.

 

It's hard to understand Summer without understanding how divorce twisted her into believing love was literally a lie. It wasn't until she met Tom that she had any notion that her idea was ridiculous.

 

It's harder to understand Tom in a way, because we're given little reason for his fixation on love (British pop songs are not a reason! ), but it's easier to understand him in a way, because it's a more "normal" view of love. . . meaning it comes up more often.

 

I've dug a guy considerably more because he happened to bring up and like a song I really like. Tom was obviously super passionate about music, so I find that not odd at all. But, yeah, falling for her from afar is silly. People do that, though, and I don't think it makes them bad. I think they made it clear Tom had been unlucky in love before. I don't think he avoids intimacy, but he just hasn't been lucky enough to see how to find someone who wants to build it. If you've never done that, it's kind of hard to spot them.

 

I liked the friend who had the long-term girlfriend forever, when he said the things about the perfect woman, and how his girlfriend so wasn't the perfect woman but was more perfect. That's the lesson Tom has to learn. I think he's gotten farther and gotten better at being himself (going for his dreams; architect stuff). So, he learned something. I don't know. I think people learn a lot in relationships, so of course they screw up a lot. Most relationships are failures, and even if they're big, messy failures or tiny, amicable failures, the important thing is, "What did you learn?" Not at first when you feel like you've just lost a limb, but eventually.

 

I liked the movie. I thought it was supposed to be neither cloying, nor endearing, but kind of true and a bit ironic. I thought it was pretty structurally sound and interesting, in that we're given the ending and the time jumps around.

[shadowplay]

 

(500) days of summer was anoying in the mixed up way they told the story... I mean I see why they did that just anoyed me.

 

Don't you see? That makes it quirky and fun! Actually, I kind of liked the non-linear structure, but in general the movie was too "precious" in both style and content for my taste. Ironically, it reminded me a lot of a hipster alternative to a hallmark card, even though the protagonist hated his vocation in the greeting-card business.

 

In some ways the structure owed a lot to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but the movie was less endearing overall. Where I liked ESoftSM were its moments of real depth, nuance and emotion, where the characters broke out of their molds. Michel Gondry's manic style worked for me at the beginning, but became more of a distraction as the movie progressed. I wish he had toned it down a little, because the screenplay itself has enough quirk.

[zengirl]

Ironically, it reminded me a lot of a hipster alternative to a hallmark card, even though the protagonist hated his vocation in the greeting-card business.

 

Yeah, I believe that was intentional. I got the same feel. It's like what a hipster would do as some sort of random video project instead of sending a greeting card. But I'm kind of a hipster, so hence why I dug the movie.

 

In some ways the structure owed a lot to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but the movie was less endearing overall. Where I liked ESoftSM were its moments of real depth, nuance and emotion, where the characters broke out of their molds. Michel Gondry's manic style worked for me at the beginning, but became more of a distraction as the movie progressed. I wish he had toned it down a little, because the screenplay itself has enough quirk.

 

The movie is not at all substantial compared to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. But Kauffman is a genius. That's a large part in the writing. And much more substantial actors.

 

Also, I feel ESoftSM is more for romantics and (500) Days is more for cynics.

[shadowplay]

 

I've dug a guy considerably more because he happened to bring up and like a song I really like. Tom was obviously super passionate about music, so I find that not odd at all. .

 

Eh, maybe if it'd been a more unique song. Everyone knows and likes that Smiths song. That's not to say it would need to be by some obscure band, but you know what I mean.

 

Yeah, I've been more interested in a guy because he has good taste, but usually it takes a bit more than that to impress me.

[shadowplay]

Yeah, I believe that was intentional. I got the same feel. It's like what a hipster would do as some sort of random video project instead of sending a greeting card. But I'm kind of a hipster, so hence why I dug the movie.

 

 

 

The movie is not at all substantial compared to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. But Kauffman is a genius. That's a large part in the writing. And much more substantial actors.

 

Also, I feel ESoftSM is more for romantics and (500) Days is more for cynics.

 

I love Kauffman as well. I really liked Eternal Sunshine, but I think my favorite of his is still Being John Malkovich. The pairing with Jonze seemed to work well for him. Synecdoche, New York was interesting and insightful, but depressed the hell out of me.

 

I actually feel the opposite way, or rather that ESofSM is for cynics who are romantics at heart while 500 days is for romantics who are cynics at heart.

[zengirl]

Eh, maybe if it'd been a more unique song. Everyone knows and likes that Smiths song. That's not to say it would need to be by some obscure band, but you know what I mean.

