suspect girlfriend cheating after 20 of being with her

[thevoodoochild]

Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for 20 years. I can honestly say I have never cheated & She is the only girl i been with & sex with & proud of it cos I love her so much. We been together from young age. We have a son, 12 yrs old. I'm Suspicous of a friend of both of us. It started when I took her phone out her hands & ran off in garden to go throuth it. He had sent messages telling her to leave me & a voice mail saying he cant stop thinking aout her. it was just a phone number (We both have his phone number) She denied it was his number & so did he even when I played him the message. Even my son was shocked. that day the number was turned off. She Goes out saying she's at friends of her brothers & is not cos I check as she drives a car. She swears she was where she says even though i know clearly she not where she said. When I go out he turns up. He tells me i'm paranoid for accusing them. I went up my dad's place cos my grandad died. ( Dad's dad died) He turned up to visit me but I had to go out , he said he'd have a cuppa & leave. He had his son so I was kindof cool with it. I arrived home at 4:30 in morning to find him in our home still & he even had dropped his son off to his ex. If he was my friend he would not do that after I accuse him. Right?? He started taking my son out to car shows & buying him things its like he's grooming my son to play dad to him. My mum did the same to my dad. maybe i'm just being paranoid cos my mum or maybe they planning running off together & he turns up to wind me up so he drives me & my girlfriend apart. She says she loves me loads & also she lets me check her out when she gets in late & been lieing about where she been. She even has sex with me and I cant detect any evidence she has had sex with another guy cos she dont shower when she gets in cos she has one before she goes out. She sometimes is all over me after she messed me about lieing. Also sex is great with her so I just dont know what to think. Should I call it a day with her or what. I love her very much. can someone shed light? Its driving me crazy, I feel sometimes like I'd rather top myself. can someone help? Is it common to be lied to like this but be loved by her at same time. What a head f***.

[Green]

Sounds like she is cheating on you. Why did you let your son know about this stuff?

 

You don't need to get her to admit it... the cell phone thing is enough right? what about finding the guy at your house alone after all the acusations? cmon man even if she isn't cheating she has no respect that should be enough... move on and leave your son out of this..

[Fouts]

In situations like these, usually when there's smoke, there's fire.

[thevoodoochild]

Hi Green, 20 yrs is along time. Have you ever been in a relationship for 20 yrs. It's a different kind of love, More deeper love & after 20 yrs I can't imagine life without her. (or with anyone else) I am gonna try prove it or prove she fathful to me. She has never done this before to me. I have a new weapon guys an ipod nano! Its got a voice recorder on it. It picks up every thing in my home! & It records for hours & hours. She went out while I was out but explained she was going to see her bro by tex. I listened to the recording & found out as I heard her on phone to him. Also she was half hour out. So people if your suspicous get a nano they work, Small so can put it anywhere! I will keep posting my progress.

 

The Voodoo Child

[robdrm32]

Dude, re-read you original post. You have caught her in multiple lies. Another man was in your house at 4:30 AM?

 

Why? did you even ask for an explanation? I understand love clouds the mind, i've been there before. Where something so obvious is in your face but you can't see it.

 

I"m sorry man but based on what you've said she cheated/is cheating. You have to decide if your going to put up with that and try to work it out.

 

Stop the snooping you have all the info you need short of walking in on them in the act. And of course she is going to be all over you after catch her in a lie, she is using you.

 

Tell her to gtfo or stop seeing this other guy and start working on your relationship.

 

Don't let her spin it, don't let her guilt you just lay down the law.

[thevoodoochild]

I know man thanks its good advice. My son told me they took him to airballoon show together with his son and she denies it. I not involved my son either he told me freely after he argued with her that he took them. We just come back from holiday & she was all over me. Maybe she's keeping me incase it dont work out with the other guy. I told her go near him at all & its over. On holiday I showed har I love her loads so we shall see but I recon she will still sneak about. If she does god help him & i'll kick her out cos my home is in my tennacy.