long distance boyfriend never wants to see me on cam when were apart, is this normal?

[bella8464]

[color=darkblue][/color]

my boyfriend lives in new york and i live in california. we dont get to see each other often. so the only way for us to ever see each other when were apart is on the webcam, but he never wants to see me anymore. when we were first together, he couldnt get enough of it. i havent seen him in person in 5 months due to our work schedules. i would assume he would at least want to see me on cam, although, of course, it doesnt compare to being together in the flesh. but he doesnt. he hasnt seen my face in months. am i wrong to assume that he should want to, at the very least, see me on cam?? should i assume hes not attracted to me anymore?

[dyermaker]

You should ask him.

[bella8464]

i have asked him, and he tells me that if he could have painted his perfect girl, she would look just like me. but we all know actions speak louder than words. is his disinterest in seeing me enough reason for me to believe that he isnt attracted to me?

[bella8464]

also, i need to add...i have sexual needs too and he doesnt help me out with them when were apart...is it normal to never have phone sex or cam sex when youre apart for this long?

[Fancy]

Since you say he doesn't want to see you on cam, I'm assuming you've discussed this with him, right? What did he say?

 

Only he can answer this question for you, but it certainly does seem odd to me. If I were in a long distance relationship, I'd be thrilled to see my man in any capacity I could.

[Tony T]

I think it would be WRONG to assume he is NOT seeing somebody else now. This relationship is way too weird for even some of the weirdest cybermaniacs. I'm afraid your next step is to do your thing at www.DustThisGuyASAP.com. I'm really sorry to have to tell you this here. You should have figured it out for yourself by now.

 

If you can't find more time to have a nice relationship with somebody in your proximity, forget men for a while until you can make the time available. Relationships require quality time together and NOT over a webcam.

[I Love Justin]

[font=century gothic][/font] Well, since you two don't get to see eachother alot maybe he miss' you so much that if he see's your face he'll miss you even more than he already does! If that's not it I still wouldn't worry about it!

 

 

*~I Love Justin*~

[Phoenix]

I think the Justin lover here is either 14 or really naive. Yeah, maybe seeing you would make him miss you more, but that kind of thing is just a given when you love someone who's far away. You miss them and it hurts, but it's a good kind of ache, and you should welcome it because it tells you you care. It sounds like a bad situation to me. If I were 2000+ miles from my sweetie I would just die. I mean, I'm almost 100 miles from him at the moment and that's driving me crazy enough, but I always welcome his voice on the phone even though it makes me think more about him and the fact that he's far away and I don't get to cuddle up with him. And I do everything I can to see him as often as possible!!! We don't have webcams, or I would love to use one. So yeah, point is: don't be naive, don't let this guy jerk you around, and don't stay in a situation that makes you uncomfortable in any way! Stay strong and beautiful and good luck!

[faux]

Originally posted by bella8464

also, i need to add...i have sexual needs too and he doesnt help me out with them when were apart...is it normal to never have phone sex or cam sex when youre apart for this long?

 

I personally hate phone and cam sex. It's uninteresting and devoid of meaning to me. I might talk about some erotic fantasy I'm making up if I get bugged enough for phone sex, but I don't enjoy it.

 

Maybe your boyfriend doesn't like that sort of thing, or if he did is no longer interested.

 

As for him not being into seeing you, why not ask him about it? Tell him how you feel as you told us here how you feel.

[bella8464]

hello, everyone. i just want to thank all those who took the time to respond to my problem. we did have a talk, and he has told me that i was reading into it wrong. he feels that cam or phone sex can never substitute to the real thing. it doesnt satisfy him unless i am there for him to kiss and to hold. i guess being in a long distance relationship sometimes makes you feel a little insecure because you dont feel as much like youre a part of your partners life. whenever we are together, he is very attentive and very affectionate. he spends every minute with me and it is as if no one else exists. i cant complain about anything when we are physically together. and to tony, no he is not cheating on me. he is the most faithful, trustworthy, honest man. he has never lied to me. and i do know that you have to put quality time into a relationship. just because there were times we couldnt be together doesnt mean were not dedicated to each other. he is very hardworking and also he is going to school. he is moving here, tony, in one month. and he is taking a big paycut just to be able to be with me everyday.

[I Love Justin]

[font=century gothic][/font]well then why don't you just ask him why he doesn't want to see you on cam?

[C1]

What's the big deal? I don't like the cam either, it hurts to see someone you love this way and not to be able to be next to them.

[I Love Justin]

[font=century gothic][/font] yes thank you C1 that's what i'm saying! and they thought it was dumb! lol

[marieoj]

not trying to worry you but I am in a long distance relationship. And It is hard work. and can ruin you and you get so much consumed in it if only one part puts all the work in the relationship. I can understand him not wanting to be on the web cam everyday, but for five months. Come on. If you are willing to endure .. go ahead. I am in my relationship of someone who has his own business and is working 24/7 which is the reason for not answering the phone most of the time so my patience right now is very short with him. No one can instruct you but you. if this is a problem that is interfering with your life(job,social ,family) in your city where you are now. you should probably talk to him about it if not make decisions.

[marieoj]

Originally posted by bella8464

hello, everyone. i just want to thank all those who took the time to respond to my problem. we did have a talk, and he has told me that i was reading into it wrong. he feels that cam or phone sex can never substitute to the real thing. it doesnt satisfy him unless i am there for him to kiss and to hold. i guess being in a long distance relationship sometimes makes you feel a little insecure because you dont feel as much like youre a part of your partners life. whenever we are together, he is very attentive and very affectionate. he spends every minute with me and it is as if no one else exists. i cant complain about anything when we are physically together. and to tony, no he is not cheating on me. he is the most faithful, trustworthy, honest man. he has never lied to me. and i do know that you have to put quality time into a relationship. just because there were times we couldnt be together doesnt mean were not dedicated to each other. he is very hardworking and also he is going to school. he is moving here, tony, in one month. and he is taking a big paycut just to be able to be with me everyday.

 

Bella well you are doing great that is all the confirmation you need.