 

Yeah, I've been more interested in a guy because he has good taste, but usually it takes a bit more than that to impress me.

 

I wish everyone liked the Smiths, or even knew them, but sadly, I've found it not so. I thought it was more the way she liked it. A fellow piqued my interest by the way he talked about the Abbey Road medley songs. And that's certainly not an obscure reference. Maybe you have to be a British-rock-obsessed-semi-hipster to find such things important.

[zengirl]

I love Kauffman as well. I really liked Eternal Sunshine, but I think my favorite of his is still Being John Malkovich. The pairing with Jonze seemed to work well for him. Synecdoche, New York was interesting and insightful, but depressed the hell out of me.

 

I actually feel the opposite way, or rather that ESofSM is for cynics who are romantics at heart while 500 days is for romantics who are cynics at heart.

 

Well, yes. One is cynical on the outside but really romantic on the inside, whereas one is romantic on the outside but cynical on the inside. I agree completely. I was referring to the insides/at heart parts.

[knaveman]

So I just watched this last night. It's EEEEEEEEEEEERIE how much it was exactly like my last two serious relationships -- especially the one that brought me here about 5 years ago. I mean everything was spot on. Even to the point where the lead actor (Tom) is invited to Summer's party on the roof.

 

I know someone posted the "Expectation/Reality" scene but it brought back vivid memories of being in the same position as he was on that roof and seeing her show off her engagement ring to all her friends.

 

The most common theme is "Always being someone they like hanging out with and acting like boyfriend/girlfriend without the title, but eventually dump you and marry someone they literally just met".

 

The only part that doesn't match is near the end when they are sitting on the bench and Tom is being really nice to her and saying that he is happy for her. I couldn't ever get myself to the point where I was OK with being dumped for someone she just met.

 

Anyone else watch this movie and make a real life connections with this? I highly recommend watching it for guys who have been dumped. It definitely proves one thing: "If she doesn't want a title, if she doesn't act like she wants to be with you -- she doesn't!" LOL

 

I liked that movie too, just watched it the other day. I like the scene where he looks back on their relationship and sees the problems in it finally, he changes his perspective.

 

Also, I dated a girl who didn't want a "relationship" but still wanted to be together without all the titles. Drove me nuts, but I stayed with her for a year.

 

You should watch Adventureland, another effed up relationship movie. Kinda funny too.

[shadowplay]

I wish everyone liked the Smiths, or even knew them, but sadly, I've found it not so. I thought it was more the way she liked it. A fellow piqued my interest by the way he talked about the Abbey Road medley songs. And that's certainly not an obscure reference. Maybe you have to be a British-rock-obsessed-semi-hipster to find such things important.

 

Nah, I love British rock, and I'm obsessed with music. Most of my favorite bands would fall squarely into hipster terrain:

 

the pixies, joy division, david bowie, my bloody valentine, wire, patti smith, television, sonic youth, new order, the jesus and mary chain, elliott smith, the throwing muses, the cure, the zombies, nick drake, leonard cohen, slowdive, the kinks...

 

I agree with you that some of it is about how the person likes it, but I don't remember her saying anything interesting about the song...just saying she liked it.

 

It sounds like you've live in areas with fewer cultured people, so maybe that's part of the difference. All my life I've lived in places or gone to schools with many hipsters, and many of them are rather artificial people. There are some genuinely smart and interesting ones, but you have to pick through a lot of chaff.

Edited August 14, 2010 by shadowplay

[shadowplay]

Well, yes. One is cynical on the outside but really romantic on the inside, whereas one is romantic on the outside but cynical on the inside. I agree completely. I was referring to the insides/at heart parts.

 

Yep, I'm a cynic who is romantic at heart so I can more easily identify with the characters in ES. Romantics with cynical hearts creep me out, and I tend to avoid them. That's not to say they're bad people, but they're dangerous in relationships.

[Green]

I guess caliguy is a hipster

[zengirl]

Nah, I love British rock, and I'm obsessed with music. Most of my favorite bands would fall squarely into hipster terrain:

 

the pixies, joy division, david bowie, my bloody valentine, wire, patti smith, television, sonic youth, new order, the jesus and mary chain, elliott smith, the throwing muses, the cure, the zombies, nick drake, leonard cohen, slowdive, the kinks...

 

I agree with you that some of it is about how the person likes it, but I don't remember her saying anything interesting about the song...just saying she liked it.

 

It was the way she started singing the song. She didn't say anything that would be interesting to transcribe, but I got the vibe. I've felt that vibe.

 

It sounds like you've live in areas with fewer cultured people, so maybe that's part of the difference. All my life I've lived in places or gone to schools with many hipsters, and many of them are rather artificial people. There are some genuinely smart and interesting ones, but you have to pick through a lot of chaff.

 

There are some hipsters where I'm from, but it's a big mix of everybody there. A lot of rap/hip hop in the scene, and some country too, but plenty of indie rock as well. Not that there aren't people who like The Smiths, but it's definitely more a particular scene sort of thing. There's a pretty strong hipster community. Abroad? It's a big darn mix. I don't know if I'd say less "cultured." I mean, culture is varied and wide. Plenty of these folks know loads about various music and culture I've no interest in.

[CaliGuy]

I wish everyone liked the Smiths, or even knew them, but sadly, I've found it not so. I thought it was more the way she liked it. A fellow piqued my interest by the way he talked about the Abbey Road medley songs. And that's certainly not an obscure reference. Maybe you have to be a British-rock-obsessed-semi-hipster to find such things important.

 

Umm I have the full Smith's catalog as well as Morrissey's solo stuff.

[CaliGuy]

I liked that movie too, just watched it the other day. I like the scene where he looks back on their relationship and sees the problems in it finally, he changes his perspective.

 

Also, I dated a girl who didn't want a "relationship" but still wanted to be together without all the titles. Drove me nuts, but I stayed with her for a year.

 

You should watch Adventureland, another effed up relationship movie. Kinda funny too.

 

Yep. The one that brought me here and the one from work are eerily similar in the sense both of them wanted to hang out with me, romp in the bed, do things together like a couple but NEVER label it a relationship.

 

Simply put, I was a "port in the storm" that kept them sane and felt loved until they found someone else they liked more than me. The fact is, they know I wasn't looking for "filler material" but long term. I never date anyone with the notion that they are simply filling time for me. That's selfish and unfair to ANYONE you date.

 

I'll have to check out Adventureland, but I loved 500 Days because well, I love Zooey (she is beautiful) and the movie correlated so well with my own personal relationship failures.

 

I guess caliguy is a hipster

 

Nope.

[motive2002]

I'll have to see both movies again (Summer and Spotless Mind). It's been a while.

 

I think the best way to watch those movies is Summer first, then Spotless mind after. I'd agree that the latter film has more depth.

[meerkat stew]

I didn't find 500 Days of Summer "hip" in any way, just bland. It sums up as borderline disordered gal with annoyingly flat affect uses weak, ineffectual schlub as a placeholder while she looks for and finds Mr. Right.

 

Everyone has likely been in that situation at least once and hopefully avoids it after by becoming inoculated to it.

 

In reality, though, the relationship would have been just fine if not near perfect, they would have been talking marriage, there would be frequent ILYs in both directions, then suddenly out of the blue, she would start saying that her feelings were changing, that she was falling out of love with him and thought of him more as a friend, that she had never -really- been in love with him (with subtext suggesting that she blamed him for that). Then it would come out that she had been sleeping with her multimillionaire boss for the last 1.5 years, that he was finally starting divorce proceedings, and her "change of heart" coincided with the filing date of the boss's divorce.

 

Wonder why we never see -that- movie?

[CaliGuy]

I didn't find 500 Days of Summer "hip" in any way, just bland. It sums up as borderline disordered gal with annoyingly flat affect uses weak, ineffectual schlub as a placeholder while she looks for and finds Mr. Right.

 

Everyone has likely been in that situation at least once and hopefully avoids it after by becoming inoculated to it.

 

In reality, though, the relationship would have been just fine if not near perfect, they would have been talking marriage, there would be frequent ILYs in both directions, then suddenly out of the blue, she would start saying that her feelings were changing, that she was falling out of love with him and thought of him more as a friend, that she had never -really- been in love with him (with subtext suggesting that she blamed him for that). Then it would come out that she had been sleeping with her multimillionaire boss for the last 1.5 years, that he was finally starting divorce proceedings, and her "change of heart" coincided with the filing date of the boss's divorce.

 

Wonder why we never see -that- movie?

 

This happens in real life every single day.

 

Becoming "inoculated" is simply learning to love and respect yourself.

It's never making someone else a priority who only sees you as an "option".

 

And that's exactly what she made of him. An option.

[InceptorsRule]

Yes but why did Arthur need to attach the explosive charges to the elevator car so that the second-level dreamers could get the "kick"?

 

 

Oops sorry wrong movie.